Seasons? We have seasons!!

People ask me all the time, "Do you miss the seasons?"

What?

We have seasons.

For example, like the buds that first push through the ground in March up north, they start to appear here, except in October.

They come, first one by one, parking themselves in the center lane of A1A, aka Beach Road.  As October turns to November and then December, it becomes a cacophony of car carriers, convoyed down the center line, offloading the Caddies, Buicks, Lincolns, the occasional Bentley and Rolls Royce.  The trucks line up, nose to tail nose to tail, like the thousands of tulips I would see in the north in the spring, bringing to us the joys of the season.  The transportation has arrived, awaiting the flock of snow birds in their wake.

Shortly after the car carriers comes the awakening of the condos, the long covered over windows and sliders opening their eyes as the hurricane shutters go to storage.  Buildings, long silent and sleepy, awaken to the wheelchairs, walkers, and grocery carts of the snow birds.

High Season is here.

We go a little slower along A1A, the headless drivers going well below the speed limit.  But instead of impatience I thank them for the opportunity to look left and right along the beach, thankful for the sunshine, the light breeze, the top down and the birds flying overhead.  If I had been traveling my normal speed I might have missed this.

We drive downtown on a Friday night, wondering why we can't get all the way downtown.  Then we remember "HIGH SEASON." That means roads closed, a live band (FREE) downtown, dancing with our neighbors and friends, enjoying the peaceful evening, the slight chill in the air, the seasonal specials and good feelings of those on vacation.

Ah yes.  High Season.  Just one of the Seasons of South Florida.

So no, I do not miss the seasons.  I recognize a different kind of changing seasons.  And Love it just as much
.

And I would change....nothing.

The holidays were crazy, let's just say.  Lots of people, lots and lots and lots of food, some of which decided to take up permanent residence in my already growing hips.  Way too much alcohol.  I do like the chaos of my family, the singing, the games, the noise.

But I am glad to have the peace and quiet of our house back.  Just me and the Captain.

So today for some reason as I'm driving to work, I thought, "What would I change about the Captain if I could?"

And the answer?

Nothing.

Is he "perfect"? - for me, yes.  Does he have faults?  Of course, but they are what make him so adorable, so The Captain.

And that made me smile, all the rest of the day.

Ironically, Son called to chat midday.  Forget that I have a job and that after 2 weeks of sleeping everyone realized they needed me NOW.  Of course I put it all aside to talk to him.  And we got to talking about his Girlfriend (GF).  She is gorgeous, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet, quick witted.  But .... but she is very, very quiet and not at all who I ever envisioned for him.  And he recognizes the things in her he would like to change.  (although he knows he cannot).  And that's when I told him....I'd change nothing about the Captain.  Not that he should give up on GF.  There are events in her life that apparently caused her to go from more outgoing person to this shy person.  But he should remember what he wants, what's important, and he should know that 1) he can't change her; 2) there is a person out there for him that he'll look at and say, "I wouldn't change a thing." 

Perhaps GF is his ultimate perfection. If she isn't, I hope he doesn't sell himself (and her) short.

Because finding the person you would not change one bit?  Priceless.

At Last! I have ARRIVED

The rooms were all empty...it should have been satisfying after 8 weeks of packing.  After 2 years of planning.  After Eons of dreaming.  But instead, it was just sadly devastating.

The kids and I spent the last night on air mattresses, telling stories, crying, laughing, being together.  Early the next day, Daughter headed out early for work.  I gathered the last of my belongings, said goodbye to Stinky Butt....

Hells yes that's me crying my eyes out and Son trying to make me forget.  Ironically, this is in Ex's house....next door....

And then, the hardest thing I've had to do in a long time.  I had to drive away.  With Son standing in the driveway.  Crying along with me....

 I had made the drive south on 95 before.  I stopped in SC overnight, having cried my way through 3 1/2 states.  I awoke the next morning and finally crossed a new border I had never crossed by car.  And I was tear free!!!

 Queen Bee slept through it all....

 I began to see sunrises and opportunities I hadn't seen before...

And before I knew it - I almost missed it - My Welcome Home Sign!!!

BUT WAIT what's this??!!  Found in the "Welcome Center"  You are kidding right?  Because I am driving 600 miles right back North if you are serious!!!!!!

After 2 days and 1000 miles, I was happy when the miles left to go equaled my MPH....

No More Tears.  We are almost home!!!  (What?  Driving and taking photos?  Hey I'm not texting....)

Yeah, that's my exit...

Laughing at myself.  "WHAT  They give away POOLS here?  Love it!!  .....oh wait they mean like billiards....

I recognize this sign from the rental photos I saw on line!!

What, you didn't know I rented this without actually seeing it in person?!

Yes I trust the Captain THAT MUCH.  HE picked it out...

Queen Bee Sniffs the new turf....

No more tears.  Ahhhh yes, this is what the moving, the upheaval, the packing, the tossing, the trashing, the selling, the crying, the broken nails, bruised limbs, sleepless nights, THIS is what life is all about.....

Queen Bee Agrees...

OK oK so we didn't have any furniture yet.  We had love.  And the Captain loves my dog.  OUR dog....

WELCOME TO MY NEW HOME EVERYONE

HERE, I AM NEXT DOOR TO PARADISE......

STAY TUNED.....

Moving On....

Word is out.  I'm moving.

What's that you say, you know my house is for sale?

No, I'm seriously moving on.

To Florida!  YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT!

I am so excited.  Scared.  Happy.  Eager.  A bit anxious.

I have a new job in Florida working "in-house" which means no more billable hours, no more marketing,  no more cool shoes because I can't afford them  - oh well.

Yes, I am moving closer to the Captain.  A.  Lot.  Closer.  We are not sure yet if we are sharing a roof.  But we are definitely going to be in the same town.  Imagine.  Dinner together.  Perhaps Breakfasts together.  Working out together.  Maybe catching a movie.  Doing chores.  Gardening.  Trips to Home Depot. 

I seriously cannot wait.

I told BossMan yesterday that I am leaving.  It was really really hard to do.  I do love my Big DC Firm.  I love my friends here (9 years worth!).  I have a great firm and my practice group is one of the best in the country in our practice area.  I have a LOT of friends here.  And it will be hard to leave.

They have tried to woo me back.  But they just can't compete with the CAPTAIN!

I am not moving until the end of July/beginning of August.  I still have a house to sell.  I have kids coming from Spain in July.  But I am leaving my Firm June 10, flying to Ft. Lauderdale June 10, picking up my new laptop and new blackberry and a pile of cases June 13, and flying back to MD June 15 where I will "work from home" until late July.  Sweet deal.

It's an adventure to be sure.  It's a lot of change all at once, but changes I have been contemplating for years.  I think it's the right thing, the right opportunity, and I'm excited!  When I'm not trembling. 

And? My Firm offered me a safety net - in writing - that if it doesn't work out, I can come "home."  I told you it's an awesome place that will be hard to leave.

But coming home from work and looking out on the water, hold the Captain's hand and staring out at the sunset?  Priceless 

Yes the "Change the title of the Blog" contest is still on - so now this gives you more ideas, right?  You still have until June 1 to suggest titles!!!!

The Quilt

When my oldest brother married his sweetheart 34 years ago my Aunt J & cousin LF came up with a brilliant idea.  (OK I'm not sure who thought of it and I think cousin LF did the first few?!)  A few months before the wedding, each family member on the Groom's side received some cloth squares in the mail with instructions to 1) sign your name in cursive on the square - legibly please - and return to Cousin/Aunt and 2) DON'T MENTION THIS TO THE GROOM/BRIDE.

On the eve of the wedding, Aunt & family showed up from far away in middle America with The Wedding Gift:  a beautiful handmade quilt with all the signatures of the family embroidered (quilted?  Hell IDK.  We've already established I am NOT craft-abled!).  Included in the quilting was also the wedding day and the place.  A priceless gift.  We all cried.

Thus the tradition began of The Wedding Quilt.

Again the benefits of being the Baby - by the time my wedding rolled around, it was no longer a surprise, so I got to choose my colors.  And no, it wasn't Pink.  My all time favorite color is still blue.

But I had to wonder - Grandma and Pop had long since passed - would they be missing on my quilt?

Nooooo, they would not be missing.  My Aunt thought ahead and had them sign enough squares for all of us.  See?  There they are!!!

 Even though I knew it was coming, I still was beside myself when it actually arrived.  It is a work of art.

No, we never actually used the quilt - but we painstakingly put it on the bed every morning and folded it up every night and put it on the quilt rack.

Until the Divorce.  Who wants a Wedding Quilt with his name on it??!!

I mentioned this once and JO said, "I bet a certain sister-in-law of mine could fix that." 

On one of DF's trips through town, I mentioned it to him.  He had my kids sign squares (and my new sister-in-law who replaced a certain not-very-well-liked SIL also signed one) and took the quilt and the squares home to his bride.

I had kind of forgotten about it - I think it might have been last year? 

On his latest trip up north, DF said, "Hey come out the car - I have to get something."

And there it was - THE QUILT.

Except now?  My kids are on the quilt - with the thread and the stitching and the signature sizes exactly matching those in the same row (the miracle of computers or so DF tells me).

AND my "new" SIL is also on the quilt, replacing the rather nasty previous name.

I was so happy and so sad and so overcome, all at the same time.  I truly have an amazing, loving and supportive family - yes and then I cried.

Sadly, my Aunt and my Cousin are no longer with us, but I think they would approve of the alterations.  The Quilt is back on my bed, bringing joy to my every day, just as they intended.  And their signatures, below.

And JO I still love the message you left on my quilt!!  (I can't figure out how to turn the photo)

I also love the handprint of the niece who was too young sign. 

And somehow, Stinky Butt has figured out that THIS Quilt is not to be jumped on or burrowed under!

The Other Side of a Year

It seems like just yesterday we were saying goodbye.

Somehow I find myself back home with two kids and Chaos (not complaining!) and wondering where the year has gone.

Some striking changes: 

• Son's maturity.  Suddenly he is putting others first.  On his first full day home, he mowed both lawns (without being asked) and completed numerous other tasks.  His attention to detail and initiative is amazing.  He has always been good about helping around the house, but this was pretty amazing.
• Daughter's Diligence:  She has always been pretty organized - when she was about 7 she handed me a list one month before her birthday of people to invite, games to play, and food to serve.  But she has demonstrated a diligence to her school work and building her resume that I have never before witnessed.  Her grade point average is astounding to say the least, never mind the volunteering at the Humane Society and other volunteer activities.
• Twin Love:  I wondered how they would be separated by many miles and many hours.  When they lived home, Son was a clinger, Daughter a Loner.  Turns out they skyped/texted/called each other at least daily.  When one was in crisis, the immediate call was to the Other.  I had hoped this day would come - they sometimes did it in high school, but not often.  I am thrilled they truly love and care about each other so much.  I figured they had it in them, but I'm so happy to see it proved out.
• Children as Friends:  This is a tough one - I have always enjoyed doing activities with them, but as the parent you have to maintain the "responsible, authority figure."  The fact is, they've been away at school for a year, making decisions, staying out all night, "probably" doing slightly unlawful things.  They are not going to return home to the midnight curfew and choir boy lifestyle (ha ha I know they weren't choir boys in high school, but honestly they were pretty close).  I am trying to walk that balance of the new reality with "but you're in my house now."  This conflict of The College Student Returns Home is the Number One thing I've always heard college kids AND parents complain about - so far it is working for us - and I am LOVING hanging out with them even more!

Big changes are on the horizon, but I still can't share in the public forum yet.  Next year is sure to be rather momentous for all of us.  I can only hope that a year from now, I am again celebrating our strong bonds and our accomplishments!

When Chaos = Peace

Are you sick of hearing about my kids yet?

too bad

The other night I was surrounded by total chaos. 

It started when my cousin DF, who travels for his job, said he'd be in my area.  I love it when he can stop by, so of course I said YES. 

Then it turned out Daughter would be home.  YEAH

Then it turned out Daughter invited a couple friends to sleep over because they were going to get up Friday and drive to UDel to visit another friend.  Of course I said YES!
 
Then Daughter informed me her college friend/roommate and her sister would be in town and gee could they come by.  And sleep over.  YES!

Daughter volunteered to make dinner.  Daughter has had a few kitchen disasters in the past, but she keeps trying.  I left her with my recipe for Chicken Marsala (her favorite) which isn't totally hard but not exactly easy.  I wrote out three or four additional tidbits and tips for getting it right.  And said a prayer.  And left her an easy baked ziti recipe for her veggie friends.  I left her the credit card to go grocery shopping and asked her to make up every bed she could find. 

And I went to work.

I called at 1pm to see how things were going - friends were supposed to start coming around 3. 

She was asleep.  Napping.  Hadn't done a thing yet.  KIDS!

I got home at 6, dinner was to be at 7.  Various kids were around, helping to set the table.  Dinner was done and in the fridge waiting for a warm up.  Then she had to disappear to the metro to get yet another child.

As we called everyone to dinner, SON showed up from college!!!!  A few hours early!!  YES!!!  There was tackling on the front lawn and hoots and hollers.  And a big hug for Mama.

Then Tor Tor, high school buddy, showed up (angry with me about the For Sale sign, another story).  YES!

Not sure how many we ended up with.  The first dinner shift was 10.  Stragglers came and went all night.

After dinner, DF surprised me with my remade wedding quilt (that needs a post all its own!!)  Yes of course I cried.  duh.

Son played the piano and kids attempted to swing dance before heading to the basement for scary movies.

At about 11pm DF and I took on two of the kids in a mean game of monopoly.  All kinds of crazy rules from our childhoods - but we still managed to lose!

YES IT WAS TOTAL CHAOS - AND MY HEART FELT SUCH PEACE!!!


At 1pm, I finally had to say goodnight to DF and sadly go to BED!

5:30 am came early.  Too early.  So I went back to bed until 6 which meant scrambling to get out the door. 

It was all so worth it.  I discovered yet another kid in yet another bed that I didn't know was sleeping over.  And smiled.

The house was reasonably in tact when I got home Friday night.  And deathly quiet. Yuck.

I am so looking forward to this summer!!!!

A New Kind of Love

Some think I am a bit bizarre. But I have found at least one who shares my love.

Yes, new love, new discoveries.

I haven't come up with a name for it yet.

"Cottage Salsa"? ""Hot cottage"? "Mexican Cottage"?

Whatever you call it, I call it bliss.

Take fat free cottage cheese. Mix in medium spicey store brand (Giant) salsa (it has corn and beans in it, delectable). And eat.

Most scoff at me. One friend at work stopped laughing long enough to pick up a spoon.

I am the next Emeril. Try it. I dare you.

and oh shoosh it doesn't matter if I might have discovered this one night after quite a few drinks. It tastes good even without the tequila. So be quiet.

Today They Are Adults

Sigh today I am officially the parent of adults. But they will always be my babies.....

Happy Birthday to the Best Kids in the Universe! Love, Mom

Apparently, I did something Right

Friday in the mail I received perhaps one of the sweetest, most thoughtful, most important gifts of my life: a letter from my daughter.

She wrote me a poem about the things I mean to her and have done for her. She included an envelope decorated with her poem. The last line of the poem said, "Thank you for....." with instructions that if I ever doubted that I am "the best," I am to reach inside and grab a reminder.

Inside are many (a hundred? more?) little strips of paper that say things like, "For setting the microwave timer for 30 minutes." [that's how long they had to practice piano, whether they wanted to or not. They both LOVE to play now and are thankful for my dictatorship on that point.] Some points are recent memories, "For the multiple trips to Target to make sure my dorm room is just right." Others are distant memories or things I had even forgotten. There are general ones and specific ones, funny ones and thoughtful ones. I have resisted the urge to sit down and read them all at once. Instead I will attempt to savor her gift and reach in the bag when I'm feeling less than my best.

And of course I'll only reach in when it's safe to cry. Because this gift? Brings tears to my eyes.

Apparently, I did something right. And I give all the credit to God for the wonderful gift that is her. I know I don't deserve her, but I do thank Him for her (and my Son) every day of my life.

Oh and? I'm totally stealing this idea....


FYI this wasn't a random mailing - it was part of my birthday gift.

Refrigerator Papers have Been Replaced By Web Papers

Remember when we were kids - if you did something really well you got a "refrigerator paper" and it got hung up for all to see. With 5 kids in the house, that was quite the reward winning some real estate on the precious Fridge.

My parents still post Refrigerator Papers - these days it's a good medical report. No I'm not kidding.

I still have some of my kids' best work on my Refrigerator - a valentine they made me in Sunday School (yes in 2010...we were teaching Sunday School together!); a poem they wrote me for Mother's day in 2009.

This week I got two awesome phone calls/emails, 1 from Daughter, 1 from Son. Daughter had to read something by Aristotle then write something. Apparently the Teacher posts the reading on Wordpress and the kids respond, then they all read them and the teacher might comment. This week she only commented on ONE paper. Why yes you are RIGHT she left Daughter this comment: "Awesome!" And as a totally unbiased, neutral party, I will say there's a reason Daughter got that comment. Because while the rest of the kids were trying to figure out what Aristotle was saying (some wrote their papers on the fact that he is "outdated" and "Makes no sense," Daughter dissected it and made it understandable. God Bless her High School AP Teacher!!!!

Then Son called last night - seems in his class of 600 (600 in one classroom is why I sometimes fear his choice of school....) he submitted a slide for his Astronomy class. Kids can submit some interesting topic and the teacher chooses a few and puts them up. Sometimes they go up anonymously. Yesterday the teacher put two up anon and then said, "After this one by AU. H. no one else will want to go..." and proceeded to show Son's awesome slide on some topic he happened to notice in the Wall Street Journal that day. (I did not KNOW my son even ever HEARD of the WSJ, never mind reads it daily!!) Son was thrilled to have been called out by name and apparently received many texts from Classmates about his "awesome" slide. (I think it's an electronic slide b/c Son said something about including a video and something else he prepared). I am amazed on numerous levels here 1) He Chose to Do the Extra Credit when he's Not Even Failing! 2) He did the assignment with Zeal 3) He called his Mama to tell her about it 4) He enriches himself not just with Volleyball and Rugby [He made the Rugby team this week, too!!!] but with the WSJ!!!

They are far away, but they are where they should be. 2 weeks in and still bringing home Refrigerator Papers. I'm done bragging now. For today.... thanks for indulging me.

The Secret Men Keep

I've mentioned this once before, but Men are keeping a big secret from us. And I'm hear to blow their cover.

For years I stayed in the house, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, while Ex handled the "outside work," under the guise of "you stay inside where it's cool while I slave outside in the heat." Now I admit, I have a great vacuum, and love it almost as much as Suzy loves hers. (OK I can't find the hilarious post about her new vacuum - you'll just have to read all her funny stuff and find it!)

But nothing, oh no nothing, that I have for inside cleaning compares to the Power Tools Men Have.

They claim this is Work?? Are you kidding me? Saturday I bought myself a chain saw and tackled the tree that had fallen in my backyard weeks ago. Son was supposed to clean it up before he left, but didn't have time. So I researched, asked advice, bought the tools and cut the sucker down myself. It was so empowering! So awesome! FUN. Take that Power Tool and whack through a giant tree trunk like it's PAPER. Powerful. And no I didn't cut any of my own body parts off. Didn't even come close. (Not like when Ex was trying to cut down a tree, fell off the ladder with Chain Saw Running, fell 20 feet onto a split rail fence, which he split in 2 with his own girth, and then refused to go to the hospital.....)

Then there's the lawn. Fire up my new Toro Lawnmower - the one I bought myself to replace the pain in the a$$ mower Ex left me that you need to mix oil and gas. 2 cycle blah blah engine blah mix stuff blah. Nope my Toro you just dump in the gas and GO. Self propelled. Mulching (bagging is so passe). Do you have any idea how many calories you burn when you push mow 1/2 acre?? 374 calories an hour!! Calories burned vacuuming for an hour? 208. bah. Plus you get to be OUTSIDE in the SUN soaking up Vitamin D!

And my personal favorite - the Leaf Blower. Strap that sucker on to your back, fire it up, and blow the hell out of leaves, sticks, grass clippings. And voila! A clean back patio. Clean driveway. So much more satisfying than dusting where you have to pick up every knickknack and then vacuum afterwards.

Yes Ladies, don't be fooled by your Man. Tell him HE can do the housework. Grab those power tools and start having FUN!

Secret Momentary Delights

Some random happenings lately that have made me smile.

1. Talking to opposing counsel in Court, apologizing for my coughing, feverish sickness transmitted by kids. She says, "OH I bet you're in those daycare years, huh?" And I say, "No they are twin 17 YO's." And her look of shock.

2. Sitting in the car in the parking lot awaiting the start of Son's Rugby game b/c it's freaking freezing outside so we're waiting til the last possible second, "talking" with the Captain, and Ex walks up to the Car, right as I'm kissing the Captain.... (I didn't promise not to be a little snarky)

3. Standing in front of the Court seemingly between a rock and a hard place, when suddenly "the Spin" hits you and you're on solid footing again.

4. Your teenagers "demanding" that you go to your Parents' house for Easter - a 6 hour drive - because they miss them.

5. Your 17 YO senior announcing she has Straight A's - despite the fact that she has already been accepted to all colleges, has received a scholarship and by all rights should have a major case of senior-itis by now but that hasn't yet dawned on her.

6. Your 17 YO Daughter and Son letting down all reservations and teaching the Captain to play Kaluki (Jamaican cards) on a Friday night, complete with insults, giggles, and down right mean card playing, showing his acceptance. Finally. (Two-fer - your teenagers playing cards with you on Friday night!)

7. Your Daughter admitting she isn't very good at breaking up with her boyfriend - and you laugh together because apparently - with the Captain here for the weekend - you have the same "problem."

8. Putting the top down on the convertible in early March.

9. Sticking to your LOSE IT "iTouch" apps diet for a whole week and actually losing weight.

10. Realizing you are within 4 weeks of your Jamaican Vacation.

11. Finally finally finally teaching Stinky Butt to roll over!!!

When Not Passing a Bar is OK

Thanks to the well wishers and positive peeps out there who give me more credit than I deserve. The whole "not passing the bar" thing has nothing to do with my intelligence or lack thereof - I know I can pass a bar (unless it's having a GREAT happy hour), but I also know you really have to study. A Lot. I met lots of practicing attorneys who were there taking it the second time because, surprise surprise, they didn't have time to study the first time.

But I asked you all "why didn't I study when I had the chance?" And kudos to Suzy who hit it spot on: I simply wasn't ready.

And I think this all has to do with The Big Move, which in many ways resembles The Big Divorce. For many years I knew I wanted to be Divorced from Ex, but the actual doing part was so hard. There were kids to consider, and stuff, and moving, and splitting up, and telling people, and being an outcast and admitting certain failures, and hiring a lawyer, and filing court papers. Etc etc etc. But finally, after many years I got up the courage, set the wheels in motion, and pulled the plug.

And Now? It feels great and I know it was the right thing to do.

Looking back on the Florida Bar experience this week, I realize that just going and taking the test, even without studying, was the right thing to do. It helped me focus, made the decision more real. And now I know that I do want to pass this - I do want to make plans to move. I might not move this year or next, but I want to position myself so that when the time is right - when the job is right and it feels right with the kids - then I will be in a position to Go.

As my sister told me, "How do you eat that elephant? One bite at a time...."

Thanks Sissy.

Ridiculously Happy

It started as an idea two years ago as Daughter, Son and I spent spring break skiing in Vermont. Daughter said, "Whose Idea Was it to go SKIING for SPRING BREAK??!! BRRRRRR What were we THINKING?!"

And I said, "OK Senior Year I have you again for Spring Break. We'll go to the Caribbean."

It was a nice dream.

Then finances and college bills and the market crashed.

And layoffs at work, and salary cuts, and no raises.

But then, the tide started to turn back a little. I bumped myself to Full Time, the firm said some of us "might" get a raise, and quite frankly, I just said, "What's a little more money. They're leaving me in September!"

And so, WE ARE GOING TO JAMAICA! I am so ridiculously happy and excited. The kids helped me surf the web and look at dozens of resorts in many different countries. The trick? Finding a room for 5.

5?

Yeah, Me, the kids, and two of their friends. Because that would be more fun than just us.

And they each found a friend who could afford to come (they have to pay for their own ticket, although I'll pick up stuff in Jamaica).

Saturday night, we narrowed it down to the Right Place. Sunday I made the call.

We're locked and loaded. Praying for good health and good weather.

So ridiculously excited.

Oh and no, mom's not bringing a Friend. At least, that's not the current plan. Daughter did ask if the Captain was coming- she invited him along. That's another shocking post for another day. We're floating the idea, but both of us (the Captain and me) think that maybe it would be better to be just me and the kids. We're exploring the option and the kids' true feelings on that. Truthfully, it would be nice to have a guy along to keep tabs on the boys. The Captain is much savvier than I when it comes to certain things. But it might add a twinge of awkwardness. oh well, we'll sort that out another day.

Jamaica here we come.

First step - DIET!!!!

Woot!

"Corazon, Mi Corazon!" Coming From the Next Room

I'm working from home today, kids are home on a senior day off while the other underclassmen take PSAT's. Daughter is supposed to be writing her college application "personal statement" essay that is due TOMORROW. (Yes a bit early I know)

I'm listening to her sing and dance around her room. When suddenly it dawns on me - SHE'S SINGING IN SPANISH. Now this shouldn't surprise me. She's going to major in Spanish.

But as I sit here and listen to her singing - rapidly - in Spanish with a gorgeous spanish accent, it dawns on me deep down - my child is Fluent in Spanish. And this thrills me.

I have always wanted to be fluent in Spanish or any foreign language. We lived in Spain for 2 years and although I can "Communicate" I would not call me fluent. I don't really think in Spanish.

But my Daughter? Clearly does. She was amazing when we went so Spain this summer. But somehow the singing (effortlessly) and dancing around her room, trying to get in the right frame of mind to convince her dream school that she is worthy (and YES she is worthy! Just ask her Mom!), well, it seems like a lifetime of hoping and planning and disciplining and learning and playing and growing and experiencing - they are truly all coming together. And that makes everything so right, so worth all the effort, the pain, the struggles.

Everything.

TRYING to Notice things Like A Lunar Eclipse

While not blogging this summer I have been focusing on other things. Repositioning my mind, my spirit.

Yes stopping to smell the Roses.

Cleaning out Clutter and Closets and Crap.

(Note to all and Google and etc, I Borrowed this Google Image of Clutter, my house is not yet that bad....)

And so Tonight the Captain said, "Lunar Eclipse." Because the Captain is all stars and moons and pays attention to stuff like that. He was going to take his local crew for a moonlight sail to watch the eclipse. I was happy for him but yes a little blue because I wanted to be there not here. But Oh well. So I followed Captain's Orders and googled "lunar eclipse time washington DC" and all variations thereof, but could not figure out what time I could see the eclipse.

(Ok ok I swiped this one, too, from Google)

Then I had a brain storm, Go Outside and Look for the Moon.

And I saw clouds.

OH well, I'd rather be here anyway.....

Did Anyone Notice My Awesome Shrubs?

No No No not the pretty girl with the adorable doggies, look behind her. What do you see?

Well, to appreciate what you see, you could go find out the history of when they were merely sticks..AKA The Big Lawn Project in 102 degrees on July 4th....

If that's too much, just look below. That's what they looked like less than 2 years go.

Yeah, I'm proud of my pretty pink bushes! And yes, if you cut azaleas back to the sticks, they WILL grow back beautifully!

Seniors? really? Or "And Then I Cried All The Way To Work"

When the Kids were a tiny baby, I used to put on Aladdin's "A whole new world" and dance around the house with them. Two Tiny New babies and a whole world of possibilities. Even then I would tear up, knowing that they would grow so fast. But the possiblities? So Endless.

As they grew, I tried to enjoy every moment. Honestly I never wished for them to go back and be small again. As they outgrew baby toys, bath seats, potty chairs, training wheels, bed rails, I chucked it all as fast as I could. I did save 1 crib for that "someday grandchild." But otherwise? Most of it is all gone, on to another family who hopefully used what we no longer needed.

And as they grew, I started taking photos - the First and Last day of school photos. A Must. even when they were 3 in Spain, we took photos. When they were small it was exciting for them. the Middle school years were tough ones - grimacing, grumbling awkward kids, Son trying hard to be taller than Daughter, who had him by 3 inches. How embarassing.

And Every Year? On the First and Last Day of School? I cried. I am excited for them, happy they are growing and learning. Blessed to have wonderful, healthy, outgoing, dynamic kids. But still? I cry.

So Friday after I took their photos and waved them good-bye as they drove themselves to school, I put on Disney's Aladdin soundtrack, sang, "I can show you the world, take you wonder by wonder, over sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. " And? Yep. Cried. Like a baby.

And I hope for them they have seen some of the wonders of the world. Have I given them glimpses of a Magic Carpet Ride? Have I been a good mom? At least sometimes? And I think of the times I yelled at them, or spanked them, or denied them something that really wouldn't have made a difference, or a game I missed, or a concert. Have I been the Mom I thought I could be back in the days of dancing on the lake to Aladdin?

And then I remember the things we've learned, taught, experienced together. The laughter, the joys, the sharing, and I know I've been a pretty good mom. And they are learning and growing and turning into wonderful adults. Not perfect, no none of us are perfect. And how boring would that be anyway?

But my babies can't possibly be Seniors In High School. Or Can they? See for yourself....

The Morning Drive

A glimpse into my morning. Why? Because it makes me laugh.

Daughter driving. Me riding shotgun putting on makeup. "V" (also 16) playing dj with her IPOD. We started with the theme to Pokemon. No I am not making this up. Pokemon.

Then a song from Twilight written by paramour. Next the doobie brothers "listen to the music." All on one ipod. All chosen by one child. Meanwhile Son quizzes V with her SAT words - one I had to admit I had never heard "oevre" couldn't even pronounce it. Meaning? "complete works of an artist." OK I have learned something new today.

And the grand finale? "Crazy" by Brittany Spears plays loudly with Son doing a dance in the back seat. Oh wait, time for one more. "Africa. "

No I am not making this up. I can't imagine crazier stuff than real life.

Welcome to my morning. I will miss this next year when they drive alone....