Monday, March 14, 2011

Shortest Relationship EVER

Spoke too soon. Jinxed myself.

I've just now emerged from the mountain of self-pity on which I have been hiding.

My wife disappeared. No forwarding address. No good-bye.

Thursday 2 weeks ago I texted her - as was our routine (if you could call 2 visits a routine?). "You coming by tonight?"



That night, I got home and sent her the text, "I'm home." As was our "routine."

She lives 3 minutes away in the same development, although I'm not sure of the exact house.

She didn't come. She didn't respond. She didn't call.

I called. Texted. Repeatedly.

Finally I got worried that either she or her mother got hurt, so I called back one of her references to check and see what happened. Liz is alive and well and tending horses. She is NOT cleaning my house. Or picking up my drycleaning. Or waxing my cabinets. Or walking my dogs. Or welding Anything.

Apparantly, she decided between 10 am and 7pm that she couldn't stand the sight/sound of me ever again.

I had no idea I could achieve such negative responses from anyone so quickly. I tipped her; I chatted with her amicably; I let her pick the music station while she cleaned; I thanked her profusely and said what an amazing person she is.

Total mystery.

Do I dare stick my toe back in the waters of finding another wife? I've now been scorned by a husband and a wife. How much can one person take??