Monday, March 14, 2011

Shortest Relationship EVER

Spoke too soon. Jinxed myself.



I've just now emerged from the mountain of self-pity on which I have been hiding.



My wife disappeared. No forwarding address. No good-bye.



Thursday 2 weeks ago I texted her - as was our routine (if you could call 2 visits a routine?). "You coming by tonight?"

ANSWER: "Yes"

ME: "GREAT!"



That night, I got home and sent her the text, "I'm home." As was our "routine."

She lives 3 minutes away in the same development, although I'm not sure of the exact house.



She didn't come. She didn't respond. She didn't call.



I called. Texted. Repeatedly.



Finally I got worried that either she or her mother got hurt, so I called back one of her references to check and see what happened. Liz is alive and well and tending horses. She is NOT cleaning my house. Or picking up my drycleaning. Or waxing my cabinets. Or walking my dogs. Or welding Anything.



Apparantly, she decided between 10 am and 7pm that she couldn't stand the sight/sound of me ever again.



I had no idea I could achieve such negative responses from anyone so quickly. I tipped her; I chatted with her amicably; I let her pick the music station while she cleaned; I thanked her profusely and said what an amazing person she is.



Total mystery.



Do I dare stick my toe back in the waters of finding another wife? I've now been scorned by a husband and a wife. How much can one person take??

7 comments:

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh NO. Apparently she was not the 'one' for you.
Yes, get another...they are a dime a dozen these wives....
Ask some friends for a reference to a better, more loyal wife!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Bummer. Consider it a starter marriage.

ChiTown Girl said...

WTF?!?! That sucks. In all seriousness, how unprofessional to not even let you know she would no longer be coming. Plus, it's just plain RUDE! Screw the bitch! You don't need her! Well, ok...maybe you need her a little...NO, screw her! You'll find another, BETTER, wife!!

Dysfunctional Mom said...

What a tramp! Clearly, she wasn't ready to commit. There are plenty of fish in the sea! ;-)

TACMAC said...

I think the whole "wife" thing is soooo overrated.

Perhaps you were a bit too friendly and needed to be more of a boss. So, bring in a good "employee" and don't bring relationships into the business of running your home.

"nothing personal - only business"

(BTW, the best "wives" I have found have been men....no kidding!!)

dkuroiwa said...

okay...first of all...that was way unprofessional of her. WTF? and yes, you do need another one...think about how nice wonderful it was to come home to a clean house. you just got a crazy one. try again.
you know...if i didn't already have THIS low-paying gig, i'd come and be your wife. really. i would.

Siddharth Sangwan said...

And now what you regret more is that you let her pick her station and thank her when you cud hv done without it.. Good read.. Do drop by on http://moneyandmoksha.blogspot.com/

Some interesting reads for emotional souls like yourself... ;)