Saturday, May 30, 2009

Seniors? really? Or "And Then I Cried All The Way To Work"

When the Kids were a tiny baby, I used to put on Aladdin's "A whole new world" and dance around the house with them. Two Tiny New babies and a whole world of possibilities. Even then I would tear up, knowing that they would grow so fast. But the possiblities? So Endless.

As they grew, I tried to enjoy every moment. Honestly I never wished for them to go back and be small again. As they outgrew baby toys, bath seats, potty chairs, training wheels, bed rails, I chucked it all as fast as I could. I did save 1 crib for that "someday grandchild." But otherwise? Most of it is all gone, on to another family who hopefully used what we no longer needed.

And as they grew, I started taking photos - the First and Last day of school photos. A Must. even when they were 3 in Spain, we took photos. When they were small it was exciting for them. the Middle school years were tough ones - grimacing, grumbling awkward kids, Son trying hard to be taller than Daughter, who had him by 3 inches. How embarassing.

And Every Year? On the First and Last Day of School? I cried. I am excited for them, happy they are growing and learning. Blessed to have wonderful, healthy, outgoing, dynamic kids. But still? I cry.

So Friday after I took their photos and waved them good-bye as they drove themselves to school, I put on Disney's Aladdin soundtrack, sang, "I can show you the world, take you wonder by wonder, over sideways and under on a magic carpet ride. " And? Yep. Cried. Like a baby.

And I hope for them they have seen some of the wonders of the world. Have I given them glimpses of a Magic Carpet Ride? Have I been a good mom? At least sometimes? And I think of the times I yelled at them, or spanked them, or denied them something that really wouldn't have made a difference, or a game I missed, or a concert. Have I been the Mom I thought I could be back in the days of dancing on the lake to Aladdin?
And then I remember the things we've learned, taught, experienced together. The laughter, the joys, the sharing, and I know I've been a pretty good mom. And they are learning and growing and turning into wonderful adults. Not perfect, no none of us are perfect. And how boring would that be anyway?

But my babies can't possibly be Seniors In High School. Or Can they? See for yourself....

Friday, May 29, 2009

When Warts are Life Threatening Emergencies

If you are a 16 YO girl with a wart on your knee and are leaving for Spain for 5 weeks to hang with other teens, a wart is indeed a matter of life and death. This particular wart could ruin your entire future as you know it.

If you are a pediatrician, a wart on the knee could be approached with any number of treatments, all of which will eventually possibly remove the wart.

If you are a 16 YO girl who spent every other week in a dermatologist for 4 months trying to get the warts burned off your feet, only to have them grow back exponentially increased with a vengence, you do NOT want your knee wart burned off. You want it cut off. TODAY.

If you are a dematologist, you do not have any appointments for the next 374 days for a simple thing like a wart on a knee. Call back next year. thank you.

If you are a Mom with a precious Daughter who needs a Wart removed TODAY, you will find a way....

enter cell phones and bull sh**. Picture this:

Mother and Daughter, cell phones in hand, list of dermatologists recommended by Pediatrician in Hand, standing in Pediatrician hallway, dialing frantically for someone with an opening so that the Pediatrician can write the referral.
DAUGHTER: What do I say?
MOM: First, you tell them you're calling from the Pediatrician's office with a referral and do they take XYZ insurance. If YES, then you say you have a young woman with a history of wart issues, with a wart on the knee that is causing pain when walking. Said girl is leaving the country for the summer and needs it removed before leaving........
DAUGHTER: I'm only going to spain for 5 weeks.
MOM: No you are going "for the summer." How do you define summer after all?

DAUGHTER: It doesn't hurt when I walk.
MOM: YES IT DOES. Now call. And be convincing.

After 10 calls I opt for an appointment in 3 days where I have to pay out of pocket. What price harmony and pleasure for my daughter?
After 12 calls Daughter gets a positive hit In-Network for 5 days out. Book that, make note to cancel if get something else first.
After 15 calls Mom gets a direct hit In-Network for next day! High Fives all around.

Next day, Mother/Daughter team heads to Dermatologist.
Dermatologist is already aiming his Freezer Concoction when we stop him short. I try to explain, Daughter says, "Let me take this one mom." She explains her Wart History. She appeals to his Father-of-teenager-understanding. She looks him in the eye and says, "JUST CUT IT OFF."
Dr. looks at Mom with eyebrows raised.
Mom says, "She's the boss. Oh and she's the toughest kid you'll ever know."

Dr. does as asked. 3/4 of the way through, as Daughter has flinched not a millimeter, Dr. looks at mom and says, "Oh by the way, you weren't kidding. She's one tough cookie."

And before it was done? She insisted on looking, despite his warnings to the contrary.

The knee is blissfully wart free. And Scar free much to the amazement of the Dr. who was skeptical about cutting it off her knee.

And Daughter? Is even more psyched for her trip to Spain. As if that were even possible.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Person you call whose Life Sucks more than Yours

Sometimes when I know I'm feeling melancholy and blue about nothing that should matter, when I have trouble counting my blessings, I call someone I can count on to have a suckier life than mine. Kind of like a Suck-It-Up Slap in the Face.

Sadly that person? Is often my Brother. Now on the Life Sucks Scale-o-meter, his life isn't horribly terrible. He has a very loving wife. He has a lazy adorable 18 YO Son. He has a ginormous nosey loving extended family. He has a job. But all those things? They're just slightly off-kilter. The Son, who is adorable and brilliant and loving, lives with his conniving, manipulative, self-centered Mother, a woman who does not value truth or hard work or responsibility. Therefore, my brilliant nephew may or may not graduate high school next week. Why? He hasn't turned in his homework assignments. Is he allowed to play lacrosse and spend weekends with his girlfriend while carrying a 24% (yes I said 24%) in a class he could pass 1/2 asleep? Yep. And does his Mother lie to his father about this stuff? Yep. (My brother lives, sadly, 3000 miles away - another lie told that moved the Son away).

His job? A tough one in a tough economy- SALES. People routinely blow him off, he drives for days to make sales, he comes home tired and exhausted and doesn't get stuff done around the house. And he faces constant quota pressure among other things. His salary has taken a hit I believe - meanwhile his Ex-Wife is raking in more child support than ever because of some crazy Texas law and it really aggravates him. Not that he won't support his Son - somehow despite the thousands of dollars sent every month, the Boy shows up for the summer with no clothes that fit so they immediately have to go shopping. It's complicated and trust me, it stinks to be my Brother on this one.

And so today when I was feeling blah - been boo-hooing about the end of the school year and the kids getting older instead of looking forward to our trip to Spain. Boo-hooing about all the crap in my house that I need to de-clutter and think about moving next year instead of being thankful I have more than I need. Boo-hooing about potentially leaving a job I love to go off to some southern land instead of thanking God I have a great job I love. Yeah I called Brother. And in 5 minutes? Was thankful again to be me.

**edited to add: I do NOT just call him for these reasons - I totally adore my brother and think he has amazing qualities - for example he's a kick-butt musician and composer and there are many times I wish I could be him. But sometimes, like today, I'm glad I'm NOT!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Prom Trumps All

I had lunch with Jenn and managed to catch up briefly with Kate and Cheri, but then headed home to be with Daughter for her big day. And as much as I missed out on some conference meetings, had to rearrange major work issues, and canceled Jenn's party, there was no place on Earth I wanted to be more.

Let the "getting Ready" begin. And the STOP TAKING MY PICTURE COMPLAINTS begin, too.

Friend E begins the Hair preparations....

A little while later, we're still messing with various Hair ideas. Still Griping about Photos. But friend N is happy to give a big smile.

Friend J steps in to help with a bracelet. still Grousing about photos. Still snapping away anyway....
Ah finally we are ready - and waiting for the Boy to Arrive who is stuck in traffic on the Friday of Memorial day Weekend... SO I get the bright idea for a Mother/Daughter photo. And she even smiles for me. I forgot to suck it in....

FINALLY the Boy arrives. We go through the boutonniere pinning, the corsage exchange. And FINALLY FINALLY we get some pretty smiles. No Grousing. Boys.

And then. the Girls who made it all happen. With the Happy Couple.

Prom Night. Our Very First. I have to go cry now....

Monday, May 18, 2009

Goin' Where the Weather Suits my Clothes

once again I haven't fallen to some evil plot - just having a hell of a time here with the Captain, Friends, Family.

And tomorrow? Headed out to SAN DIEGO! Yes I am going to a conference, going to do a little moving and shaking and when that is done? Going to Hang with my Bitches!! Yep lunch with Cheri and Kate. And then Friday? Jenn is going to put up with me for Two WHOLE Days and is treating me to some awesome meeting of elephants at the Zoo. I am so ridiculously excited. She's going to wonder why she ever agreed to meet anyone in real life she's only met through blogging. Me? I have to go look through my shoes for the best pair to meet the Bitches! I should probably just go shopping....

Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Morning Drive

A glimpse into my morning. Why? Because it makes me laugh.

Daughter driving. Me riding shotgun putting on makeup. "V" (also 16) playing dj with her IPOD. We started with the theme to Pokemon. No I am not making this up. Pokemon.

Then a song from Twilight written by paramour. Next the doobie brothers "listen to the music." All on one ipod. All chosen by one child. Meanwhile Son quizzes V with her SAT words - one I had to admit I had never heard "oevre" couldn't even pronounce it. Meaning? "complete works of an artist." OK I have learned something new today.

And the grand finale? "Crazy" by Brittany Spears plays loudly with Son doing a dance in the back seat. Oh wait, time for one more. "Africa. "

No I am not making this up. I can't imagine crazier stuff than real life.

Welcome to my morning. I will miss this next year when they drive alone....

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Days Gone By and PROM

Daughter is getting ready for her first prom. A couple weeks ago we went shopping. We shopped and shopped and schlepped and shopped - unsuccessfully. And then we shopped some more. And just when we gave up? Daughter spotted a store full of long gowns. and EUREKA! A gown. A gorgeous, elegant, powder blue strapless gown with beading and a white underlay (hell I know NOTHING about fashion, but it has some white stuff under the blue skirt that you can see).

Elegant? Yes elegant. Not slutty. Not hip-hoppy. Elegant the way a prom lady should look, at least in this old-fashioned-mother's eyes.

Another shopping trip to find shoes. Well a couple shopping trips. First she wanted white shoes. But no one has white shoes. So I convinced her she wants silver shoes. Because silver goes way better than white plus I already have the perfect silver evening bag to match. So we found gorgeous strappy silver sandals. And they are adorable.

So we took the shoes and the dress to the tailor to try on for the dress to be altered. For 3 million dollars the dress will fit perfectly. mama where are you when I need you??!! and why didn't you teach me to sew?

And after the trip to the alternations lady? I dragged out my old photo albums and showed Daughter photos of me and my first prom.

My first dress? Nearly the exact same color powder blue. long. elegant. nearly strapless except for the little straps to keep it up b/c me? I had no boobs like Daughter has gorgeous boobs. My boyfriend? Totally dorky. the memories? Priceless.

We giggled over the boys, the styles, the tuxes, and? she liked my dress!!!

And then? After she left, I went through other albums. Found photos of other boys, and then - first photos of Ex.

And I realized? My feelings for Ex are pretty much the same as the feelings for my first prom date, my second prom date, my third prom date, my college boyfriends: all boys I knew once. That's all.

OK so I have a few more photos of Ex than I do of the rest of the Boys of my Past. But still? He's just a boy. A Boy I knew once.

And that? Feels good.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

And that's when I knew it was Bad

Playing along with Prompt Tuesday - and on Tuesday no Less! Well Shake Me Out and Call Me A Miracle.... For Rules of the Game see the Awesome non-PMSing San Diego Momma....

It is supposed to start with the following and be a 10 minute brain dump. I think I did it, but maybe too many words? (250) I can't count after all...

“What are you doing here?” I hadn’t thought to knock.

Aaron raised his head from the table. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine. “We need to talk.”

Talk? What's this Talk? my Brother never says more than 3 words to me. And he Never Comes Here. Ok Never's an exaggeration. Hardly Ever. So Why is he sitting at my Sister's table at this hour and - ready to "talk."

"OK So we're both here - you been here long?" What else could I say?

"Long enough," he said. Long enough for WHAT? Oh right. This is my Brother. Wait for it. Wait for it.

So I tried it his way. I pulled out the beautifully appointed mahogany kitchen chair at the high polished table (who but my Sister could pull this off? And unexpectedly at this late hour? And where is she?), sat down and waited for Him to Speak.

Then Finally, "She needs help." She - who she? My sister? my Mother? My sister-in-law? His cat? What?

"I'm sorry Bro, I'm not quite following you." Simple. Direct. To the point. And killing me, sitting here all jazzed up, brain at 240, mouth shut down to a school zone speed limit....

"Stacy." Ah at last a name. My sister. WTF? She needs help? Has he looked around here? This is my nirvana. I've always wished I could be my sister.

"Don't you ever wonder where the money comes from? How she does all this? How she has the energy for it all?" Duh Bro her husband is the leading podiatrist in the city. I think I know where the money comes from. And Stacy was always energetic.

"Still not following you Bro'" God bless me for not adding "WTF" in my out loud voice.

"I found these hiding in the toilet last time I was here a few months ago. Since then I've been watching her. Wipe that look off your face. I know you're clueless hon, but they're uppers. And she's dealing. And now? We need to talk."

Monday, May 11, 2009

When the Days and Nights are Backwards

A funny thing happened during trial - my days and nights became all days and now I can't find my nights.

I can't sleep. At least not when I'm supposed to.

Last night I bopped around the house alone (kids began their stint with Ex) and did laundry until 130 a.m. I kept telling myself to GO TO BED. I knew I had to get up at 530ish which became 6ish which became 630shitish-my-hair-is-a-disaster-and-I-have-a-big-meeting-today. But I just wasn't sleepy last night.

Even after a kickass weekend. Saturday we gardened and cleaned and ate out and went shopping and should be all tired right? Nope watched old movies til 230 a.m.

Up at 7 a.m. with the dogs, who decided rolling in Deer Poop would be a fun Mother's Day present. So before teaching Sunday School I got to bathe 2 dogs and then try to dry and brush them. Stinky? 2 minutes total all the way around. Queen Bee? I should still be brushing her. And the bathroom floor? Looked tan instead. Could not see the black tile, I kid you not. Thankfully the 16YO's finally woke up and quickly vacuumed for me.

the Rest of Mother's day was awesome - Daughter had a soccer game, I had a soccer game. I have learned to score and win and play my ass off without hurting it. This is a major accomplishment!

so when I got home at 10 pm from my game? Wasn't I tired after 4 hours of sleep the night before and a lot of "running" around? Apparently not.

So today? I fell asleep as soon as I got home from work at 5pm. And slept until 9pm. And now? I'm wide awake. Doing the project I should have done today. Oh wait, I think I'm blogging actually instead of working. Meaning tomorrow? Will be another day of 4 hours of sleep.

How do I get my nights back where they belong??!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

What Torture is This now?

Women suffer it all (in no particular order other than random): waxing, teasing, plucking, scrubbing, mud baths, depilatories, child birth, sloughing, peeling, dyes, straightening, curling, ironing, injections, and now....


Because we haven't come up with enough ways to be - um - handled? Mauled? Abused?

And you can get it done right out in the open at the mall kiosk. Yeah. That's where I like to have my personal grooming done. Right where everyone can watch. Do the nose hairs while you're at it ok?

Am I alone here or does anyone else find this slightly offensive??

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

At least the Shoes were Killer

Sometimes you just have to take comfort knowing that when all else goes down the toilet, at least you were wearing killer shoes and looking good.

After 6 days of Trial - one extra day because the sewer system in the great city of Baltimore collapsed and created havoc on the city for a week, shutting down all hotels, eateries and the Court for 1 day - we got a jury verdict. And it wasn't good. At least not for my side.

It's hard to put in 300 hours in 1 month, fall in love with your client (no not like that, I mean these are just really good, awesome people), get a rapport going with your DreamTeam and, well, the law or the jury instructions or the people or whatever, they Just. Didn't. Get. It. Were we surprised? Not really. We knew going in that this might be a tough one. Yet on another hand, we looked at it and said, "DUH - this is so simple!" But I guess it wasn't.

On the bright side? I snuck out Sunday and did power shopping. Found a carribean blue skirt suit that is, well, sharp. A little loud. But is my favorite blue color. And then. The Crowning moment. I found these:

After the trial while standing in the Courtroom waiting for the Deputy to return exhibits, the other side (all 5 of them) said, "By the way, we've all noticed and we have to tell you. Those are great shoes."

A little later, standing in front of the courthouse waiting for our car, we see Juror #1, a young, well-dressed woman who accessorizes beautifully. She asks to talk to us. I'm excited, thinking she's going to share what went on in the jury room (we can't approach them but they can ask us if they want). I explain that while I can't question her, she is free to talk to me. So she asks, "Where did you get those shoes?!"

And so? Maybe the verdict on our legal issue wasn't favorable, but the verdict on my Shoes? Pure Victory....

***Edited to add: Inquiring Minds want to know. I bought the shoes at Aldo. No not Prada. Who has that kind of money??!!