Thursday, July 26, 2012

Only a Lawyer Could Get Lost Going to Court

You may or may not know that I am severely directionally challenged.

Today I was on the other side of the law - the Juror.  Called to Jury Duty.

The instructions said arrive at 7:45.  Right.  I happen to know nothing happens in that Courthouse (or any courthouse) that involves juries before 9am.  Last time I got called to Jury Duty and actually showed up at the "appointed" time I sat for 90 minutes waiting.  So I figured I'd get there around 8ish.

I left a little later than anticipated.  So 8 would be a hustle.

But around 8 I was approaching the courthouse.  Or So I Thought.

I turned a block early to catch the better parking (forget what the jury instructions said about parking.  Amateurs.).  I looked for the parking garage I knew behind the Courthouse.  No Parking Garage.  No Courthouse.  Huh?

Drove around and around and around a few block for 10 minutes.  WTF  did they move the Courthouse?!  OK I've only been to this one once because I practice all over the state, but seriously?  I've been downtown dozens of times at an opposing lawyer's office who is right behind the courthouse....OMG he's right behind the FEDERAL courthouse and I need the STATE courthouse.  I am an idiot.  And totally blanking on where the state courthouse is.

Finally I start to panic at 8:10 and pop up the GPS.  Oh my holy hell I'm 4 blocks off and have to cross the damn bridge I've been avoiding because I thought for SURE it was on this side of the bridge.  I forget a parking garage all together, dump it at a meter out front and run in at 8:15.

I get to the Jury room, literally hundreds of people are there, sitting in the dark, staring at the dumb girl coming in 1/2 hour late, and getting all kinds of instructions.  That I'm missing.  But really? I think I know what I'm supposed to do.

So the really nice (not kidding) woman from the clerk's office asks me about my parking ticket validation.  I say, "Oh I'm at a meter."  And a look of horror crosses her face as she informs me a meter won't do as I'll likely be there ALL DAY.  Then I have to admit.  "OK I'm a lawyer, totally directionally challenged and couldn't find the juror parking garage."

So she hands me THIS:

And there it is, in giant letters and arrows, how to go around the block and magically find the juror parking garage.  At least I'm not the first person who couldn't find the juror lot.

But this kind lady takes it one step further.  She points to the windows, orients me behind the map in the proper geographic position and says, "HERE is where we are, HERE is where your car is HERE is where the garage is."  GO!

Only a lawyer like me could get lost going to the Courthouse.

And of course I spent the whole day there and did not get picked for a jury.  Which I would have LOVED.  Hell I didn't even get as far as a jury PANEL.


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Back And Ranting! Tragedies All Around

I doubt there's anyone out there still reading, but the events of this past week have awakened my need to write...and to rant. I can't promise I'll stay, but I'm thinking writing is a good thing for me so maybe I will!

I cannot imagine a single American who hasn't been touched by the Colorado Tragedy.  I find myself scouring the online news for information about every single victim, especially those killed.  I want them to be remembered, I want their names and their accomplishments to live on forever.  I hope they never, ever print another word about the purported "Human" who did this.  Don't care about him, don't want to give him a second of any kind of "fame."  But the people involved?  They need recognition.  And rememberance.

And so, I read, and click, and watch, and cry.

And then, I see it.  Stories of CHILDREN at the movie.  No, I have not seen the movie.  But I have seen other Batman movies.  And they are violent.  And they are rated PG-13.  That's right PG-13

Why in the HELL would someone think it is appropriate to take a 4 year old or a 6 year old to a violent PG-13 movie?  Never mind the MIDNIGHT showing?

I think back to the last movie I did see in the theater (I rarely go - too cheap to pay all that money to fall asleep....).  The Captain and I saw Hunger Games.  We had read all the books.  I didn't really want to see the movie - the books were far too violent for me and gave me nightmares, despite the fact that yes I did think they were relatively good books (obviously - I read all 3 in 5 days).  But my large family convinced me the movie was well done and "not that violent."


Not that violent?  Kids getting killed left and right?  OK so maybe they don't actually show the kid getting killed.  See kids running.  See kid getting chased.  See attacker carrying large, sharp object.  See kid on ground not moving with blood everywhere.

That's not violent?

OK but I'm an adult who went to the PG-13 movie.

Someone explain to me what could possibly be right about 5 and 8 year old little boys going to a movie like that????  I about ripped their Dad's head off and reported him for child abuse, but the Captain steered me clear of such a confrontation.  (Besides, such actual violence would have been even worse for the kids).

Apparently too many parents lack any kind of judgment.  And therefore I propose that not only do movies have rating restrictions, but also that the restrictions apply without parental override.  Well, ok, maybe moderate override.  Such as, "PG-13, under 13 not admitted without parent, under 10 not admitted under any circumstances."  Same goes for R movies. 

Children are like a fine paella, cooking and maturing, adding ingredients at the right time.  If you just dump everything in all at the same time, they won't turn out right.  You have to prepare them for some of the ingredients and add them when they are ready to receive them.

I think I just have to stay away from movies.  Because the next time I see an inappropriately young child at a movie like that, I WILL confront the parent.  And probably get arrested.