I hate cheap toilet paper. I hate going potty at work or anywhere that has cheap toilet paper. I thought companies bought cheap toilet paper because they were, well, CHEAP.
I never understood why grocery stores sold cheap toilet paper. Who bought that stuff? And Why? My butt hurt just thinking about buying cheap toilet paper.
Until The Other Day. Now I am ENLIGHTENED.
The Other Day my basement had a minor flood. It would have been a major flood but I got lucky and made a trip to the basement right after my shower and saw the water coming up through the floor in the overflow drain. HUH?
I suspected the main sewer pipe might be backed up, so I had Son go upstairs and flush the [clean] toilet. Sure enough, water came bubbling up through the floor drain.
HElllllooooo RotoSewerCostMe$600andmyleg Company. They came out quickly, unplugged the drain, sent out two sweet 40-something camera men to snake a camera down my pipe (sounds kind of...well, you know. My mom reads this and so I have to stop right there)...and show me how my sewer pipe just might do this again.
One nice cute RotoCamera man said, "So what kind of toilet paper do you use?" Hell of a pickup line. But I had such a high class answer! "Why Charmin of course honey." And what does he say? "Oh no honey, that's a plumber's dream. Keeps me in business. You need to buy yourself that cheap stuff. The big, fat, soft fluffy stuff doesn't dissolve in the pipes which causes these backups. Better get yourself some recycled thin stuff."
Please tell me he was kidding.
Nope, he was not. He said if I didn't switch, I just might have to spend $7,000 to get new pipes laid (something about my 40 year old pipes being all gnarly on the inside and snaggy and catching the not-quite-dissolved paper. Quite frankly it all sounded a little too personal and I just might resemble some of those comments....)
Anywhoooo, next trip to grocery store, I dutifully went to the TP aisle and bought, gasp, the Store Brand. And put it in the Kids' bathroom. The Good Stuff will stay in my bathroom where I can use it, throw it in the trash can, and take the can outside every night. Totally worth the trip.