Sunday, February 13, 2011

I FOUND A WIFE!!!!!

I am truly, deeply and profoundly happy.

Today I found a wife.

For years I have been lamenting that I do not have a wife.

The men I work with don't vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms, do laundry, mail packages, take dogs to vets, pick up drycleaning, go grocery shopping or do any of the mundane tasks I do in ADDITION to being a lawyer. They are just lawyers.

For years I have had to explain why I need to come in to work late, "Because I don't have a WIFE!"

That all changed today.

Liz came into my life today. She lives in the neighborhood, has great references, is competent, articulate, funny, loves my dogs, and asked permission to move the furniture when she vacuums so she can get the baseboards. Um, YES?!

For a mere $15/hour, Liz will do it all: clean, shop, run errands, take care of my dogs, do yardword, weld (yes I said weld - weld what I don't know - whatever needs welding I suppose), spackle, paint, fix stuff. She is the perfect wife.

Actually, she's even better. I don't even have to sleep with her.

14 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Woo hoo!! I'm totally jealous!!

Amy said...

Wow! I need one of those too!

Gigi said...

Ummm, is she willing to work in North Carolina???

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

If she welds she's a better wife than I am!

Congratulations!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom!® said...

I an in love with Liz.

Feisty Irish Wench said...

that is just awesomesauce!!

JO said...

Jealous. TOTALLY JEALOUS.

Katy said...

Does she have a sister in Seattle? I seriously need a wife too. Congrats!!! :)

dkuroiwa said...

you know....maybe you and your wife need to take a vacation to somewhere exotic and totally cool. i can think of a place.....you know....here!

ModernMom said...

Ha ha. She sounds perfect. Every hard working woman needs a wife!

Bookwoman said...

I've wanted a wife for years! Liz sounds like a jewel. Wish I lived in the same neighborhood.

Tracey Axnick said...

Wow... would she come to Atlanta?
I could keep her busy for MONTHS! (In fact, I've told my husband.. "I used to think the women in the Old Testament were crazy to allow their husbands to have concubines. Now I realize that they were GENIUS!")

:)

Larry P said...

I never thought I would type these words in a blog comment. Nope. Not once even in a million years. But, here goes....

How do you feel about wife swapping?

No, that doesn't have the right tone. Besides, I am no longer married. How about....

How do you feel about wife sharing? :D

TAG

Right On The Glitteros said...

HAHA i'm new on blogger, and just sort of clicking around other peoples blogs
i'm 18 and find your blog to be funny, fresh and original.
Found the liz story very cute, who doesn't need a live in welder these days?
Check out my blog, and keep writing cus i'll be checking hahah