Thursday, February 3, 2011

Crawling Out from Under My Rock

She's baaaaack. Well a little anyway.

Where did she go? Well it's kind of like I went to find myself. And I couldn't blog about it because I didn't want to hurt some of the people who read my blog and I didn't want to share with others who read my blog (strange, because this started as the place I could say Whatever to Whomever. But then PEOPLE find out and, well, you have to THINK about your audience!)

So here's what it looked like:

  • The Captain and I took a little breather. I discovered he's NOT a rebound, I DO love him, and we need to figure out how to live closer to each other geographically;
  • Although I love my job, I need to figure out if my job loves me - does it let me be me? It sure pays the bills. I have choices. This is a tough one.
  • I am moving. Come May my house is going on the market. I am either moving closer to my job in DC into a smaller house with a doggie door and a fenced in yard OR chucking it all and moving to Florida. As the job market isn't so hot, I have a feeling it will be DC.
  • I have to figure out how not to miss my kids quite so much. I loved loved loved having them home at Christmas. EX didn't want to set a schedule and let the kids go where they wanted. They wanted to be here. A lot. I loved it! But when they left in January the tears started again. I just miss them. Texts, facebook, emails, calls, Skype, it's not enough. I miss the piano going 24/7 and the jokes and the dishes in the sink and the laughter and the yelling and impromptu movie night. Things will never be the same. I am trying to figure out how to embrace that. So far, it's not going all that well.
  • I need to get control of my body and my physical well-being. I was working out, eating well, feeling great until Dec 21. Then I got a cold and an infection and the cough from hell. I've gained the 10 pounds I lost and can't shake the crud. I need to Run Every Day, regardless of the hour. I hate being fat and out of shape.

There's a lot of other stuff swirling in my head. I worry about my parents all the time. They are so awesome and such an incredibly important part of my life, even though they live 340 miles away. I wish I could get them to come down here and live with me. Better yet, I wish they would move to Florida with me. I want to put them someplace safe and cook them dinner and chat with mom until all hours of the night and watch sports with Dad and tease him about his teams. I want to get my mom moving again and see if we can't get her to feel better. I want to get my dad away from behind the wheel of the car. In reality they are home where they are - they've lived in that house since I was born and I know it would be hard to get them out. I have a brother and two sisters within a mile of them, so it's not like I'm their only option. But I left 23 years ago and I really want to figure out a way to spend more time with them.

There have been a million blogable moments in the last two months. I am sorry I didn't capture them.

I will try to blog more often. Work is insane right now, which makes me very happy. I went to bed last night at 6am this morning and slept for 2.5 hours and I am still up tonight waiting for my turn at the brief that is due tomorrow. I have all the associates emailing me with questions/follow-up/assignments. We have a great team and I love being busy. But sleep would be nice, too.

If anyone is still reading this blog, thanks! I do promise to be back a little more often.


Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It sounds like you've been pretty busy inside your own head.

Welcome back!

ChiTown Girl said...

Aw, Cookie, it's SO great to see you popping your head up long enough to let us know you're ok. Keep us updated as much as you can and/or feel comfortable doing. We miss you. :(

JO said...

Welcome back. I hear you. I understand you. I am sending hugs to you.

dkuroiwa said...

welcome back....and need to take care of YOU first and foremost. all that other stuff will fall into place...but you are the most important right now.
Get healthy...get some sleep.
{{hugs}} from me too....and don't worry about us...we'll be here when you need us!!!

Navhelowife said...

Welcome back!

Dysfunctional Mom said...

This is why I love my google reader...I never take people out, that way when they pop back up, it lets me know!
It's good to "see" you again. I hope you're about to figure out a plan that makes you as happy as possible!
My oldest will be 18 next month (ack!) but I still have young ones at home, my youngest is 10. The thought of any empty next is something I just can't entertain yet!

Bookwoman said...

Really glad you're back - I missed you. I know - I'm not much of a commenter, but I am a reader. Lots going on for you right now; take care of yourself and we'll be here.

Robin said...

It's very nice to hear from you again. Thank you for your blog.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I am glad you are still 'there'. Or here?
Sorry about all the missing of the kids and parents. Some transitions seem kinda sucky don't they.
I wish you did not have to work so hard....perhaps a move would be a very good blessing in your life.

DF said...

I can kind of understand where you are. I cam home last weekend from two solid weeks of traveling, a solid week in Boston, then all over Northern PA for another week, home only Sat and Sunday AM in between. When I came home last Friday, Kathy says, we are going to Asheville, I have to get out of this house. So we went go Asheville. With A and C at college and really not coming home, it is quiet for Kathy around the house.

Cristy said...

glad your back!