Where did she go? Well it's kind of like I went to find myself. And I couldn't blog about it because I didn't want to hurt some of the people who read my blog and I didn't want to share with others who read my blog (strange, because this started as the place I could say Whatever to Whomever. But then PEOPLE find out and, well, you have to THINK about your audience!)
So here's what it looked like:
- The Captain and I took a little breather. I discovered he's NOT a rebound, I DO love him, and we need to figure out how to live closer to each other geographically;
- Although I love my job, I need to figure out if my job loves me - does it let me be me? It sure pays the bills. I have choices. This is a tough one.
- I am moving. Come May my house is going on the market. I am either moving closer to my job in DC into a smaller house with a doggie door and a fenced in yard OR chucking it all and moving to Florida. As the job market isn't so hot, I have a feeling it will be DC.
- I have to figure out how not to miss my kids quite so much. I loved loved loved having them home at Christmas. EX didn't want to set a schedule and let the kids go where they wanted. They wanted to be here. A lot. I loved it! But when they left in January the tears started again. I just miss them. Texts, facebook, emails, calls, Skype, it's not enough. I miss the piano going 24/7 and the jokes and the dishes in the sink and the laughter and the yelling and impromptu movie night. Things will never be the same. I am trying to figure out how to embrace that. So far, it's not going all that well.
- I need to get control of my body and my physical well-being. I was working out, eating well, feeling great until Dec 21. Then I got a cold and an infection and the cough from hell. I've gained the 10 pounds I lost and can't shake the crud. I need to Run Every Day, regardless of the hour. I hate being fat and out of shape.
There's a lot of other stuff swirling in my head. I worry about my parents all the time. They are so awesome and such an incredibly important part of my life, even though they live 340 miles away. I wish I could get them to come down here and live with me. Better yet, I wish they would move to Florida with me. I want to put them someplace safe and cook them dinner and chat with mom until all hours of the night and watch sports with Dad and tease him about his teams. I want to get my mom moving again and see if we can't get her to feel better. I want to get my dad away from behind the wheel of the car. In reality they are home where they are - they've lived in that house since I was born and I know it would be hard to get them out. I have a brother and two sisters within a mile of them, so it's not like I'm their only option. But I left 23 years ago and I really want to figure out a way to spend more time with them.
There have been a million blogable moments in the last two months. I am sorry I didn't capture them.
I will try to blog more often. Work is insane right now, which makes me very happy. I went to bed last night at 6am this morning and slept for 2.5 hours and I am still up tonight waiting for my turn at the brief that is due tomorrow. I have all the associates emailing me with questions/follow-up/assignments. We have a great team and I love being busy. But sleep would be nice, too.
If anyone is still reading this blog, thanks! I do promise to be back a little more often.