The Secret Men Keep

I've mentioned this once before, but Men are keeping a big secret from us. And I'm hear to blow their cover.

For years I stayed in the house, vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, while Ex handled the "outside work," under the guise of "you stay inside where it's cool while I slave outside in the heat." Now I admit, I have a great vacuum, and love it almost as much as Suzy loves hers. (OK I can't find the hilarious post about her new vacuum - you'll just have to read all her funny stuff and find it!)

But nothing, oh no nothing, that I have for inside cleaning compares to the Power Tools Men Have.

They claim this is Work?? Are you kidding me? Saturday I bought myself a chain saw and tackled the tree that had fallen in my backyard weeks ago. Son was supposed to clean it up before he left, but didn't have time. So I researched, asked advice, bought the tools and cut the sucker down myself. It was so empowering! So awesome! FUN. Take that Power Tool and whack through a giant tree trunk like it's PAPER. Powerful. And no I didn't cut any of my own body parts off. Didn't even come close. (Not like when Ex was trying to cut down a tree, fell off the ladder with Chain Saw Running, fell 20 feet onto a split rail fence, which he split in 2 with his own girth, and then refused to go to the hospital.....)

Then there's the lawn. Fire up my new Toro Lawnmower - the one I bought myself to replace the pain in the a$$ mower Ex left me that you need to mix oil and gas. 2 cycle blah blah engine blah mix stuff blah. Nope my Toro you just dump in the gas and GO. Self propelled. Mulching (bagging is so passe). Do you have any idea how many calories you burn when you push mow 1/2 acre?? 374 calories an hour!! Calories burned vacuuming for an hour? 208. bah. Plus you get to be OUTSIDE in the SUN soaking up Vitamin D!

And my personal favorite - the Leaf Blower. Strap that sucker on to your back, fire it up, and blow the hell out of leaves, sticks, grass clippings. And voila! A clean back patio. Clean driveway. So much more satisfying than dusting where you have to pick up every knickknack and then vacuum afterwards.

Yes Ladies, don't be fooled by your Man. Tell him HE can do the housework. Grab those power tools and start having FUN!

Graduation means....Painting the Furniture?

The Captain came up the morning after the Prom and was promptly put to work. Yet another step into our relationship and another endearing quality. He scrubbed my Patio for 2 hours. Then he helped me paint the lawn furniture. This was a white table that I bought with Ex, oh, 18 years ago?

Ex and I also bought about 10 pieces of Wrought Iron furniture - used - about 5 years ago. We painted it all . Some are pictured below. (the magic of spray over rust paint I love it)

All the chairs were wet so we dragged some kitchen chairs outside for dinner....
(I had painted the table the previous year so it just needed touchups and we could eat on it)

And gave a toast to a job well done!

Whew. Oh yeah, and we did some gardening first....Told you he was an awesome guy....

Yes I Know Spring Arrived - a While Ago

My few faithful blogging buddies have cajoled me into changing my banner to spring. I admit I am relying on an old banner as - SURPRISE - I have not had time to garden, clean, do any of the things I would like to do! Yes I am working full time now, travelling too much for work, and picking up stomach flu's on the way home from travelling too much for work. Which means I am behind on my work. Which means I should be working not blogging. Anyway...

We are less than a month from D-DAY. Or should I say G-Day - Graduation day. I know it's "only high school," but this is a huge deal for me. Yes I said for me. OK OK it's huge for them, too, but they won't realize it for, oh, 25 years. My babies are leaving, going off to great schools to do great things and someday have a great job and be totally self sufficient so that I can go tend bar in the Caribbean and not have to support anyone but myself.

But for now, they are just leaving. And I am going to miss them. And I feel some [probably silly] burning desire to make this send off as excellent as I can. I refrained from saying "perfect." Nothing is ever perfect. But family, friends, a cool cake, some good food, music, a slide show, a repainted kitchen, repainted hall, repainted bedroom, cleaned windows, uncluttered closets, weeded gardens, new flowers, seeded grass, new college-themed dog collars, cleaned carpets, that's all it will take to pull off graduation weekend.

What? Think there are a few extra things in there maybe? I am the kind of person who needs an "EVENT" to make the chores of life happen. Son's room has needed painting for a YEAR and has been spackled awaiting paint for A YEAR. The painters come tomorrow....

You get the picture.

Anyone else out there need an EVENT to get the ball rolling on household projects??

Oh right - I almost forgot to add to the list "Buy 100 boxes of Kleenex." I'm not the only crier in the family...

Did Anyone Notice My Awesome Shrubs?

No No No not the pretty girl with the adorable doggies, look behind her. What do you see?

Well, to appreciate what you see, you could go find out the history of when they were merely sticks..AKA The Big Lawn Project in 102 degrees on July 4th....

If that's too much, just look below. That's what they looked like less than 2 years go.

Yeah, I'm proud of my pretty pink bushes! And yes, if you cut azaleas back to the sticks, they WILL grow back beautifully!

He Really Did That!

We've been experiencing some "weather" around here lately. Weather that brings down limbs and branches and trees.

Last week I had a ginormous limb in the back yard. Like 20 or 30 feet long. Thankful it didn't fall near the house or any other stuff. No damage. Just mess. I finally got around to cutting the rather tall grass in the front yard and picking up some of the larger sticks. Not my favorite job, the picking up sticks thing. Unless I can throw them in the yard next door. Wait, that would be mean. OK so I don't do that. But I think about it. Besides, Ex was out in his yard while I was mowing and picking up sticks, which precluded the throwing part. Even though NO he didn't see me and I am apparently invisible. What great superpowers I have! even with the loud lawnmower running, I am completely and totally unnoticable.

Nope, acted like there was nobody over here. I waved anyway.

After mowing, I went out back and I looked hard at that limb, but it didn't get up and walk away. I yanked on it - that was dumb and just hurt my back. Hmmm. Going to need a chain saw. Some mancake handyman teenagers. Time. Ugh. Put that on "tomorrow"'s list. Time to go to Daughter's soccer game, then my game, then bed.

Monday morning I got up and looked out my back window at the puppies - and noticed the limb was gone. The yard miraculously clean. No f'en way. Because Son was with me at soccer, so he didn't do it. And Captain lives 1000 miles South, so he didn't do it. No f'en way.

I texted Son to make sure he didn't do it. Nope.

So I wrote the gagiest, sickly sweet nicest email to Ex inquiring as to whether he cleaned up my yard and how nice it was and how busy I know he is and gee wasn't that swell of him. OK I didn't say swell. OH and b/c he'd ignore my email unless I required a response (and still he might ignore it anyway) I said, "And if you didn't do it, please tell me so that I can find and thank the person who did me the wonderful favor."

The response? "I removed the limb given it fell from my parent's tree."

That.Was.All. well, hey he removed the limb. And I said, "thank you again."

NO MEMORIES TODAY

Memory Monday has been interrupted by technical and general difficulties.

Things currently going wrong in my home/life:

• Computer has wicked spyware viruses (Although my cousin DF may have sent me a few ideas to fix it - but I need a couple hours apparently to finish the job. Sigh)
• Living room ceiling is leaking - kids' bathroom is flooding and I need to get BossMan's repair man over to fix this. What's that I hear? The sound of money going down the drain?
• New Puppy has been hijacked by EX. He now has 3 dogs, and I have none. OK It's Daughter's new puppy, but we were going to keep her at my house. Yes I know it's best for Daughter if puppy travels with her so that Puppy can actually be HER puppy (see new photo in sidebar) AND it actually works better for me to have no dog when I have no kids (I travel a LOT), BUT I JUST WANT TO WHINE A BIT HERE AND BE A BRAT! He trumped me by saying, "Oh you can bring her over here when you're here) He stole my puppy. Not technically correct, but I'm just going to leave that one out there for now.
• My Pilot/SUV has the "Maintenance required" light on full time and is overdue for repairs.
• My convertible with just 17,000 miles on it is making chunking noises and has a ding in the back fender by some nasty DC parker (no for once I didn't back into anything....) and while all of the above is covered by warranty/insurance, I still have to find the time to deal with it.
• Is it any wonder my face has broken out in nasty cysts? Oh no, I don't get just normal acne, I get the cyst variety. Yes I get these under stress and they are genetic (my oldest brother gets them, too). There is nothing but time to make them go away. Indeed, the more you try to do something about them, the worse they get. Gee, just in time for a visit to see Friend, too. He will go running and screaming in the other direction.
• My roof leaks when it rains and the wall in the office (where the water runs down the chimney) is crumbling. We have had 2 separate roofers in the past few years try to fix this. Can I find the paperwork/receipts for this? Nooooooo. Time to spend another $3000 on someone else who won't be able to fix it.....
• My plants in my window boxes on the far right insist on dying. I have replanted twice. Can't figure it out. Yes I've tried new dirt and everything. The other three are perfect. Perhaps we will just have 3 boxes this year...
• There is an unknown fungus growing in my front garden. Again, likely fixable if I could find the time.

So Memory Monday became "want some cheese with that whine?"

Feels better just to get it out there...

On the bright side:

• I'm going to see Friend in a few days
• I'm very busy at work
• I got to see my parents and most of my family this past weekend
• the puppy is a great traveler and was good in Gram's house
• Daughter is ridiculously happy and responsible with new puppy
• Son is happy with puppy even though he wasn't involved in the picking out and arrived home from vacation to discovery puppy (I was worried about this - even though it is Daughter's 16th birthday present)
• BossMan has a great handyman who will work for me and fix all my house problems and is reliable
• I have a great mechanic who is trustworthy and reliable who can fix my cars
• If I put a little effort into it, I will remember that God is with me - everywhere every time in every place and hears me and He will get me through. My Faith is a wonderful gift.

OK feeling even better now. Thanks!

Still Keeping Up With the Jones..

Remember the story of the Determined Lawn Girl? Well, I have gotten used to mowing the lawn, and yes, I still find it fun. And great exercise. And I can do the whole front in minutes flat (God Bless my chemlawn man who told me not to bag and to let the grass clippings send nutrients back to my lawn. ILY lawnman). AND I am happy to report that the planting is done and almost all the mulching is done. And I can get really really dirty ....

Yeah that's a good 8 hours of 80+ degree hot, sweaty, dirty me! So gross Daughter came by and said, "Hey mom, clean up. And I don't mean the House. You're disgusting..." THANKS FOR NOTICING!

NO that's not razor burn, razor stubble or razor anything. It's a giant scratch from the new rosebushes. I don't remember getting it - my body looks like I was attacked by a CAT! My arms, my legs. cool. And that's dirt where a white sock and shoe once stood.

Now when I pull up to the house, there's a happy basket on my pole and flowers all around. And leetle tiny alyssum growing growing growing....

The boxes of wave petunias on the catwalk are starting to cascade after only 2 weeks! and there are 2 new rosebushes (but I didn't get a closeup and I don't have photoshop to draw funky arrows...). And mulch. and containers by the front door of (gasp) yellow (not pink!) petunias!

And finally, 3 flats of impatiens around the cherry tree in the back. plus pots and containers of flowers. And a freshly blown off patio free of debris, sticks, mud, etc. Love that blower. Just some mulching around this tree and I. Am. Done. Oh, then I get to start attacking the weeds, planting some grass seed, clipping the hedges, painting the iron furniture that's rusting....

But you know what? I DID IT MYSELF (daughter did help with some initial planting a couple weeks ago). And I love that. So Much. maybe next summer I'll be looking for help, but this year, it feels so tremendous to JUST. DO. IT. and not have to explain why or ask permission or any-thing...