Wednesday, March 18, 2009

And That's When I Knew "He Gets Me"

Having one of the many chats a day with the Captain. And he's telling me about one of his Friends, a woman who was once married. It didn't work out and she's lamenting her current state - not sure about dating, not sure about love, not sure about relationships.

And so he tells me, like he's talking to her, how they start talking about long distance relationships. He explains how ours works. And why it works. Yeah it's tough sometimes, but then again, it has its benefits. He's got his job and his responsibilities, his kids, and I have my job, my kids, my responsibilities. We can live our own lives, we share with each other in bits and pieces throughout the day, and when our schedules align we share time together. Yeah sometimes it would be nice to be in the same zip code to grab dinner or a movie or a walk in the park. But the relationship goes so much deeper than convenience or a body/placeholder for social events. She just couldn't grasp it. So he said, "What do you want - to be in a relationship or do you want to be married? Because we tried that. It didn't work. We don't want to try that again. This works. We don't question it."

He just sort of blurted that whole last thing out. I laughed. And said, "Yeah I get that."

I have tried to explain this concept to So. Many. People. So Many People "ASSUME" we must get married, or live together, or move or something. But Us? We are happy with the way things are. Today. Tomorrow. And hopefully the day after that.

This is why what we have Works. He gets it. We get it. We can't seem to explain it to anyone else - to friends, to family, to coworkers. I can't even articulate it here. But maybe I don't have to. Because? He gets me.


Busy Bee Suz said...

I get it. You don't have to be married to be happy.
If something were to happen to my marriage....I may not get married again either.
I really don't get it unless you plan on having kids together...that part I think is good for the "family value" aspect. what works.
If it ain't broke...don't fix it.
you guys are perfect for each other...very lucky.

3 Peas in a Pod said...

I get it too. Don't worry about explaining it to other people. If you're happy the way things are then that's what's most important. Different strokes for different folks. Live and let live. Marriage ain't all it's cracked up to be anyway!!! :-)

Much love from NJ,

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

It sounds to me like you are enjoying the present moment. And, if the present moment is really all there is (God, I sound like Eckhart Tolle,, don't I? Gah.), then you're doing it just right.

Besides, as "holy grail" as some people make marriage out to be in a relationship, some days marriage blows. (That did not sound Tolle at all, did it? Ahhhhh.)

ChiTown Girl said...

Hey, I'm with Suz. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!! And, you certainly don't owe ANYONE an explaination. If you are both happy, that's all that matters.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

If it works for you, that's all that matters! I'm glad you are happy.

zelzee said...

I get it.

I really do.

hulagirlatheart said...

Yeah, I get it. Why do so many folks think things have to be a certain way? I say live and let live.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

It sounds like you've figured out what works for you--and that is something huge.

~annie said...

Oh. Wow. I get it, too! Mostly because this is the kind of relationship I've had the last few years. In my weaker moments I sometimes wonder...all sorts of things. Glad you share this.

sista #2 said...

I get it.


dkuroiwa said...

Why do people always want to change other peoples' lives to be what THEY want?
How lucky you are to be in a relationship that is what it is. Happy? That's what matters. If people don't understand our relationships, then....meh. no biggy. You get it...he gets's all good.