Friday, March 13, 2009

And then I clicked Yes but I knew Better...

I work in the infomercial industry - you know, 1-800-buy-my-stuff. Yes they need lots of lawyers. It's not the only kind of industry I do, but I know enough to know better than to buy that stuff. The marketers make a TON of money. Some of it works. Most of it doesn't.

Then I was home on the couch with my laptop and spoiled dogs, nursing my pussy-eyed, sinus-infected, sickly teenage son, surfing the infomercials looking for one in a current lawsuit. And I came upon the 10 minute trainer. 10 minutes a day and lose a jean size in 10 days. I scanned the fine print (I know all the rules on testimonials). I ignored the "upsells." I surfed the web for additional promo coupons or discount sites. I watched the darn thing - watched the producer who makes these infomercials all the time supposedly get sucked in to this one and try it. And of course now he has awesome abs.

The premise makes sense - stacking your workout to work multiple parts of the body at the same time.

I surfed the web and read comment boards. Dang. It seems to work. People admitted in order to lose weight and have the results on TV you have to do more than 10 minutes - for advanced results they recommend doing 3 of the 10 minute workouts a day. And duh you need to eat less. A lot less. But you can lose inches without starving yourself.

And you know what? I can find 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a day.

Something has to change. Because nothing fits. Nothing. My eating habits are horrid. My jeans do not fit. My fat jeans don't fit. My fatter, sweatpants, please-don't-let-anyone-see-me-in-these sweatpants don't fit. I don't dare wear any of my suits without Spanx.

Summer is coming. Fast. Soccer season is coming. Fast. And I can't get motivated. I've never had so much trouble!

So Tony? You and your 10 minute Trainer better get here in 5 days as promised. Because I am in need of a trainer and you are as close as I'm going to get.

Maybe in memory of the great A** Project that obviously got derailed, I will keep a counter on my blog when I start, take some stats, and see if this thing works. After all, it does have a 30 day moneyback guarantee!!

10 comments:

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

You crack me up.

It makes me want to dust off my never-used Wii Fit.

I should be spanked, not Spanxed.

Busy Bee Suz said...

Too funny.
Hey, it may just work. Let us know....
I need something too cause all my stuff is also too small right now.
I can't even blame it on my dryer...just girl scout cookies.

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

My fat jeans stil fit....exercise eh no never mind! LOL Good Luck!

Laura said...

You are now the infomercial...tell how it works for you!

hulagirlatheart said...

I find trying on last year's swimsuit in February is a great motivator for exercise. Brutal, but great.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I was skeptical of the Magic Bullet, but now I can't live without it. Let me know how this goes.

blognut said...

Yuck! Fat jeans suck. Yeah, I'm wearing them right now, but they still suck.

Holy Crappers said...

Please let us know if it works, I'm a cow and I need help

#1

J.G. said...

My dad used to say, "Trouble comes in bunches like bananas." Sounds like you found a happy ending to a difficult week. Can't wait to hear all about the magic bullet.

P.S. I was a little behind in my reading, so thnx for the clarification of "pussy-eyed." :-)

Margo said...

I can relate! I have a life coach and she's helped me with a lot of this stuff. She's got a great blog and webpage I'll send you the links to if you want. She's kind of the anti-informercial, in that it's work, but that the important work is internal. Sounds woo-woo, but really working :)