I joke about it, hell I centered the whole freakin' blog around it, but truth is I hate the freakin' fact that he lives next door. I hate that he's in my life. I hate that I am where I am. And it pisses me off more than it did when we were married that the kids blew off Mother's Day and he let them.
When we were married, they didn't do much for mother's day. He always said, "You're not my mother." Oh he'd get them up to help make the obligatory breakfast in bed. And I enjoyed that. Ex actually makes the best french toast in the universe. But considering he insisted on serving my favorite with the glass of OJ that he knows makes me vomit...well.
This year, weeks before Mother's day, I reminded the kids that it was coming. Weeks. Every chance I got. Daughter is a planner, I know. She takes after someone of the same gender who lives with her every other week...
So When Mother said, "Hey, Mother's day is in ____amount of time___" Daughter responded, "What do you want?" Of course I responded, "Peace on Earth...barring that, I'm easy. Bath gels, or some Tommy Girl which you can even buy at Target, or any book because you know I love to read, or a candle." Lots of options easily purchased at places they frequent. And I added, "You know Dad won't volunteer to take you - you'll have to ask to go shopping...."
Mother's day arrived, Daughter was sick with fever of 102, son the slacker slept in.
To his credit, Son installed my garage door opener. Spent many hours on it. And It was an awesome mother's day present. And I thanked him. A lot. repeatedly. Son is NOT a planner and never gets anyone presents on time. So I didn't think he would've bought me anything. And I really really really continue to appreciate the garage door opener.
But Daughter? My planner? The one who was out shopping numerous times just prior to the day? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. And I know she was upset she was sick on Mother's day. She said that we'd have a "do-over" day next time she stayed with me. Which she didn't do. And she's been here twice since Mother's day, and nothing, nada, zip, zilch in the whole "do-over" category.
And now it's Father's day.
And where did I take them last weekend? to the mall WHY? to get father's day presents.
And Son came by tonight why? To hit me up for a card for father's day - which I just happened to have an extra of, and for wrapping paper to wrap Ex's gift...sigh.
We bought Ex simple stuff: a CD, some cool REEF flip flops. Nothing expensive, just "hey I know you need/want this and I'm thinking of you and glad you're my Dad."
Meanwhile, I'm seething.
Why didn't they do this for me? Why is he such a jerk? Why can't they stop being ego-centric teenagers for one damned minute and remember something about which I reminded them 30 times? I birthed the little slugs. Carried them 9 months. Threw up most of the 9 months. Have the veins and stretch marks to remind me of that lovely 9 months. Spent countless sleepless nights tending to them. Did what mothers do. And all I ask is 1 measly day a year for a little measly "thanks mom." Some cheesy presents (I admit it - I like presents. I like stupid store-bought bath gels or candles or whatever. And they know it!) Nope. Couldn't do it.
I've started reminding them NOW that my birthday is in September....God help them and the eastern seaboard if they "forget."
And now, I am taking the weekend off to go on a little vaca all by myself -ok with Friend ;-) while my ingrateful slugs spend the weekend with Ex and his family.
Happy Father's Day! I will return a happier, more balanced person. Promise.