Friday, February 13, 2009

3 dogs + 3 balls = peace .... Unless the Dogs are Stupid

Lately I've had 3 dogs every [other] week - or for 2 weeks straight now as Ex travels more and more.... 2 is more than I bargained for. 3 nearly send me to the mad-house.

Two 70 pound yellow labs - my big dumb queen bee and his lab, DRD (Dumb Runaway Dog), plus Daughter's puppy, 8 pound Stinky. Stinky likes to be the Biggest - the Biggest Pain that is. She hangs on their jowls when they have a toy she wants and try to run away from her. I kid you not. She's a rotten terrier. And then when they try to strike back, she hides under beds or chairs where they cannot reach her. She is a smart, rotten terrier.

So I got 3 of everything. 3 balls. 3 stuffed Santa chew toys. 3 bones. 3 big bears to hug. 3 cages, 3 beds, you get the picture.

Wait, I'm the mother of twins and never bought 2 of everything. Share and share alike. OK these are dogs and my children have taught me, through their Scholars' Seminar and Morality classes at school that "Dogs cannot reason and therefore don't have a soul." [oh the fights on that issue....] but we are pretty much in agreement that they don't reason [or they'd stop eating chocolate and nearly dying....] sooooo 3 of everything. And then there is peace.


Stinky has tiny stinky-sized tennis balls. That squeak. And DRD thinks they are hors d'oeuvres. Queen Bee likes tennis balls, but DRD, despite being a retriever doesn't know how to retrieve, just how to eat balls, so they fight over that one. And, of course, the other dogs only want the ball that the other dogs have. Tonight I was trying to play ball with Queen Bee, the true retriever , but DRD and Stinky kept trying to steal the tennis ball, despite the fact that the tiny ball and a wonderful, chewy rubber ball were sitting in front of them, in plain sight. And of course they don't retrieve. And of course Queen Bee is 10 and can't see that DRD has the stupid tennis ball in her mouth, so she runs frantically around the room looking for it. There is much growling and gnashing of teeth and biting going on here tonight. And did you know that a terrier's mouth fits nicely completely inside a lab's mouth? Uh-huh it does. All this while I am trying to finalize my discovery responses and get them filed before midnight.....sigh.


Busy Bee Suz said...

you need the super nanny. Or, perhaps the Dog Whisperer.
It is like having kids isn't it? Or harder.
Good luck.
Have a great weekend.

J.G. said...

Terriers and peace are mutually exclusive, in my experience. Hang in there!