As you know from the Dumb Runaway Dog story, below, Ex was out of town for a few days this week. Why does that matter? hmmm. Yes, why exactly does that matter?
Because while he was gone, there was peace and tranquility in my life.
Ok not really, but I did have a sense of peace that is not there on a daily basis when he is there.
Why you ask? Therein lies the $64,000 question: WHY DOES THAT MATTER?
And the fact that I do feel differently when he's home than when he's not suddenly hits me and I begin to see why so many people think it's just a little odd that we live next door to each other.
Somehow, when he's not there, he's not there. It's easier to forget. And maybe I'm still wallowing through the "forgetting" stage, because the remembering hurts too much. Or pisses me off too much, depending on what I'm remembering.
And maybe the feelings I have of pissiness and ugliness towards him explain why he experiences the same when he sees me. Maybe it explains why he was not at all grateful for me taking care of his dog. Maybe it explains why he runs back in the house if he starts to go out back with his Dumb Runaway Dog and sees me out back with my dogs. Maybe it explains why when I walked over to deliver the medical records from the emergency room vet clinic, he snatched them out of my hand without saying a word to me. Not even thanks. Maybe it explains why when I send him emails about the kids, he answers with as few words as humanly possible.
It shouldn't matter if we live next door or in the next block or the next town or the next state. It shouldn't but it does.
And I'm going to admit it: I hate living next door to him. Not that he does anything nefarious. I just don't like the vibe....