Only Tuesday but it feels like Friday - lots of goings on here in Casa De Next Door with the Big Sweet Sixteen/Halloween party Friday night! Tonight we cleaned, vacuumed, dusted (!), washed floors, decorated, and generally made the place presentable for the Grandparents who are arriving tomorrow. So that's the Good.
The Bad: Woke up with a stomach-achy fluey kind of thingy and felt like throwing up all day. Apparently this is going around the office. My Secretary was up all night with it. Yum. So I went home early. Leaving behind a LOT of work. So that's the Bad.
And then I get home to not 1 dog, not 2 dogs, but 3 THREE Dogs. What's this? Dumb Runaway Dog (DRD) is at my house again? I know Ex is going away next week and I had to jump through hoops and ask my Parents to stay so that we could both be away at the same time, but huh? Tonight? Night-before-the-Parents-arrive here? WHy??? And Son says, "Oh Dad's going to Korea tomorrow - so we're keeping DRD." Huh? out of the country? Tomorrow? I have an extra dog through the weekend when I have not only my parents and 50 kids but my brother and sister-in-law? Does this strike anyone as a little too much? No asking, just letting the kids spring it on me without so much as a heads up? When he knew darn well that my parents were coming and that I was having a party for the kids Friday and that my brother & wife are coming for the weekend? And that is the Bitchy. Yep, I was preeeeeety ticked off that he would just assume I would keep HIS DOG through all this.
Well of course I will. It's the Kids' dog too. But IT's Not My Dog! NO It Isn't. So I sent a rather nasty email to Ex about going out of the country and how letting me know might be a good thing - you know, in case of emergency with the kids I'll know he's not generally available. And You Know, courtesy to give me heads up if I'm going to watch YOUR dog in MY house. OH yes I did. I threw it at him.
So Am I a bitch? Too much over the top? No big deal that he's dumping his dog on me?
14 comments:
Just found your site and I'm liking it! No- you are not being too bitchy- leaving the country without a little notice is bit over the top- common courtesy would dictate a quick phone call or e-mail and to thank you in advance for caring of the dog...
NOT over the top. If he's leaving the COUNTRY for God's sakes, he should be letting the mother of his children know...ESPECIALLY if he's also giving you his dog.
He deserves a good bitchy email. Who assumes that you'll just watch their dog...not cool.
No way was that over the top. You have to draw a line and let him know how you expect to be treated!
Hey - in the email did you say "I am taking Au's or Sh's key to your house so that during the party I can store the three dogs at your place. I know you would have concerns over the kids being in the house alone, so I will PERSONALLY walk the dogs over, let myself in, root through your refrigerator for anything that might be good to serve as an appetizer, then bring the dogs home when the festivities are done. I assume this won't be a problem, so I won't even ask if you mind. Enjoy Korea".
Yeah. I agree with Persnickety. He's an f-tard.
i think it's very passive aggressive of him to dump his dog on you via the kids, without communicating with you.
that said, i think you're also feeling pretty sick and overwhelmed and tired, which does not amount to "bitchy" but does amount to aggrieved.
hope things get better, and you feel better.
No, you're not a bitch. Ex can't have it both ways -- he can't refuse to communicate with you,then assume you'll be available to dogsit or cover for him when he takes the trips he refuses to mention to you. I'd tell him that in the future, you'll be dropping the dog off at a kennel for unannounced travel. At his expense, of course.
I'm with paranoid. F-tard or no, you simply need to set a boundary. Unavailable for dog-sitting without prior notice, dog will be at this kennel. You're neighbors at this point (especially by his behavior) and neighbors don't just dump their dogs on each other without warning.
A simple, "I had plans that couldn't include another dog" should suffice. Lather, rinse, repeat. And the kids need to be told of this policy so that they don't OK it for you. If they want to earn kennel fees by taking care of DRD at the neighbor's house, well, that's up to them/him (assuming you're OK with such things).
The high road is a wonderful place. Though other paths make for better snarkage, I'm just sayin'.
Hope you feel better soon!
Sounds Like life if really crazy...you need a candel bath...
Well considering that I would have boarded the dog and charged him for it, I'd say you're being pretty nice and level headed about it!
THANK YOU ALL For your comments and suggestions. First the support helped me make it through the night and today. Second, they gave me the courage to write yet another long, matter-of-fact yet scathing email in which I told him if he pulled this again, I would put the dog in a kennel of My choice while HE foots the bill. I don't expect a response. But I sure do feel better!!!
OH and Fucktard? My favorite new word...except I say F'tard. Thanks Persnickety!
you know what tho'?
dr. phil or some other "wiseman" said, people can only take advantage of you if you let 'em.
(or somethin' like that)
why waste your time with emails?
(might as well bang your head on the wall between your 2 houses) just say NO.
and mean it.
the dog stays next door, the kids feed and walk it.
cos he didn't ask.
AND it's not convenient for you.
end of.
and let's face it if he was considerate enough in the first place he wouldn't be living next door would he?
his feet would still be under the table.
am i right?
ooh,
i love giving advice.
if only people would just LISTEN!
;-))
Your behavior with the ex was completely appropriate. You GO girl!!!
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