The kids are in college - they are adults and yet, they are my babies.
Still trying to find that middle ground where it all balances out. I am working on it, yet I can't seem to find it. Have you found it?
For example, I went to see Daughter at school for Parents' Weekend. We had so much fun. It was great to see her in her environment - walking down the street calling out to pals, shopping and finding things for her, talking about her dorm, boys, food, parties. Parties. Listening as she shared with me in honesty what she was doing on the weekends. Trying hard to find the Balance - not condoning but not condemning. So hard to find that middle ground.
Then meeting the Boyfriend. He is sweet. He is well mannered. He is spiritual and thoughtful. He has a few (physical) characteristics I find unusual, but my Daughter accepts him. So I keep my mouth shut and find the Balance.
Son finally calls me -it has been over a week. I know something is up, but he hasn't told me. Finally he tells me - he dropped a class. A required class. I pause and swallow my instant response, "WHAT THE F* R U THINKING?" And chill out to the point where I can ask him, "Did you consult your advisors? Did you evaluate what this means for next semester? Do you have a plan to attack this subject differently next time?" Turns out he didn't ask me OR Dad before dropping - he just dropped. And he hasn't told Dad yet. Striking the balance - I am paying the bills, he must do the work. Wondering if he thinks I am condoning this? Or does he get it that this is so not cool?
Striking the balance. Letting go while still holding on.
And I still miss them so much, every day, I would give anything to have that Do Over.