DOGS

I love Dogs. I wanted a dog my whole life. My dog T-bone died when I was just 5 and Meanie Mommy said, "No More Dogs." (Actually she said, "We're not getting a dog!" but that's another story...) Anyway, mom said I could carry a puppy down the aisle instead of flowers. Out of respect for my dress, I didn't carry a puppy, but 2 seconds after we got home from the honeymoon I started begging Ex for a dog. He'd open the newspaper and what's in the Margin? "BUY ME A DOG" "ME NEEDS A DOG." Notes in his lunch about dogs. Photos of cute puppies on the fridge. 2 weeks later he threw the newspaper at me and said, "PICK OUT A DOG!" Enter Doggy # 1 "Reggae."

Reggae threw herself off the balcony in Spain. Broke my heart.

Years later, back in the states, I again bargained for a dog. Long story short, Chessie became my mother's day present. A few years ago the lobby began for doggy #2. The kids lamented that Chessie was my dog - listened to me, came to me, slept with me. They wanted another dog to be theirs (I tried to explain that if you feed her and love her and don't pull her tail she'd love you, too, but they didn't believe me). Ex said, "NO - NO MORE DOGS. Who wants to wipe 8 paws when it rains, scoop up twice the poop, pay twice the vet bills. NO!!!" I wanted a smaller dog. Still the answer was a resounding NO.

Exit the Ex with 1/2 my dog.

One day, what should appear at the Ex's house? ANOTHER DOG. What appeared steaming from my ears? Smoke? What's this I get denied a dog for years and then he has two?!! Eventually I got over the hurt and the anger.

Now there is only joy.

The new dog, "Cassie" - who looks just like Chessie (draw your own conclusions here _____), is nicknamed Marley. Although beautiful and soft and lovable, she is a holy terror. I think she's 2 or 3 years old - Ex is the third owner. She eats everything. She goes into the garbage or gets up on the countertops while you're standing right there. You cannot leave her alone for 30 seconds or she's into something, eating something, terrorizing something. She is a royal pain in the butt. How do I know these things? I am currently babysitting for her while Ex is out of town. (A huge olive branch if you ask me - which is why I said yes. Shows how desperate I am to open the lines of communication...)

Know what? I Do Not Want Another Dog. I enjoy my freedom. Just as I have babysat other babies to know conclusively I am over the whole "baby" thing yet still love my own kids desperately? I now know I am over the whole "puppy" thing.

And now indeed my Joy is Complete.