There were sooooo many signs early on that my relationship with Ex was not quite right.
Like our first Valentine's day. He lived 300 miles away. I was in college. He had graduated. He would come up to see me every few weekends. In between we wrote letters Snail mail kinds.
And we talked on the phone when we could afford it. He was 5 years older and had a job.
So Valentine's was coming and he was coming up for a school dance. I was so excited. I spent weeks shopping for him. I was a pretty poor college student - I had to come up with my own spending money, which meant long summers and winter breaks working and saving and no spring break trips and waiting impatiently for that tax check to tide me over til summer again....
And I came up with a "theme" present - a present for every part of the day to remind him of me throughout the day. A coffee mug with "I love you" hearts on it - a big mug - for breakfast. A "good" pen (Cross pen - quite the extravagance in those days) for him to take to work, a Fairfield Key chain engraved with his initials for starting the car or locking/unlocking the house. A Fairfield sweatshirt to keep him warm as he did outside chores. And a personalized pillow case I found at a kiosk in the mall (I am so un-crafty and so un-artsy it is sad) painted with a sail boat (his favorite) and a scripted note on it "Sweet Dreams Ken, Love ME" I thought it was kind of a clever idea and was excited to give it to him.
He was totally non-plussed. To put it mildly.
He already had a pen. Why would he wear a Fairfield sweatshirt when he went to Va Tech? The keychain was too big and hit his knee when he drove. The pillow case was scratchy. He missed the entire theme.
I should have known - right then and there - that we would never really "get" each other......
Instead, I felt stupid and insignificant for thinking that such a dumb idea would appeal to a smart, talented, businessman. Sigh.