I've got Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore. Thingamabobs? I've got 20....

OK So who can name that movie/song in 3 notes??

I have a confession. I have become a total gadget geek. One major purchase and one other major experience today, and I am sunk.

I used to be a normal human being who did things the old fashioned way - by hand. I mashed my potatoes by hand. I sew by hand (ok ok I don't know how to use a machine and all I can do is sew buttons, but still, it makes a nice story....). But this weekend? I have gone all gadget-Rambo.

First, Daughter and I went out on Black Friday at 545 am. Oh yes We did. I didn't even know why we were going. I think just because she wanted to and she was going because I wanted to. But it turned into a good trip. We came up with ideas for the grandparents in Penny's, laughed a ton over silly stuff, got a lot of great bargains, and enjoyed each other's company. Oh yeah and we bought ourselves some new duds.

Then we went to Circuit city on the way home where they had the iRobot Roomba on sale. I've been eyeing these babies for months. I actually did some investigation into the company and the technology last year for something work related and was duly impressed by my discoveries. But hundreds of dollars for a little scurrying vacuum that takes 45 minutes to do what I can do in 7 minutes? Hmmmm. But as time is getting more scarce and the doghair is multiplying in triplet now, I am thinking otherwise. And then I see it. The "5th generation" model for a whopping $100 less than anywhere else even close - even $115 less than Kohl's 4a.m. earlybird sale. It's clearly screaming my name. So I buy it. Turns out they mismarked the little robotbaby. But the cashier agreed I had the right model per the printout on the shelf and gave it to me for the silly price. Nirvana

It does work - cleaned my living room of all traces of dog hair. While I sat on the phone and chatted and watched it. (um wait aren't I supposed to be doing something more productive with my time? Well I had to watch it the first time to make sure it did it right).

Then today Son and I went grocery shopping and I remembered the portable scanners. What's that you say? Load bags into your cart, grab a scanner, scan and bag as you go, plug the scanner in at the end, get a grand total, swipe your credit card and exit the store in 37 seconds? Yep. Just like that. AND I got an extra $6 off my purchases for using the scanner. I kid you not. Son and I had a ball with the thing. And when we changed our mind on a purchase and put something back? No sweat. Easy to delete an item. Produce? No problem - weigh, spit out sticker, scan. Badabing badaboom. I am in love. I am going grocery shopping tomorrow just to play with the scanner again.

I think I need to call the Geek Squad....

Milestones Memories and Miracles

Another Holiday. The passing of time. Holidays gone by merging wildly into one another. Thanksgiving of my youth: the year I decreed that if the girls made dinner and cooked all day, the boys should NOT get to sit around and watch football while we cleaned up, and the family agreed.... a holiday tradition is borne. The Holidays of my teenage years, centered around the oldest running high school girls' flag football game on Wednesday and the high school boys' football game on Thursday morning: dad running the lines, brother as drum major, me in the band or on the field playing ball, depends on the year... all good times. The holidays of college, coming back to Homecoming and meeting up with friends, comparing notes, puffing out chests, embellishing college tales, eyeing each other with a dash of angst, a smidgen of longing, a dollop of heartache. The holidays of my early marriage, me anxious to get in the car and zoom up the highway to football and food and family, him dragging and complaining that I packed too much. Again. The holidays of my children, Thanksgivings in Spain or South Carolina or Maryland, with his family or no family, but always blessed with good food and good friends; Last Year my first Holiday Alone as the kids stayed with Dad and I trekked north once again to my family, reunited with friends and parties and games and good times while adjusting to the New Life. And this year. Yet another rebirth. Another anxious and excited time. Cajoling the children to hurry pack pack pack. We're going HOME. Realizing I forgot to have the oil changed and hoping the truck will be fine til we get there. Packing sweaters. Packing for dogs. Packing for cold. Making lists of food to buy for pies when we get there because I forgot to shop. What have I been doing this week anyway??? calls with the nieces and nephews and plans to go out, to play, to game, to enjoy each other's company. To be HOME in my parents' house, again blessed to be surrounded by family, friends, dogs, memories. Giving thanks for the many blessings. Giving thanks for new memories...

HELD

A multitude of feelings.....

Sometimes it's a feeling so deep, a desire unspeakable, the desire to be held in someone's arms.

Othertimes it's the inescapable chains that bind, the angst that no amount of wiggling can loosen, the feeling of being held back.

Then there's the look, the stare of another, whether it's the TSA man walking down the line of passengers and looking each in the eye, or the gaze from the green-eyed, dark skinned young man as he rings up your purchase, it's that eye-locking gaze and the feeling you are held spell-bound for that instant.

A new puppy, yours or another's, and the feeling overcomes you as your eye captures that soft, fluffy, downy new fur, the pouty face, the floppy ears, the waggly tail, and you just know he needs to be held.

The relief and gratitude as you sprint away from security towards the gate, as you realize that the plane has been held just for you.

One word. Many feelings.

Thanks San Diego Momma for this Prompt Tuesday!

Redefining Dreams

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

That's one of my fall-back quotes from college days. Still true every day of my life.

This weekend, while down in Florida with the Captain, playing dominoes with my Pirate friends and having lots of good laughs, it comes up that a certain house is for sale. Deco Dave, our Jamaican/New Zealand friend is in town. Deco Dave (who I'm pretty sure is my long lost brother, we have an amazing relationship like that) has a gorgeous house in the Grove that he kept despite moving out of the country. I love the location, the house, the guest house out back, the tree HOUSE with marble flooring, everything about Davy's house (ok ok it's worth well over a million so yeah, it has some "amenities.") Mostly I love the neighborhood - walking distance to town and the marina, lovely address with lots of Pirate friends in the neighborhood. Turns out the house for sale used to be the Captain's house - before his then wife decided it wasn't a place to raise kids and made him sell it and move across the state. Sigh. A few years later, Deco Davy's brother bought it and lived there for a number of years. Pirate neighborhood indeed.

I suddenly got the craziest ideas of buying the house. Ideally, I'd buy the house in 1.5 years, when my house is being sold and I have equity and all that. But the house is for sale now and at bargain basement prices. We start scheming and doing crazy math and coming up with creative financing plans. To be neighbors with DecoDave? priceless.

Next day Captain and I went to see the house (listed by another Pirate friend who gave us the code for entrance). The yard is perfect - lots of room for Queen Bee and Stinky to run, and already fenced in. Amazingly, much of the work the Captain did on the house is still in evidence 15 years later - clearly he has a good and careful hand for such improvements. And the latest owner revamped the entire (tiny) kitchen in very good taste. The windows have the original lead panes of 100 years ago. It already survived Hurricane Andrew back in '92, so we know it's hardy. Hardwood floors throughout. Nifty pass-throughs from the bedroom to the kitchen where the Captain's kids used to peek out and say, "We'd like cheeseburgers fries and a coke" while the Captain and his wife were making dinner 15 years ago. Much charm. My corner hutch would fit nicely in the dining room, as would the buffet and dining room table....

But as I walked around the house, it didn't feel like my next house. I have been toying with moving to Florida in 1.5 years. Where? I don't know - probably east coast, probably miami-ish. On the water? In a house? In a condo? I don't know.

At least now I know where I won't live. I realized this 100 year old house, while full of charm and in a great neighborhood, isn't me. I don't have the skills of the Captain to fix the many things that are likely to go wrong. [and NO the Captain and I won't be living together] I don't have the time or energy to "take back" much of the overgrown vines and plants in the way I would want to to make it My yard. I don't have the energy to revamp the bathrooms that haven't been redone since probably the 50's.

And so the Dream is redefined or maybe just given some definition.

At least now I know that I think it will be a house - I can't imagine not having at least a small yard. And it will be newer with a master bathroom and walk in closet like I've always wanted. And a decent sized kitchen. And a garage. And the charm of the neighborhood in the Grove where the Pirates live.

Where? I still don't know. But where not, well, I guess knowing that is some progress?

What a Wicked Week

Resorting to Random Posting that isn't even very funny or entertaining....but I'm way behind and leaving town again...

• Ex drops an email bomb that gee, he might move to Florida like, next week and how would I feel about that and I'd just handle the kids and all right ? Which led to an actual telephone conversation (we only communicate by email) in which he decided that maybe he'd think about moving a little more. Oh but first he asked the kids if they might like to move to Florida with him. And then my head exploded....fortunately, they laughed at him so I didn't really have to do much about that except say, "Interesting that you would've asked THEM before discussing the idea with ME. But then I should expect as much." Nuf Said

• Put on my big girl suit again (twice in a month!) and got to argue in Court again! That might sound weird, but in my legal field we don't get to court much and when we do, usually the Partners get the fun. And it's always great when the Judge starts the hearing by saying to the other side, "Now they [me] don't have a real high bar here. And I think they pretty much meet their burden. So what do you have to say about that?" Yeah it was a good day. Winning is fun.

• Had all THREE dogs to myself Wednesday night - the night before the big hearing (above) - kids were on a school retreat, Ex out of town. Queen Bee always sleeps in my bed and, well, Stinky does if she's around. So I couldn't very well leave Dumb Runaway Dog (DRD) out now, could I? So 3 dogs in bed. With me. And a bone that DRD smuggled in. And at 2 a.m. they apparently got the call to go DANCING b/c DRD and Stinky started bouncing and dancing in the bed. Just for the hell of it. 2 a.m. Queen Bee? Slept through it all....

• Spent 2 hours trying to log on to my work computer this morning. TWO HOURS WITH the help of Tech Support (katydidnot - I think I need to borrow your BF!) The problem? A problem with my "Network profile" which should have been discovered in the first 15 seconds of my first call.....I even said, "Have you checked my profile?" (Yeah I have profile issues. Imagine that). Grrrrr.

• So now that I've lost all the time I should've been working, I'm blogging. Yep. Life is like that.

• Getting on a plane to go SOUTH to see the Captain tonight. Didn't hide the luggage from the kids like I usually do (they go back to Dad's tonight).

Son said, "Where you going?"

me "Florida."

SON: "Captain?"

Me: "YEP"

Son: "That's weird. you're too old to date. [snort]"

while Daughter's conversation went like this: "Where you going?" Me: Florida .......

Daughter? Anything? Anything at all? Oh pretending I don't exist. Ok. Thanks.

• Daughter broke up with the BF - after almost 11 months. He is also Son's best Friend. And she didn't tell me until days later when I asked if she were still mad at him. It bothered me when she wouldn't tell me why she was mad at him - gone is the child who tells me everything. Now it takes 2 days to tell me he's history? Sigh. I guess she really is 16 isn't she? I guess I should be thankful for the 15 years of unending conversation and stop being a DQ.
• And last BUT MOST CERTAINLY NOT LEAST THANK YOU BLOGGY (and bloggy/real-world) FRIENDS The response to this post below was amazing. I was feeling pretty stupid and now, well, I feel normal. Just the other day, I took a survey at 5 minutes for mom and they asked, "Why do you blog?" and my instant response, "Sanity and finding out that how I feel just might be 'normal.'" Once again, you all have come through. Thanks!!!!

The Fatal Flaw - being a Melter

Imagine this

Here

Yep that's pretty much it.

I have a fatal flaw (just one you ask? Oh I'm sure there are more)

My most annoying (personally i.e. to me) fatal flaw: I'm a melter.

Now you might think I'm a strong girl. I live alone. I have 2 fab 16 YO twins, I am climbing the partner ladder in a big firm, I teach Sunday School and volunteer in the kids' school, I do pro bono legal work. Yep, all around strong chick.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

And then today happens.

The medical appointment I've waited 4 weeks for and called about every week to see if there's a cancellation so that I can slide in earlier? CANCELED

And when rescheduling I find out that the test I am so eagerly awaiting? Well that will happen on the SECOND appointment, not the first. Yep a follow-up.

My insurance is changing with the life change and I have no idea of any of this medical stuff is covered b/c I can't understand our benefits write up. (and I'm supposed to be a lawyer).

A GIANT zit is growing on my chin. Wait not giant. GINORMOUS. Did I mention I'm (maybe)seeing BF this weekend?

The trip to see BF in Fla? BF is now on call and I might have to cover SOCCER.

SIS inLaw calls in for backups over the weekend. When I don't have the kids. Either I get a driver for Daughter to soccer tournament or cancel trip to take her myself so that Sis In Law can have a weekend off (a much deserved weekend)

Female parts go haywire - (any more is TMI trust me)

Brief that should be filed by noon is still being played with by partners at 6pm....

FIL calls for ride to get car and you can't say no b/c he always helps you out.

Pretty much all of the above hit within 15 minutes today.

And what did I do? Attack with a plan? NO

focus and organize the things I can change? NO

Sit at my desk and melt? YES PICK ME PICK ME

I totally folded. It's like life is hanging on by a thread. And when any one of the pieces doesn't fall into place, the whole damned thing comes crashing down. I closed my door and cried. I mentally broke up with BF. I canceled all trips for the next 40 years of my life. I mentally quit my job and then remembered the mortgage payments.

Time lapsed 30 seconds.

Text BF and plead emotional breakdown. And admit my silly meltdown and he just said he understood. Sigh.

Apologize to secretary for biting her head off.

Give up on partner filing brief and leave office to help Dad with car.

Call Dr.s and figure out where to go from here, minimizing more waiting time.

But on ride home remember that my first reaction? TOTAL MELTDOWN.

And I am ashamed. And I wonder, do other people react like this? Or am I just a

Thems my Bitches

Hey Don't Blame me -that's what Daughter Said!

Yes they were all sitting on her. Even DRD (on the right) was being cute. I admit it.