It was Supposed to be Rhetorical

Dear Patent Agent/Scientist on the elevator yesterday:

As I bundled up in my Puffy Long Winter coat, donned my gloves and made preparations to step out into the frozen tundra as you stepped on the elevator, and I turned to you and said, "HOW many more days til Spring?!" That was a rhetorical question. I didn't really want to know how many. Because the answer is, "Too Many."

Yours truly,

The Frozen Girl on the 6th Floor
who would rather be in Florida, even if it's colder than normal there, too.

I looked down and thought Frick I better not have a meeting today.

Day 2 of Back to School, back to kids, back to Life - oh but I'm still in 16-hour-a-day-Pretrial Mode.

I have finally convinced the 16 YEAR OLDS to make their own lunches. Whaddaya know they can do dishes and even - gasp - make breakfast. So I'm getting help there. It's crunch time people and I need a team effort.

I awoke early this morning, took Queen Bee and Stinky out, made time for my 10 minute trainer - oh BTW in which he lies b/c they stop that little 10 minute clock every time they change moves, so it's really closer to 12 minutes plus warm up and hey I need 20 minutes to do my 10 minute training. But I digress...

After showering, listening to radio, hear Big Accident on our normal route - oh and we are out of gas in the car and it was raining too hard to go get gas last night. Frick Frick Frick.

Hurry up, yell to children to hurry up, grab an outfit. Do I have a meeting today? Don't remember - better wear at least a semi-suit. [we have "dress your day" - I can wear fairly casual business clothes or a suit, depending. On Fridays it's jeans or capris in the summer. Unless I have a meeting. Who plans meetings on Fridays? Not me]

Grab my old standby Talbots purple silk suit. Not really PURPLE but kind of deep purply blueish. Properly muted as only Talbots would. White shell? Naaah that's boring. Hey there's an old shell I never wear - has some purple in it, a little muted green, some grey a little black. Perfect. Throw it on. Realize I can't find my hair straightener - maybe it's at work. Hurry Hurry run run. Finish packing lunches (what? they need checking - yep they forgot the fruit) and do Son's breakfast to go. Get in car a couple minutes earlier than normal, which is about 10 minutes later than we should have.

Get the kids to school on time - small miracle - get in the driver's seat (kids do the driving to school) look down at myself in the now sunlight and realize FRICK I DO NOT MATCH. Not even a little. The purple in the shell? A bright lilacky purple that in no way can even be in the same color family as my suit. You know how when colors are in the same family but not right they're worse than say, wearing Green and orange? Yeah. It's like that.

And I mentally run through my day and think, "Please God Don't let me have a meeting today."

And then I wonder how awake my Daughter was this morning - you know, the one driving? the one who is quick to tell me how terrible I look? Did she really not NOTICE this ensemble before we left the house?!

Note to self: Keep white shell on back of office door, just in case....

Making My Bones

I did it. I finally did it. I stood before a jury of 8 and said those immortal words, "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury...."

No longer a virgin, a rookie (ok I'm still a rookie), no longer a wannabe. I have finally finally finally after 8 years of waiting (sick isn't it?!) gotten on my feet and done it.

You want to know if I won, don't you? Or if I lost? Guess what. I didn't do either. Nope they weren't a "hung jury" either - we settled before they got to make a decision.

Settled! SETTLED! Crap crap crap. OK not really crap because it was good for the client to put the legal garbage behind them and get back to work and get back to making money. But let me tell you, if I could have just put on my "star witness" - the Executive VP of the 135 year old company who started in the shipping department 35 years ago and worked his way up to EVP? Yeah, he was totally awesome. Smart yet simple. Crafty yet straight shooting. Honest to a fault. The Perfect Witness. But alas, he had work to do and money to make. So he made the smart business decision and settled.

I'd like to think my killer opening with my ginormous flip-charts with the "disappearing trade dress" and my 4 hour killer-cross-examination had something to do with the parties settling. In reality, it was all about math.

Along the way there were surprises of course

• the night the partner and I were sitting in the "war room" at 1 a.m. for the 5th night in a row and, instead of arguing with each other, we were both calmly tapping away at our computer working on the outlines for the next day, having drilled the clients for info for 6 hours and sent them home, we occasionally tossed out an idea at the other person, who would catch it and run with it, declaring it "perfect." No hype, no craziness, just a Zen-like "in the zone" moment;
• working on a line of questioning for 2 hours, wondering how to lead the other side to walk through this "technical" stuff on cross and then showing up to court, only to have the other side walk everyone through it on direct without having to ask a single question, setting me up perfectly for my cross and the Client leans over and says, "PERFECT";
• running to the office at 730 a.m. on day 2, having solved a mystery of "timing" - where you know the opposing guy was lying on direct but how to absolutely prove it? You wake up and it comes to you and you run through the streets of chitown in 7 degrees in your killer new Via Spiga's with your coat 1/2 closed, too excited to realize you should be freezing;
• basking in the glow of being totally spoiled by local counsel, a man who has done this for 33 years and could try this case by himself and win it, even though he hasn't a clue as to the substantive law, but he is happy to mentor you and keep you fed with amazing italian food, to-die-for chinese food, stomach-crushing french food (where he speaks French fluently to the owner); and even a home-cooked pork loin roast made by his lovely and engaging wife - and he periodically stops by the "war room" to shake your diet coke can and refill it if necessary, all because he believes in you;
• spending an hour with a jury after you tell them they can go home because they want to know more about the law and you, and they are happy to share their points-of-view and help you be that much better the next time;
• standing next to your client in the hotel lobby the night before he leaves, just after settlement as he towers over you and in his darling and sincere deep-bass, oklahoma accent leans in closely and says, "If you evah need ah-nay-thang, an' Ih do mean AH-nay-thang, you caaaaallll meh" and feeling your heart break just a little as you say goodbye to such sweetness, wishing you could've had just 24 more hours to slam the other side for him, because he's worth every second of sleep you have lost.

Yeah, I'm home. Enjoyed a whole weekend with nothing to do but clean up Christmas stuff, shop, play with doggies, talk to siblings, run on the treadmill, hang out with the kids, watch movies. It's a good life. And I am blessed.

And thanks to ALL of you who sent me well-wishes to my "back posts" while I was at trial. I get your comments on my blackberry instantly, and they were keeping me energized and awake at 3am knowing I had my Peeps out there cheering me on!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

I've got Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty

I've got whozits and whatzits galore. Thingamabobs? I've got 20....

OK So who can name that movie/song in 3 notes??

I have a confession. I have become a total gadget geek. One major purchase and one other major experience today, and I am sunk.

I used to be a normal human being who did things the old fashioned way - by hand. I mashed my potatoes by hand. I sew by hand (ok ok I don't know how to use a machine and all I can do is sew buttons, but still, it makes a nice story....). But this weekend? I have gone all gadget-Rambo.

First, Daughter and I went out on Black Friday at 545 am. Oh yes We did. I didn't even know why we were going. I think just because she wanted to and she was going because I wanted to. But it turned into a good trip. We came up with ideas for the grandparents in Penny's, laughed a ton over silly stuff, got a lot of great bargains, and enjoyed each other's company. Oh yeah and we bought ourselves some new duds.

Then we went to Circuit city on the way home where they had the iRobot Roomba on sale. I've been eyeing these babies for months. I actually did some investigation into the company and the technology last year for something work related and was duly impressed by my discoveries. But hundreds of dollars for a little scurrying vacuum that takes 45 minutes to do what I can do in 7 minutes? Hmmmm. But as time is getting more scarce and the doghair is multiplying in triplet now, I am thinking otherwise. And then I see it. The "5th generation" model for a whopping $100 less than anywhere else even close - even $115 less than Kohl's 4a.m. earlybird sale. It's clearly screaming my name. So I buy it. Turns out they mismarked the little robotbaby. But the cashier agreed I had the right model per the printout on the shelf and gave it to me for the silly price. Nirvana

It does work - cleaned my living room of all traces of dog hair. While I sat on the phone and chatted and watched it. (um wait aren't I supposed to be doing something more productive with my time? Well I had to watch it the first time to make sure it did it right).

Then today Son and I went grocery shopping and I remembered the portable scanners. What's that you say? Load bags into your cart, grab a scanner, scan and bag as you go, plug the scanner in at the end, get a grand total, swipe your credit card and exit the store in 37 seconds? Yep. Just like that. AND I got an extra $6 off my purchases for using the scanner. I kid you not. Son and I had a ball with the thing. And when we changed our mind on a purchase and put something back? No sweat. Easy to delete an item. Produce? No problem - weigh, spit out sticker, scan. Badabing badaboom. I am in love. I am going grocery shopping tomorrow just to play with the scanner again.

I think I need to call the Geek Squad....