Blah blah blah trial work jury instructions outlines pretrial conferences blah blah blah ....
I'm sorry if I am repetitive. It may surprise some of you to know that lawyers, particularly in my area of practice (Intellectual Property - trademarks [including false advertising], copyrights, patents) RARELY go to trial. Indeed I have been at my firm for 6.5 years and have attended ONE, count 'em, ONE trial. And that didn't count b/c I just sat there. I didn't do a thing. (ok I did a lot, but NOTHING in court). So the fact that I am "first chair" and going to trial Tuesday? A pretty big deal. Just like TV [not] but I get to do opening and closing and all the directs and crosses. When I'm not peeing my pants in fear I'm reallllly excited.
So this whole New Year's thing kind of went by the wayside. When the Captain called at midnight to wish me a Happy New Year, I couldn't figure out who the hell was calling and bothering me while I was working.....lucky for me he is a patient, understanding man who lives 1000 miles away and was drinking Champagne (reallllly good stuff if I know him and I do) and enjoying Fireworks from his Sailboat on Biscayne Bay while I was freezing and working.
So today I took a 124 minute break to run to the mall, buy 3 new skirt suits (jury consultant says NO PANTS), a new long down parka (Judge says courtroom is HOT meaning I need a kickass outside coat to get me from office to Courthouse so I don't freeze then shed coat and wear light clothing inside), lots of SPANX to hold in my ever expanding butt (I have written my weight in lipstick on my bedroom and bathroom mirror and in marker on the refrigerator in the hopes I will soon STOP EATING - my 1 and only New Years Resolution), a couple new dress shirts, and some accessories for trial and the working weekend with the client. Yes I bought all that and more in 124 minutes. I am amazing. And oh the bargains.....And everywhere I went in the mall? Clerks kept saying, "Happy New Year." HUH? Why do they keep saying that? OH YEAH. Right. It's Jan 1. And I mumble back, "Yeah um Happy New Year....."
And tonight when I got home after 124 minutes away, do you think my wonderfully supportive teenagers [cough gag] managed to complete the ONE task I requested? Last night I fed 8 teenagers pizza, then drove them all to a party, then picked them all up 3.5 hours later and let 6 of them sleep over. ALL I ASKED WAS THAT THE TREE BE UNDECORATED AND TAKEN OUTSIDE BY 6PM. That's all. Just 1 tree. A few ornaments. Lights. Take it outside. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Did mama bear lose it and yell at her teens? DUH YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSss . Did they want to know why I was yelling? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Am I ready to sell them? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.
So I won't be posting anything recent for about 10 days. I have gathered photos and planned posts adhead of time for a few days to come. Then I'll be back to ranting about trials and clients and worry worry worry worry blah blah blah blah boring boring boring boring. Sorry in advance for being such a Law Geek.
Oh and Happy New Year!