Thursday, January 1, 2009

Why do People Keep Wishing Me A Happy New Year? oh yeah, it's Jan 1...

Blah blah blah trial work jury instructions outlines pretrial conferences blah blah blah ....

I'm sorry if I am repetitive. It may surprise some of you to know that lawyers, particularly in my area of practice (Intellectual Property - trademarks [including false advertising], copyrights, patents) RARELY go to trial. Indeed I have been at my firm for 6.5 years and have attended ONE, count 'em, ONE trial. And that didn't count b/c I just sat there. I didn't do a thing. (ok I did a lot, but NOTHING in court). So the fact that I am "first chair" and going to trial Tuesday? A pretty big deal. Just like TV [not] but I get to do opening and closing and all the directs and crosses. When I'm not peeing my pants in fear I'm reallllly excited.

So this whole New Year's thing kind of went by the wayside. When the Captain called at midnight to wish me a Happy New Year, I couldn't figure out who the hell was calling and bothering me while I was working.....lucky for me he is a patient, understanding man who lives 1000 miles away and was drinking Champagne (reallllly good stuff if I know him and I do) and enjoying Fireworks from his Sailboat on Biscayne Bay while I was freezing and working.

So today I took a 124 minute break to run to the mall, buy 3 new skirt suits (jury consultant says NO PANTS), a new long down parka (Judge says courtroom is HOT meaning I need a kickass outside coat to get me from office to Courthouse so I don't freeze then shed coat and wear light clothing inside), lots of SPANX to hold in my ever expanding butt (I have written my weight in lipstick on my bedroom and bathroom mirror and in marker on the refrigerator in the hopes I will soon STOP EATING - my 1 and only New Years Resolution), a couple new dress shirts, and some accessories for trial and the working weekend with the client. Yes I bought all that and more in 124 minutes. I am amazing. And oh the bargains.....And everywhere I went in the mall? Clerks kept saying, "Happy New Year." HUH? Why do they keep saying that? OH YEAH. Right. It's Jan 1. And I mumble back, "Yeah um Happy New Year....."

And tonight when I got home after 124 minutes away, do you think my wonderfully supportive teenagers [cough gag] managed to complete the ONE task I requested? Last night I fed 8 teenagers pizza, then drove them all to a party, then picked them all up 3.5 hours later and let 6 of them sleep over. ALL I ASKED WAS THAT THE TREE BE UNDECORATED AND TAKEN OUTSIDE BY 6PM. That's all. Just 1 tree. A few ornaments. Lights. Take it outside. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Did mama bear lose it and yell at her teens? DUH YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSss . Did they want to know why I was yelling? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Am I ready to sell them? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.

So I won't be posting anything recent for about 10 days. I have gathered photos and planned posts adhead of time for a few days to come. Then I'll be back to ranting about trials and clients and worry worry worry worry blah blah blah blah boring boring boring boring. Sorry in advance for being such a Law Geek.

Oh and Happy New Year!

10 comments:

hulagirlatheart said...

Good luck at trial! I am amazed at your shopping abilities...and your restraint in not whacking your children over the head with a broom. Don't you love it when they look at you like you're an idiot because you've lost your mind over telling them to do something for the fifteenth time? Oh, I had a margarita for you last night. We broke in the concoction maker. Sweet.

Kalynne Pudner said...

Good luck, Ms. Perry Mason! I will be experiencing it vicariously through you -- I who was HLS bound until I met this guy and got married and realized that grad school pays your way as opposed to law school loans...but that's just me.

And I'm SO with you on the disregarded de-treeing request.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Kick some intellectual property ass in court.

Teenagers--grr!

Mrs. G. said...

Happy New Year! When your tree is successfully down would you send you teens over to take care of mine?

Jason, as himself said...

You have two sixteen year-olds, and I have one. That makes it doubly bad when they don't do the simple things you ask them to do. EVEN after you bust your butt to help them out! I've been feeling this exact same pain.

Anyway, good luck!

Feisty Irish Wench said...

My oldest lost computer access today for not doing the dishes Tuesday at all, nor Wednesday when I asked him to do it. Instead he attempted to barter less time on the computer in exchange for delaying the dishwashing till the morning. I washed the dishes because I wanted them done before we left for a New Year's party and not be awakened by the rattling in the morning. I said nothing about any of it till he asked for the use of the computer, and subsequently got a foul attitude with me about it. Here honey, let mama break it down for ya....

Word Verf: doidsma - an utterance from a teen, implying a lack of general intelligence on the mother's part

DysFUNctional Mom said...

Good luck with it all!

Persnickety Ticker said...

Best of luck to you at trial! Oh yeah, and Happy New Year!!

SabrinaT said...

Good Luck with the trial, and the teenagers!

dkuroiwa said...

Give 'em hell in court on Tuesday!! (sorry...i watched a few episodes of Boston Legal and I just keep "seeing" you there...and saying "girlnextdoor" sounds almost as good as "denny crane"!!

and those kids? yeah...sell 'em...that'll teach them a lesson!! :-D

Happy new year to you too...i hope it is a great one!!