Thursday, October 8, 2009

Heard Around the House

ME: [in my bedroom Screaming] Sh*! Damn and hell that HURT!!!!

SON: MOM ARE YOU OK???

ME: Yes Damn and Shi# and Frick OUCH OUCH OUCH

[exit Stinky Butt scurrying under the bed to escape the screaming Grammy]

SON: [yelling through my bedroom door] What did you DO?

ME: Smacked my foot into the doorway and twisted my knee - MY HURT KNEE frick frick frick!!

SON: Whaaat? How did you do that?

ME: I WALK INTO THINGS - WHERE DO YOU THINK DAUGHTER GETS IT FROM?!

SON: Oh, yeah. Right.

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[SCENE: morning before school starts - Daughter having been ready 20 minutes as usual, waiting for Son to show up from Next Door to leave for school in my car]

DAUGHTER: Grrrr we are so late YOU are Driving - I am NOT getting the speeding ticket

SON: [dragging feet and generally going as hit snail pace] NO I don't want to drive I'm tired. Plus you weren't really ready, mom just handed you a check for tonight's flute lesson. So I was ready first.

DAUGHTER: NO we were killing time waiting for you - YOU ARE DRIVING.

SON: Oh I forgot a jacket...[snail snail snail up the stairs]

DAUGHTER: [in the driver's seat fuming after backing the car out of garage to attempt to hurry him up]

SON: What are you doing? I'm driving!

DAUGHTER: NO you are late, I'm driving get in.

MOM: [WT*?] Buh-bye kiddies - always nice to see you [waving as they back out of the driveway]
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MOM: Have you studied for the SAT test yet? {you know the one you asked to retake b/c you didn't study the first time and you know you could do a lot better and really want to go to Dartmouth?!}

SON: I have off school two days next week - I'll study then.

MOM: Those days off are AFTER the test - your test is this Saturday.

SON: Oh yeah right. No I guess not....

5 comments:

ChiTown Girl said...

Ah....just gotta love teenage boys, don't ya?

~annie said...

What I love is how they schedule the SATs the same day as Homecoming dance. Which means that Spirit Week, bonfire, PowderPuff football, Homecoming football game, Queen/King crowning, etc. etc. etc. filled the days/evenings prior. So those kids are really going to have studied hard and score well, right?

ModernMom said...

Eeeek!
Hope the knee is ok, and so so glad we don't have those SAT's up here. They sound so stressful!

mo.stoneskin said...

The fact that you are able to swear with key letters automatically swapped out is a real gift and one you should not take for granted.

phd in yogurtry said...

This is a first - teens arguing for the passenger seat!