Monday, April 6, 2009

Where Work and Life Collide

Many conflicting thoughts this weekend and as the new week begins.

This year, the kids spend Spring Break with the Ex. Nevermind that he kind of forgot to tell me that "Spring Break" to him means two weeks (my week included) as well as a few days off from school. that fight is there and gone.

As the kids packed to leave, excited at their prospect of a week with cousins, traveling south to visit colleges with dad along for the ride, I had such conflicting thoughts.

1) Glad they are spending time with cousins. They don't get that enough;
2) glad they are getting the "college tour" thing started;
3) devastated that I am not there with them.

Nevermind that I have been at work for 14 hours already today and am posting before going home. nevermind that I have a trial in 3 weeks and DO NOT HAVE TIME for college visits. Nevermind that 1/2 the colleges on the list my Daughter has no interest in and ALL of the college are of Zero interest to Son.

It doesn't matter. These are my babies. And I should be visiting colleges with them.

As the Captain Held me Sunday as I sobbed all of the above to him, he said, "Be thankful you feel this way about your children. Rejoice that you love them so much that you want to be with them. And embrace it. Then let it go and go do your job. Your children still love you."

Daughter called me this afternoon after the first visit - sadly I couldn't take the call as I was with clients in our meeting. But I called her back, chatted with the Cousins, and we're going to try again later.

Sometimes the Captain? yeah I think he might be God's personal messenger....


ModernMom said...

Your Captain sounds like a wonderful guy. I'm sure everyone will echo his sentiments.
Hope you get to carve out some time for you!

Busy Bee Suz said...

The Captain is the hero in this story. Take can't be everywhere ALL the time...ya know? Do what you can. :) And for you...that is a lot!!!

Jason, as himself said...

Wow. You've got a good one there!

ChiTown Girl said...

Um...think you can clone The Captain, and send the copy here to ChiTown? You've got a keeper there!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

This is the thing my divorced friends struggle with the most--good thing you have a stellar support system.

DysFUNctional Mom said...

My kids are with their dad this week, too, and he tried to get them on my weekend as well...didn't happen.
I'm sorry you are missing out on the college visits. I'm glad the Captain is there for you.

Maggie said...

The Captain is my new hero, and he's absolutley right!!! Good luck with your case and dont for get to take some "me" time.

Katy said...

Ooooo, he's a keeper for sure!

zelzee said...

It is always difficult when they spend time with their dad, because for one fleeting moment you feel inadequate.

Captain is right.......your children DO love you! Remember.......A visit with cousins and college is not going to change that.

Pamela Kramer said...

Ah yes the college tours. I didn't go with my daughter when she went the summer before her senior year. She went with a group of friends and we paid for the gas, food etc..

I'm sorry your post just reminded me of that and nothing turned out like I thought it would. It stinks when we can't be in several places at one time!

Lana said...

All I can say is in response to what the Captain said... AWE!!

mo.stoneskin said...

The Captain is all man.

Hit 40 said...

Divorce is so hard! My best friend at work is having an awful awful divorce!! Her husband and - I have to admit her! are both being immature and baiting each other. I can see why you are upset over the college thing. You put thought and research into the decision. And, want to make sure your kids hear the advice. I think they do hear you - but don't ever want to admit that!!! Thank you for stopping by my blog.

3 Peas in a Pod said...

The more I hear about Captain, the more I love him. I love you two together. The ex was rough and everything that goes/went along with him but it makes the second one so much better.

I'm sorry you had to miss visiting the colleges. You're only one person and you can only be in one place at a time. So happy you had the Captain there to comfort you.

Much love from NJ,