Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Old Lady in the Shoe

Once upon a time there was a mom with twins in school who was newly divorced, with a full time (and then some) job who juggled divorce stuff, kid stuff, job stuff, dating (?!) stuff and then some.

Then the twins left her and went to college.

She cried a lot.  Worked more.  Planned for when they would visit.

Then she got a new job.  Left the lonely home.  Moved to a warmer climate.  Moved in with the Perfect Captain.

She left the blogging world for a while.  then she tried to return.

But she felt like the old woman in the shoe.  Except without the children.

She visited blogs about life and chaos and kids and stuff.  And thought 'I remember when."

She read posts about kids and movies and allowances and thought "My views are so oooooold"

Am I really that old?  I am 46.  My kids are 20.

Yet somehow I feel like the old woman in the shoe.  Who once had so many children (because her kids' friends and their friends and the friends of friends seemingly ended up at my house...) she didn't know what to do.

And now?  I have so much time on my hands.  I just don't know what to do......
I find that I have lost the drive that had me running everywhere so fast, I wondered myself how I didn't spontaneously combust.  Yes I have joined a gym in an attempt to lose weight and get in shape.  Yes the Captain and I spend a LOT of time together - watching movies, hanging out on the couch talking, sailing, planning adventures.

Oh and if you ask him, we get our fair share of visitors.  (Like no room at the inn or on the floor for Christmas, overlapping winter breakers that will have 8 adults sleeping in a very small 3 bedroom house, and no news yet on spring break but last year we had 6-8 kids for a week....)

But still, in between visits, I feel like I waste so much time.  Gone from so much to do to...what to do?

anyone else understand this debacle???


ChiTown Girl said...

Oh my good God, woman, enjoy the "nothing"!!

I totally get it. You probably remember, back in the beginning of my blogging days, I was constantly on the go. Single mom, working THREE jobs, raising a pre-teen, helping my brother open a new business, running Parents' Club at my son's grade school, volunteering constantly at the hight school, etc... Sometimes I go back and read old posts, and just shake my head. How the HELL did I do it all!?

As my "activities" were scaled down, I found a little time to breathe, and it was nice. Now, I have just about NOTHING going on, and I love it! No job, a (sorta) grown son who's in college, nobody demanding anything, it's awesome! The highlight of my day is going to the gym for 2 hours. =) Oh, that and getting Monkey a few days a week. I'm loving my life right now. Well, except for the no money part... But, I prepared for that, so it's all good for now. I'm just going to continue to enjoy the "nothing"! =)

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Oh heck yeah I get it. That's what started me blogging. I had NO idea what to do with myself, none, so I just filled time that way. Sometimes I wonder if I could handle it if thrown back in time to the daily chaos and routines of when the kids were home. lol

Gigi said...

As the mom of a freshman at college, I get it. I "thought" I'd be able to tackle my projects. And I could...I just don't seem to have the energy for it now that my "life force" has left the building.

Busy Bee Suz said...

I really can't imagine that time. NOT yet. But surely it will rear it's ugly head.
Maybe a hobby of sorts? reading more. A book club? Join a cult? Volunteering?
ok, I was kidding about the book club.

I know you will find something to fill the gaps.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

I get it and I LOVE it, shocking myself and everyone else. I just go out with friends a lot.

I have a close group of empty nest friends (our boys played water polo together and our other kids either shared grades or teams or scouts) and all of us just had our youngest leave for college; when someone asks how we're handling the empty nest, we just laugh hysterically and toast one another.

I think it is harder with twins because it's over all at once.

Suburban Correspondent said...

Jenn has a good point. And I went through something similar when we were done having babies (after 15 years). I literally didn't know what to do with myself or how to organize my day without having to plan around naps and diapers. It's been a long transition for me, figuring out how to motivate myself to get things done without the constant threat of total chaos hanging over me. And also without all the wonderful love and adoration that radiates from babies and toddlers...

Vodka Mom said...

Oh my God. You are living my life. Except for the moving to a warm place with a captain.