And the Winner Is........

Three Peas in a Pod totally nailed it - dead on. How many hours/days of diet cokes? 1.5 days. Now to be fair, Tuesday started at 8 a.m. and ended after midnight. Wednesday started at 8a.m. I took the photo at noon.

When I left the office for trial Friday, my shelf overflowth.

Yes, I drink too many diet cokes. The associate in charge of stocking our "war room" bought 2 cases. I told him it was a good start.....

I am off to trial for real now. No more playing hooky. I'll be back Friday to tell you how it went. And to Mail Sue her book!

I've Got a New Girlfriend.....

Normally I am not a gadget person. If they'd just make a darned cell phone that would last, I'd be fine.

You know, one that when left out in the rain for 3 days would continue to function.

So when Son left his out in the rain for 3 days, we had a situation. (he likes to test the waterproof-ability of electronics. So far Ipods and Cellphones? Not so waterproof....)

Amazingly Ex and I both told him the same thing, "I'm not paying for a new one...."

Lots of hours on the phone with VerizonWireless (who, by the way, are totally awesome. I heart Verizonwireless) and I discover I can get a crackberry practically free (I think it was $50) and my work picks up the email tab, my phone bill is otherwise unchanged, I no longer have to carry around the work-issued gigundo crackberry AND my phone, and besides, SHE'S ADORABLE!

PINK!

Remember, I have a Pink Thing...

So Cheri? You can have your iPhone Boyfriend. Me, I like my new girlfriend...PinkBerry...

Someone's Working Long Hours....

[The photo above is blurry but I like that you can see my view of DC! And yes those are my bocce trophies from the firm tournament...]





That's my windowledge where I collect diet cokes until I take the long 20 foot walk down the corridor to the pantry where the recycle bin is. So how many days - or hours - of diet cokes do you think that represents? Hmmm? And for those of you who know me - those are only the ones consumed in my office . The 5.a.m. and 7:30a.m. on my way to work ones aren't there, nor the on-my-way-home ones....



Go ahead. Guess. The answer will scare you....



what - a prize? you want a prize??? ok ok winner gets my book I'm reading that I won from Mama Milton...Angry Conversations With God

This book totally rocks my socks.

So drop a comment and a guess and please oh jeez leave me an email so I know where to contact the winner.

Contest closes.....ummmm....Saturday April 25 9 a.m. EDT.....

Best Google Search Ever to Land Here

"married lady next door got nice big titties" That just cracked me up. His/her search landed some doozys. But he/she chose my blog to read from the results. Funny!

Most people just google "next door 2 my ex." [really Ken just bookmark the site - or even Better, become a follower! It's so much easier!] every once in a while there will be some random google search. But this one, for some reason, just totally cracked me up. Who googles like that??!! did he think he'd find a photo of his neighbor on the website?

I looked down and thought Frick I better not have a meeting today.

Day 2 of Back to School, back to kids, back to Life - oh but I'm still in 16-hour-a-day-Pretrial Mode.

I have finally convinced the 16 YEAR OLDS to make their own lunches. Whaddaya know they can do dishes and even - gasp - make breakfast. So I'm getting help there. It's crunch time people and I need a team effort.

I awoke early this morning, took Queen Bee and Stinky out, made time for my 10 minute trainer - oh BTW in which he lies b/c they stop that little 10 minute clock every time they change moves, so it's really closer to 12 minutes plus warm up and hey I need 20 minutes to do my 10 minute training. But I digress...

After showering, listening to radio, hear Big Accident on our normal route - oh and we are out of gas in the car and it was raining too hard to go get gas last night. Frick Frick Frick.

Hurry up, yell to children to hurry up, grab an outfit. Do I have a meeting today? Don't remember - better wear at least a semi-suit. [we have "dress your day" - I can wear fairly casual business clothes or a suit, depending. On Fridays it's jeans or capris in the summer. Unless I have a meeting. Who plans meetings on Fridays? Not me]

Grab my old standby Talbots purple silk suit. Not really PURPLE but kind of deep purply blueish. Properly muted as only Talbots would. White shell? Naaah that's boring. Hey there's an old shell I never wear - has some purple in it, a little muted green, some grey a little black. Perfect. Throw it on. Realize I can't find my hair straightener - maybe it's at work. Hurry Hurry run run. Finish packing lunches (what? they need checking - yep they forgot the fruit) and do Son's breakfast to go. Get in car a couple minutes earlier than normal, which is about 10 minutes later than we should have.

Get the kids to school on time - small miracle - get in the driver's seat (kids do the driving to school) look down at myself in the now sunlight and realize FRICK I DO NOT MATCH. Not even a little. The purple in the shell? A bright lilacky purple that in no way can even be in the same color family as my suit. You know how when colors are in the same family but not right they're worse than say, wearing Green and orange? Yeah. It's like that.

And I mentally run through my day and think, "Please God Don't let me have a meeting today."

And then I wonder how awake my Daughter was this morning - you know, the one driving? the one who is quick to tell me how terrible I look? Did she really not NOTICE this ensemble before we left the house?!

Note to self: Keep white shell on back of office door, just in case....

An Easter Gift

Saturday, the day before Easter, I knocked out a ton of the chores on my list, then turned to Work and Trial Prep.



Sitting on the couch with Stinky while Queen Bee snored in her bed on the floor, around 7pm I heard my text ring. Daughter with a message: "We're heading home tonight [a full day early] - around 1030 or 11 will u be up?" YES!!!!! She said she'd come right over.



Now I am not deluding myself into thinking she's coming over to see me. No - I know after 7 or 8 days away from her Precious Stinky, she was coming over to see her Puppy. But I'll take her any way I can get her.



She came running in, bubbling with information and excitement over the prospective college visits and sharing with me the details of her acceptance into the Peer Ministry program** at her high school.



I shouldn't be catty, I know, but can I say I was grateful when I heard the words, "Don't ever make me go anywhere ever again with Dad and Brother....." And other comments about how much she missed me and how I would've understood what she wanted or expected. This the girl who gave me pretty much the cold shoulder before leaving on her trip. Ah the fickleness of a Teenager.



I am excited to know she has found a couple of schools she really likes - and that she is back to thinking she wants to go to school in FLORIDA. YEAH!! (her first choice school is currently in Florida! Yeah! But we're a LONG way from a decision) I'm glad the trip was a success and she has more of an idea where she wants to go. I'm soooooo glad she missed me. Really missed me. And, get this, apparently appreciates me and how much I understand her!



Huh?



Oh doesn't hurt that I just happened to have chocolate cake waiting for her - she gave up Chocolate for Lent. She hung out with me til midnight and then scarfed it down. And said THANKS more times than I could count. Who says you can't buy love with Chocolate Cake?!



Son came over, too, for a bit. Mostly to steal Queen Bee. DRD wasn't next door that night - she was still at the kennel, so Son wanted a Dog, too. I traded him Queen Bee for his attendance at Church on Easter. What? Can't I bribe him to go to Church? I think Jesus would approve...maybe.



Anyway, Son is a bit more into the college search thing now. He thinks he still wants to go Way North so he can snowboard. But he's keeping an open mind. Both kids have completely and totally crossed of Ex's school from their list. I'm convinced Ex is not going to be happy unless one of the kids goes there. But they both do not like his school - waaaay too big. I figured that out a long time ago, but kept my mouth shut. At this stage in the game, I want the kids to try to whittle things down themselves without being told how to think. Aren't they supposed to be preparing for college? Somehow they have to get this through their dad's head.



So Easter Morning the kids showed up. Our church is very casual, but being Easter I asked, "Please no jeans." Son went waaaay further than that and donned a tie. So handsome! Daughter took some of "our" clothes - we have a few outfits we've bought together that we technically share. We laughed when we realized we were all in shades of blue.

So my "first holiday alone"? Yeah, not so much. It was a wonderful Easter Surprise.

Lucky 8

I'm a bit behind on my Tag from ModernMom - Sorry! She cracks me up and has great music while you're reading, so check her out and her 8 things.

Here's my Lucky 8:

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

1. MEETING THE BITCHES IN MAY AT THE "MEMORIALBITCH FEST!"

2. Going to Bed Tonight

3. going to Spain with the kids in June

4. Planting my spring flowers

5. Getting in Shape

6. Seeing Billy Joel & Elton John "Face2Face" in July with the kids, the Captain and my Bro & SIL

7. Talking to My mom again - we just hung up the phone and I can't wait to talk to her again. She's just like that.

8. Seeing my CT family - don't know when that will be, but I miss them.

8 Things I did Yesterday:

1. Partied a little too hard with my Bro and SIL and co-worker.

2. Snorted out loud, several times, on the Metro. See #1.

3. Called the Captain. Several Times. Giggling. See #1.

4. Helped my Pro Bono client find a job instead of seeking welfare.

5. Hit the Partner in the head with the Flying Slingshot Monkey. No, not related to #1. Before #1. My aim was off - I was shooting for his computer screen. Fortunately he laughed and joined us for a drink. And More fortunately He left before the snorting began....

6. Successfully (?) juggled multiple cases and felt a little better about my abilities.

7. Lost a 1/2 pound.

8. Went to bed before midnight (ok passed out on my brother's hotel couch...see #1).

8 Things I wish I could do:

1. Join the Captain on his 4 week cruise to the Bahamas.

2. Fly (without an airplane)

3. Make the annoying Drummer Man STOP once and for all.

4. Write better.

5. Have more patience.

6. Lose 10 pounds.

7. Be a better friend.

8. See my mom and dad more.

8 Shows I Watch:

1. I don't watch TV. maybe 1 time every few weeks. but If I did? I might watch Idol, or Boston Legal, or Seinfeld reruns, or House. OH I do watch the Gilmore Girls Reruns.

8 People I Tag:

Well, I don't believe in tagging People. But I will share 8 Bloggers I love to read when I can take the time:

1. Jenn at Juggling Life

2. Suz at Day by Day

3. Cheri at Blog this Mom

4. Katy at Katydidnot

5. Stephanie at Bad Mom.

6. Kalynne Philosopher Mom (9 kids. really)

7. My Cousins at Oz and Duck Feet.

8. ChiTown Girl

(OK look at the blogs I follow- there are lots more!)

Prompt Tues Uh Thursday oh What-Ever

She lifted the smudged glass to her lips, stopped mid-raise with that familiar lopsided smile and whispered, “This is the last you’ll see of me.”

He didn't hear her of course. He was too busy in his self-absorbed world putting on his "I'm-All-That" attitude with some equally egotistical "Yeah well I'm-the-Bag-Of-Chips" BUSI-ness man. She didn't care. She had never cared about all that. At first he claimed he didn't either. He said, "You know how it is, babe. I halfta do that kind of stuff. "

Babe. That should've been her first clue. The way he called her Babe. Not endearing-like, but more Ownership-like. Property. That's what he thought she was. His Little Trophy.

Did he think she was stupid with her blond hair and big eyes and big boobs? What scientist determined there was no room left for a brain?

She had tried to leave before, but he managed to call her back - drag her back really. Threatening her in his "I'm not really threatening you" way. And kept her close by keeping control of all the money, all the credit cards, all the property. But this time? She had him. In his pea-brained, big-ego'd head, he had used his boat stats as his password. It wasn't hard to figure out - he bragged about the damned boat all the time. Did he think she didn't know about cookies and on-line banking and wire transfers? She checked the balances right before dinner as he swaggered around the house, puffing up this all important dinner meeting.

And now? She just smiled and took pleasure in the absolute power of telling him, right to his face, as she lifted the smudged glass to her lips, stopped mid-raise with that familiar lopsided smile and whispered, “This is the last you’ll see of me.”

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It's been a while since I've played - this is San Diego Momma's Prompt Tuesday. Check it out, and the rules, here.

Thanks SDMomma!

When Oz Came to Visit ME

Once upon a time there were 4 siblings born in Pennsylvania, each 5 years apart. The first two siblings managed to each have 5 kids - each having one at almost the same time, so they had a matching cousin. Now the older 3 of each set were lucky enough to see their cousins with some frequency. But the baby cousins, who are but a month apart? Yeah they were lucky to see each other one time a year.

When the baby cousins were about 8, the grandparents had a 50th wedding anniversary. Everyone dressed waaaaaay up b/c that's what you did in the 70's. And the siblings hired a professional photographer for their parents' party. The grandchildren all gathered for a special photo. The older grandchildren made faces and were silly, but when the photographer said, "Get serious." they did. But they forgot to tell the baby cousins, who didn't know when to stop. In the days before digital cameras. And so, when the very expensive professional photos came back, the 2 baby cousins were making AWFUL faces. And they got beaten. KIDDING. (Hey my mom reads this blog!)

Fast forward 34 years. Those baby cousins haven't seen each other in .... 10 years? But the true baby - JO over at Merry Ol' Land of Oz - has taught her cousin to blog. So they have kept in touch. And when they got together? Well they had to take pictures. But some things you just never live down....


Yeah, it was kind of like that 34 years ago. Yeah Jo I know you want to totally kill me right about now. You are younger and all that so I can apparently still make you do silly things!

Awwwww that's better....


And the King? Yeah he was a HUGE hit just as I knew he would be. There's Son enjoying having a little brother, if only for a night.

The three teens, just months apart, enjoyed the night, even though they hadn't seen each other in....10 years? I think the Cadet (middle) was enjoying thinking he was the tallest... (and yes those are the "twins" at 1 YO in the background. I still adore those photos even if they embarrass the hell out of my kids!)

While the Big Kids went on the trampoline, the King sat totally absorbed in Halo or whatever the Big Kids left on XBox360....the scary part was the King knew exactly how to play it.

And with a HO HO HO and a Tra la la, it was time to go...It was waaaaay too short of a visit. Come back soon My Merry People of Oz!

Aloha Friday

Welcome to this week’s edition of Aloha Friday brought to you by Island Life.

I need an easy Friday post, so I've joined her Aloha Friday. She explains:

In Hawaii, Aloha Friday is the day that we take it easy and look forward to the
weekend. So I thought that on Fridays I would take it easy on posting,
too.
Therefore, I’ll ask a simple question for you to answer. Nothing that
requires a lengthy response. Post your answer in my comments.

My question of the week for you:

Have you ever spent a holiday alone? If yes why? If no, would you want to?

My answer: I am spending my first holiday alone this Sunday: Easter. The kids are away with their dad. My family is too far away (because my work schedule will not allow me to travel to them) and I am not comfortable spending it with the Ex's family. So I will go to church alone - although I will sit with friends there - and then I will come home. I have plans to spend the
day with friends, but we are doing a very UnEastery, UnReligious thing by going to a Steeple
Chase. It will be fun, but weird. This is Easter after all.

No suits and ties.

No Easter Egg Hunt.

But I am not sad. Just experiencing something different.

How in the Hell?

.....is my daughter posting to facebook from the road? From her "iphone" (according to Facebook)? And how much is this costing me??? She doesn't have an iphone....


Or she didn't when she left.


Maybe they're using my iTouch with wireless apps from various hotels?

---------------------------------------------------------

am I supposed to take care of life (or even want to) when I'm knee deep in Work? For example, the following items are on my home "to do" list:

-change oil in both cars

- major car checkup on little car (warning lights flashing crazily)

- grocery shop - I am down to critical and out of diet coke. nothing else matters

- get dog food. Almost as critical as diet coke. but dogs can eat cereal. they don't care

- get dress or find something to wear to friend wedding in 2 weeks. naked probably not an option.

- pay bills - electricity and heat aren't optional

- clean? ah hell, put in the "optional" column....

- plan trip to spain - buy tickets, rent car, pick hotels, contact friends

- plant spring flowers

- prune trees been on to do list for 11 years, time to do it...

- 6 weeks overdue on followup for surgery appointment....

- take son for MRI

- finish daughter's lab work

- order prescriptions

- eye appointment

etc etc etc.......

But blogging? Clearly a necessity. Don't ask....

Where Work and Life Collide

Many conflicting thoughts this weekend and as the new week begins.

This year, the kids spend Spring Break with the Ex. Nevermind that he kind of forgot to tell me that "Spring Break" to him means two weeks (my week included) as well as a few days off from school. that fight is there and gone.

As the kids packed to leave, excited at their prospect of a week with cousins, traveling south to visit colleges with dad along for the ride, I had such conflicting thoughts.

1) Glad they are spending time with cousins. They don't get that enough;
2) glad they are getting the "college tour" thing started;
3) devastated that I am not there with them.

Nevermind that I have been at work for 14 hours already today and am posting before going home. nevermind that I have a trial in 3 weeks and DO NOT HAVE TIME for college visits. Nevermind that 1/2 the colleges on the list my Daughter has no interest in and ALL of the college are of Zero interest to Son.

It doesn't matter. These are my babies. And I should be visiting colleges with them.

As the Captain Held me Sunday as I sobbed all of the above to him, he said, "Be thankful you feel this way about your children. Rejoice that you love them so much that you want to be with them. And embrace it. Then let it go and go do your job. Your children still love you."

Daughter called me this afternoon after the first visit - sadly I couldn't take the call as I was with clients in our meeting. But I called her back, chatted with the Cousins, and we're going to try again later.

Sometimes the Captain? yeah I think he might be God's personal messenger....

Amazing Surprises on the Morning Commute

Today I took the road less travelled to work. Ok not really because that doesn't exist in DC. But I did take the Beach Road (why do they call it that? There's no beach. It just makes me wish I were on one) through Rock Creek Park to work. Well, not to work. I had to go pick up Someone Special at the airport after dropping the kids at school. And I remembered that you could go from the kids' school to the airport this back way.

Thank you mr. Garmin.

For those of you not familiar with Rock Creek Park, it's the Nation's first federal park, right in the heart of the city. Which means you can commute to work, surrounded by trees and birds and deer and plants, going 25 mph on tiny 2-lane roads built long before the SUV existed. Daffodils and cherry blossoms fill the air this time of year. Even in the down pour this morning, I was taken aback by the breathtaking beauty of this enormous national park, sitting quietly between the raceway of 16th street a few block left and Connecticut avenue a few blocks right (at least for some of it.).

The commute can be confusing through the park - my trusty GPS wound me through all the twists. Of course it would have been a safe bet to follow the 378,000 other cars going the same way.

As I got closer to the city, I travelled familiar roads I ran a couple years ago in the Marine Corp. Marathon. And I smiled at those memories - looked up at the bridges overhead and remembered the throngs of people cheering and waving and giving me the energy to Keep Moving.

But what I didn't expect was to come out of the park, winding past the Pentagon and the beauty of the city as I made my way to the airport. As I drove past the enormous edifice and the endless parking lots on the other side of the street, I took a moment to Remember. And pray for our Troops and their families. And appreciate the beauty surrounding me.

It is an amazing city. Amazing to be lost in the woods just minutes from the White House. We complain about our traffic here - all the time, 24/7. But sometimes you find the road less travelled, at least by you, and you are reminded of the gifts of living here.

Tomorrow, we will enjoy spectacular temperatures just in time for the Peak Cherry Blossoms. the Captain and I are looking forward to a day celebrating Spring!

Image courtesy google images http://enjoylifeandprosper.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/washingtondc20cherry20blossoms202.jpg

Apparently they Really meant a Sampler for 4....

Another late night at the office, so we (My 1 colleague and I) decided the Client gets to buy us dinner (it's kind of a rule in my business). Not many places deliver around my office at night. Pretty Silly. But the Chop House restaurant is just next door and you can do pick up. And they have a menu online. Yum.

We didn't want "dinner." We needed something that "travels well." So we started with the spinach and artichoke dip. Then we got the "Chop Appetizer Sampler [for 4]." But this was dinner, so we figured appetizers for 4 = dinner for 2. My colleague is a verrrry tall young man who gets to eat a lot of calories every day because of his sheer size. I hate him. [jk]

And we walked out of the restaurant with 2 large shopping bags of food. 2. Large. Like Department Store Large handle bags large.

WTF? "Appetizer sampler" 4 Shrimp, 4 chicken fingers, a whole plate of calamari, 4 giantic onion rings, giant portobella mushroom, marinated peppers, a serving of corn bread. Oh and the dip, too.

I think I gained 5 pounds tonight. So much for my 10 minute training...yeah that's not going so well this week.