Farewell to Shoes ...

Changes are coming in my life.  It's time to tighten the financial belt and stop the incessant spending that has taken over.

Ever since Independence Day (September 1, 2007) I have enjoyed my financial freedom along with the freedom to wear what I want, cook what I want, listen to music when I want...the list is endless.

Now, however, I find myself facing some big changes.  I am selling the house and moving (still not sure where yet - first I have to sell the house!).  I am downsizing.

I am also shedding 90% of all my old furniture.  It is full of baggage I don't care to carry with me any longer.

Obviously I will need some new things when I land.  And I will have some expenses in the moving.

And so?  I have declared myself on a Strict Financial Diet.  let's hope this is more successful than my other diets... 

Step one of the diet?

No More New Shoes.

These, then, were my Farewell to Shoes...even though I didn't know it at the time...

Alas New Shoes, I knew you well....

A New Kind of Love

Some think I am a bit bizarre. But I have found at least one who shares my love.

Yes, new love, new discoveries.

I haven't come up with a name for it yet.

"Cottage Salsa"? ""Hot cottage"? "Mexican Cottage"?

Whatever you call it, I call it bliss.

Take fat free cottage cheese. Mix in medium spicey store brand (Giant) salsa (it has corn and beans in it, delectable). And eat.

Most scoff at me. One friend at work stopped laughing long enough to pick up a spoon.

I am the next Emeril. Try it. I dare you.

and oh shoosh it doesn't matter if I might have discovered this one night after quite a few drinks. It tastes good even without the tequila. So be quiet.

FOUND: PERFECT Cold Remedy

Sitting in my snotty bed, strewn with tissues, spare papers from the Complaint I was drafting for a client today, purse overflowing with pens and checkbook and things Son wanted, wallowing in my sickness, head still hurting, breathing worse not better, lamenting missing my indoor game, back hurting from sitting improperly all day, tired of being sick. [NOTE: Girl Next Door is a wimpy-assed sick girl. Cold? Oh no I am sure I'm dying of pneumonia - double pneumonia even!! ]

It's 7pm, my game has officially started without me, my Complaint is submitted, and I'm hungry. Sympathy Hungry. [iTouch diet? Shhhh he's sleeping in his charger and won't know if I eat something and can't log it on the LoseIt! Program! Besides, I'm S-I-C-K and these calories don't count!]

I have had 47 cups of tea and I'm sick of it. I don't do juice. I've had 32 Vitamin C pills. Cold pills. Snorted Saline. Looking for The Cure.

And then - Inspiration -Thinking about a cold day in Annapolis with the Captain and an evening drink: Hot Buttered Rum

Hot like Tea
Rum like Medicine
Spices like Herbs
Butter like...slippery Vicks Vapo-rub [oh shush so I'm going to eat it, not wear it, so what?!]

But I've never made the stuff. Enter the Lovely Internet, Google "Recipe: hot buttered Rum"

Emeril pops up first - of course. And his recipe? Awesome. But no time to let this sit in the Fridge to harden. I'm in a NOW kind of mood. Click, next
Rachel Ray - fast but still not quite right. I have to do math to cut it down to one serving. (because that's all the Rum I have left after the Captain's visit). Math Sucks.
About.com - of course . Just the right amount of everything:

• small slice soft butter
• 1 tsp brown sugar
• optional spices to taste: ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, allspice
• vanilla extract
• 2 oz dark rum
• hot water

Mix the first 4 in an Irish coffee mug [hey didn't I get 4 of those as a wedding gift and have never used them 21 years and a divorce later? Perfect]

Add rum and hot water.

Carry up to bed. Get under covers. Turn on Country Music being careful not to wake iTouch Mean Man Calorie Counter. Blog and sip Medicine.

I'm feeling better already.....

Ridiculously Happy

It started as an idea two years ago as Daughter, Son and I spent spring break skiing in Vermont. Daughter said, "Whose Idea Was it to go SKIING for SPRING BREAK??!! BRRRRRR What were we THINKING?!"

And I said, "OK Senior Year I have you again for Spring Break. We'll go to the Caribbean."

It was a nice dream.

Then finances and college bills and the market crashed.

And layoffs at work, and salary cuts, and no raises.

But then, the tide started to turn back a little. I bumped myself to Full Time, the firm said some of us "might" get a raise, and quite frankly, I just said, "What's a little more money. They're leaving me in September!"

And so, WE ARE GOING TO JAMAICA! I am so ridiculously happy and excited. The kids helped me surf the web and look at dozens of resorts in many different countries. The trick? Finding a room for 5.

5?

Yeah, Me, the kids, and two of their friends. Because that would be more fun than just us.

And they each found a friend who could afford to come (they have to pay for their own ticket, although I'll pick up stuff in Jamaica).

Saturday night, we narrowed it down to the Right Place. Sunday I made the call.

We're locked and loaded. Praying for good health and good weather.

So ridiculously excited.

Oh and no, mom's not bringing a Friend. At least, that's not the current plan. Daughter did ask if the Captain was coming- she invited him along. That's another shocking post for another day. We're floating the idea, but both of us (the Captain and me) think that maybe it would be better to be just me and the kids. We're exploring the option and the kids' true feelings on that. Truthfully, it would be nice to have a guy along to keep tabs on the boys. The Captain is much savvier than I when it comes to certain things. But it might add a twinge of awkwardness. oh well, we'll sort that out another day.

Jamaica here we come.

First step - DIET!!!!

Woot!

Skinny and Bitchy or Fat and Happy?

It seems that is my choice lately - skinny and bitchy or fat and happy.

Warning Warning this post may be TMI for you! Don't say I didn't warn you - although I doubt I can come up with great code-rhymes like BlogthisMom

About a year ago I started having an internal thermometer meltdown issue. You know, one minute you're cold (used to be me, all the time) the next minute you're sweating bullets. Hmmm. I'm in my early 40's. Really, at my age? I asked my sisters who said, "REALLY."

Damned.

So on my visit to my Girly Doctor, I mentioned this, along with my bitchiness (not all of it can be blamed on the Ex). And my teariness. (ditto). So she said, "Try the Pill." Huh? At my age? Dangers? etc etc? We discussed it and she said, "Try it." So I did.

And? Internal Thermometer FIXED! Temperament BETTER! Tears WHEN APPROPRIATE! Woot!

Fast forward 6 months. Inexplicable weight gain? 10 pounds.

Fast forward 9 months. Inexplicable weight gain? 15 pounds.

Remember, I was running (up til the Knee Thing) about 20 - 30 miles a week. Hmmm.

So, a month ago, I tossed the pills.

Weight loss? (without running b/c of Knee thing) 9 pounds and counting.

Internal Thermometer? Totally broken. Tears? Daily. Bitchiness? Oh you don't want to know, but I pretty much had to put a "Beware of Rabid dog" warning sign on my office door.....

I know I know, I should go back to the Dr, get a second opinion, consult a specialist. really? When. I am bad. about. doctors. I hate them. I don't have time.

So which would you choose? fat and happy or skinny and bitchy? [keep in mind my 25 year high school reunion is in 1 month!!] And no you can't choose "Go to a dr." Which I might. No I won't. Yes I will. Ok maybe.

Someone's Working Long Hours....

[The photo above is blurry but I like that you can see my view of DC! And yes those are my bocce trophies from the firm tournament...]





That's my windowledge where I collect diet cokes until I take the long 20 foot walk down the corridor to the pantry where the recycle bin is. So how many days - or hours - of diet cokes do you think that represents? Hmmm? And for those of you who know me - those are only the ones consumed in my office . The 5.a.m. and 7:30a.m. on my way to work ones aren't there, nor the on-my-way-home ones....



Go ahead. Guess. The answer will scare you....



what - a prize? you want a prize??? ok ok winner gets my book I'm reading that I won from Mama Milton...Angry Conversations With God

This book totally rocks my socks.

So drop a comment and a guess and please oh jeez leave me an email so I know where to contact the winner.

Contest closes.....ummmm....Saturday April 25 9 a.m. EDT.....

Apparently they Really meant a Sampler for 4....

Another late night at the office, so we (My 1 colleague and I) decided the Client gets to buy us dinner (it's kind of a rule in my business). Not many places deliver around my office at night. Pretty Silly. But the Chop House restaurant is just next door and you can do pick up. And they have a menu online. Yum.

We didn't want "dinner." We needed something that "travels well." So we started with the spinach and artichoke dip. Then we got the "Chop Appetizer Sampler [for 4]." But this was dinner, so we figured appetizers for 4 = dinner for 2. My colleague is a verrrry tall young man who gets to eat a lot of calories every day because of his sheer size. I hate him. [jk]

And we walked out of the restaurant with 2 large shopping bags of food. 2. Large. Like Department Store Large handle bags large.

WTF? "Appetizer sampler" 4 Shrimp, 4 chicken fingers, a whole plate of calamari, 4 giantic onion rings, giant portobella mushroom, marinated peppers, a serving of corn bread. Oh and the dip, too.

I think I gained 5 pounds tonight. So much for my 10 minute training...yeah that's not going so well this week.

And then I clicked Yes but I knew Better...

I work in the infomercial industry - you know, 1-800-buy-my-stuff. Yes they need lots of lawyers. It's not the only kind of industry I do, but I know enough to know better than to buy that stuff. The marketers make a TON of money. Some of it works. Most of it doesn't.

Then I was home on the couch with my laptop and spoiled dogs, nursing my pussy-eyed, sinus-infected, sickly teenage son, surfing the infomercials looking for one in a current lawsuit. And I came upon the 10 minute trainer. 10 minutes a day and lose a jean size in 10 days. I scanned the fine print (I know all the rules on testimonials). I ignored the "upsells." I surfed the web for additional promo coupons or discount sites. I watched the darn thing - watched the producer who makes these infomercials all the time supposedly get sucked in to this one and try it. And of course now he has awesome abs.

The premise makes sense - stacking your workout to work multiple parts of the body at the same time.

I surfed the web and read comment boards. Dang. It seems to work. People admitted in order to lose weight and have the results on TV you have to do more than 10 minutes - for advanced results they recommend doing 3 of the 10 minute workouts a day. And duh you need to eat less. A lot less. But you can lose inches without starving yourself.

And you know what? I can find 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a day.

Something has to change. Because nothing fits. Nothing. My eating habits are horrid. My jeans do not fit. My fat jeans don't fit. My fatter, sweatpants, please-don't-let-anyone-see-me-in-these sweatpants don't fit. I don't dare wear any of my suits without Spanx.

Summer is coming. Fast. Soccer season is coming. Fast. And I can't get motivated. I've never had so much trouble!

So Tony? You and your 10 minute Trainer better get here in 5 days as promised. Because I am in need of a trainer and you are as close as I'm going to get.

Maybe in memory of the great A** Project that obviously got derailed, I will keep a counter on my blog when I start, take some stats, and see if this thing works. After all, it does have a 30 day moneyback guarantee!!

We wanna Wii to weeee weee weee all the way home...

Over at Magpie Musings she's giving away a Wii Fit. The challenge? write a story of why you deserve the Wii Fit. Here Wii gooooo.....

Wii here in Casa de Next Door endeavor to be athletes. At 8 I was the first girl on the little league boys' baseball team - "farm league." And when they needed a sub in the "minors" one age up? I volunteered. As wii crossed the field to the game, the coach asked me, "What's your name son?"
I calmly answered, "Mary Ellen."
[ Pause....wait for it.... ]
Coach: "MARY ELLEN?! You never said you were a girl!"
ME: "You never asked."
I played the greatest game of my life, batted 1000, stole 3 bases. My mother made me quit little league the next year. "Those boys throw that ball too hard." I discovered soccer...

In high school I played field hockey [no high school soccer team for girls], basketball, ran indoor and outdoor track, joined the indoor weight club (all 105 pounds of me). When I got shin splints and couldn't run, I joined the Hogs and threw the shot put (all 105 pounds of me). Wii had a blast.

In college I joined the first ever Womens' Soccer team at my University. Wii crushed teams with our indurance - Wii had no skills b/c wii had no field on which to practice. Wii ranked below the high school prep boys in field priority. So Wii ran for 2 hours every day waiting for a field to open up. In the off season Wii practiced with the coaches' old chums from high school on indoor gym floors - the coaches were Boys who checked us into the bleachers and took no mercy. All 105 pounds of us. Wii had fun.

Throughout the last 20 years I've endeavored to remain somewhat "fit." My family carries diabetes genes (we own that gene pool), heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol. It's all about fitness to win this fight. I managed to marry into an equally awful cesspool of genes, so my kids are pretty much doomed, and their father has no fitness sense and does not follow my guidelines for the kids. When they are in his house, they have different rules. But here in Casa de NextDoor, Wii have tried to train them from a young age to eat heart healthy. Wii used to run and play soccer and jump on a trampoline. Wii used to snowboard and water ski. Wii tried to stay fit. Together.

Until mamma collided with a goalie in her adult league game and wiped out her knee in June. I can't run far before it aches. I have seen a doctor and tried PT. I have given up my 10 mile competitions. Wii think mama and her joints are getting old. Mama has packed on 15 pounds and gone up a dress size. Son has tried to get Mama back out onto the road running and doesn't understand why some bodies get to a certain age and don't bounce back. Daughter wants to know why Mama can't play soccer with her any more, why Mama can't share her clothes anymore, and why mama is having trouble fitting into her dress for the big Christmas Ball. Mama is wondering if this is the beginning of the end of fitness and a healthy lifestyle. Mama never had willpower. I've never met a bag of chips I didn't like. I enjoy a big, fat juicy steak; cheese fries used to be my friend. I have combatted weight with exercise. (My kids eat way healthier than I!) But now that I can't exercise, I am struggling to redefine myself. And I am losing.

Oh and gyms and clubs and stuff? I'm a single mom working a full time job. There's this one thing called TIME and this other thing called MONEY.

Enter Wii Fit. A new idea at getting fit. In the privacy of my own home. On my time. Late at night, early in the morning, in between depositions and documents and flute lessons and driving lessons. AND a way wii can play together and encourage each other to get fit and stay fit. A way to reconnect with my teenagers who will be leaving me all too soon for college. A way to reunite with clothes I have shoved to the back of the closet. A way to stem the tide of the cesspool I call Genes.

Wii hope to see a Wii here, reaaaaally soon...

Thanks for the Obvious

QUICK POST FRIDAY

It's official - I have gained a lot of weight. Went for my rather overdue annual physical today. Yes, I am having avoidance issues. So the Dr. (a woman) says, "You've gained 10 pounds since your last physical. Not that you're fat, but wanted to make sure you knew that." OH GEE THANKS - NOPE IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO ME THAT THE ROLL OF SKIN HANGING OVER MY JEANS OR THE MYRIAD OF CLOTHES IN MY CLOSET THAT REQUIRE A CROW BAR TO GET THEM OVER MY BUTT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY WEIGHT GAIN.

10 pounds when you're only 5' 4" is a lot.

Thanks Dr. Nice way to start the weekend.

My Ass Project '08 starts for REAL on Monday (see side bar). (Broccoli is in town for the weekend for World Cup Qualifying Match and there will be much beer and food consumed. And Yes I have a feeling the alcohol and food consumption might have something to do with my weight gain.....)

WEDNESDAY STILL A FLABBY ASS

Sigh. How did another week get away from me?

Positive things I did for the 2008 Ass Campaign this week:

• Played 90 minutes of outdoor soccer and ran hard for at least 1/2 of it. DIDN'T hurt my knee in the last few minutes, despite having the opportunity. Read All about It
• Did about 100 situps/crunches every other day. Not every day. not 400. But I'm getting there
• Added squats for the flabby thighs per Sharon, my friend who is a personal trainer. They don't hurt my knee too badly.
• Drank a lot of water

Bad Bad Behavior that has Thwarted any chances at losing weight:

• Ate "loaded" french fries for dinner Saturday while shopping at the mall with the kids after secretly crying in the dressing room looking at the backs of my thighs (damned 3 way mirrors) and realizing I will never be in shape at this rate...;
• Cleaned out the conference room of Twix Bars for dinner Monday night around 1130 pm at the office and drank too many diet cokes until 130 am;
• Trying to avoid a repeat Twix incident, Tuesday ate small pizza (with grapes and goat cheese topping strange but yummy) for lunch in cafeteria, then Ordered dinner at Chop House (crab bisque and steak salad with cheese and garlic bread and corn bread - have some carbs) with paralegal as we did exhibits until 11pm;
• Wednesday dying of hunger and exhausted after 2 late nights went to Clyde's and ordered the portobella, cheese, sun-dried tomato with alioli and toasted bread sandwich;

So Um Yeah, not such a great week.

When Life Imitates Art

Ever mock a silly, stupid commercial, only later to realize they weren't lying???

As an attorney who specializes in false advertising, I watch all commercials with just a tad of skepticism. This one didn't get my attorney bells going off, I just found it annoying...



Then one day, my grocery store is running a ridiculous sale, and having chunked on a few extra pounds, I decide to load up the fridge with yummy yogurt (if there is such a thing) and get rid of the 10 pounds. I tend to stick to boring flavors like strawberry. No wonder I get tired of it after 1 day and the other 10 containers sit well past their "eat it before it tastes like a cross between sour cream and cottage cheese" date. And I see this flavor called "Apple Turnover." I like pie. I like apple pie. Apple turnovers? A sin from my youth I haven't tasted in ages. Can't even begin to count those calories. So I daringly splurge $1 on a few containers. I get home and try one...

Oh. My. Goodness. I run upstairs to Daughter, who can't even LOOK at a container of yogurt, never mind taste one. Has always Hated It. I beg her to try it - and she snatches it out of my hand after one bite and declares it "hers." I kid you not. And we start going off about how good it is. And I am embarrassed to admit, we sound like the damned commercial....

Oh, the boston creme pie and white chocolate mousse? Not so good. Definitely false advertising there. But Yoplait Light fat Free Apple Turnover? It's better than Mrs. G's secret boyfriends good...