Recovering in Charleston

Some things transcend colds, fever, ear aches, deep hacking coughing.



What, you ask, could transcend such evil, vile feelings? Being in a lovely Inn in Charleston, in 75 degrees, walking through the gorgeous campus with my Daughter, as she plans for her future.



This morning we awoke early, shared a breakfast, then made our way to campus. She set off with her future "Honors College" classmates to a class where they would discuss Western Civilization classic literature and I had a campus tour. The day developed into information, sessions, chatting with parents, educators, students.



Someday soon, my child, my babyduck, the light of my life, will be setting out on her own, in this place, to grow, learn, experience, live, do things that will help to develop her into the person she is destined to become. I am excited for her and all the things that are available to her. I am thrilled she is in a place so lovely, so cultured, so full of friendly faces and potential that will turn my lovely babyduck into a full fledged swan.

Simultaneously I am terrified and scared and dreading the future, the days and weeks without this vibrant, energetic, funny, entertaining child illuminating my every day, my nights, my weekends. She will be beyond my protective wingspan, out on her own, meeting new people, making her own decisions, sharing her stories and her laughter with strangers, with kids I haven't checked out and invited to the house and taken to the movies. She will be creating her own circle of new friends, her new life, where I am but an infrequent visitor.

I know this is something that she must do. I know I have done all I can to prepare her for this moment. I know she has good judgment, good morals, good values, and a determination to succeed. But still.....

A little part of me knows that when she leaves (and simultaneously, her Twin Brother Leaves, which is a whole other post for a whole other day) I will struggle to be happy for her amidst my sadness at saying goodbye to a truly amazing friend. Ok I know it is not "goodbye" for she will always be an integral part of my life, but it will be goodbye to the way things were. It will be hello to a whole new world - for both of us.

Dirty, Embarrassing Confessions

I didn't know about it. I swear. I'm not normally this naive. But somehow I missed it - even after all these years. It's embarrassing. And not just a little bit disgusting. My discovery horrified me.

But at least now it's clean.

And I'm here to save all of you who might not know.

That bottom shelf in the fridge - the one that holds the big drawers for the fruits and veggies -it comes out of the fridge AND it also comes apart.

I'm still sick and work is slow, so I decided to stay home today. I felt some energy kick in around 9ish and decided to tackle at least one big project. No kids this week means a fairly empty fridge, so what better time to clean the thing? It has been weeks, months, years a long time since I took everything out of the fridge and wiped it all down.

As I got to the bottom of the fridge, I took the big drawers out and began wiping the very bottom of the fridge. Somehow I bumped the shelf - the one I thought was stationary and immovable for eight years when suddenly it popped up somehow. And I realized I could take it out.

Then I became afraid. Very very afraid. What would I discover if I took it out?

Are you sure you want to know?

I discovered a little mini 4" shelf in the waaaaaay back of my fridge that this glass shelf sat on top of (the very back of the glass shelf being opaque so you can't see the mini shelf - stupid design). And red and black and blue and green things have oozed under and created quite the menagerie of disgusting, sticky puddles.

The puddles have been eradicated, and my fridge is so clean and happy.

If I have saved even one person, my personal shame and embarrassment have been worth it!

FOUND: PERFECT Cold Remedy

Sitting in my snotty bed, strewn with tissues, spare papers from the Complaint I was drafting for a client today, purse overflowing with pens and checkbook and things Son wanted, wallowing in my sickness, head still hurting, breathing worse not better, lamenting missing my indoor game, back hurting from sitting improperly all day, tired of being sick. [NOTE: Girl Next Door is a wimpy-assed sick girl. Cold? Oh no I am sure I'm dying of pneumonia - double pneumonia even!! ]

It's 7pm, my game has officially started without me, my Complaint is submitted, and I'm hungry. Sympathy Hungry. [iTouch diet? Shhhh he's sleeping in his charger and won't know if I eat something and can't log it on the LoseIt! Program! Besides, I'm S-I-C-K and these calories don't count!]

I have had 47 cups of tea and I'm sick of it. I don't do juice. I've had 32 Vitamin C pills. Cold pills. Snorted Saline. Looking for The Cure.

And then - Inspiration -Thinking about a cold day in Annapolis with the Captain and an evening drink: Hot Buttered Rum

Hot like Tea
Rum like Medicine
Spices like Herbs
Butter like...slippery Vicks Vapo-rub [oh shush so I'm going to eat it, not wear it, so what?!]

But I've never made the stuff. Enter the Lovely Internet, Google "Recipe: hot buttered Rum"

Emeril pops up first - of course. And his recipe? Awesome. But no time to let this sit in the Fridge to harden. I'm in a NOW kind of mood. Click, next
Rachel Ray - fast but still not quite right. I have to do math to cut it down to one serving. (because that's all the Rum I have left after the Captain's visit). Math Sucks.
About.com - of course . Just the right amount of everything:

• small slice soft butter
• 1 tsp brown sugar
• optional spices to taste: ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, allspice
• vanilla extract
• 2 oz dark rum
• hot water

Mix the first 4 in an Irish coffee mug [hey didn't I get 4 of those as a wedding gift and have never used them 21 years and a divorce later? Perfect]

Add rum and hot water.

Carry up to bed. Get under covers. Turn on Country Music being careful not to wake iTouch Mean Man Calorie Counter. Blog and sip Medicine.

I'm feeling better already.....

Secret Momentary Delights

Some random happenings lately that have made me smile.

1. Talking to opposing counsel in Court, apologizing for my coughing, feverish sickness transmitted by kids. She says, "OH I bet you're in those daycare years, huh?" And I say, "No they are twin 17 YO's." And her look of shock.

2. Sitting in the car in the parking lot awaiting the start of Son's Rugby game b/c it's freaking freezing outside so we're waiting til the last possible second, "talking" with the Captain, and Ex walks up to the Car, right as I'm kissing the Captain.... (I didn't promise not to be a little snarky)

3. Standing in front of the Court seemingly between a rock and a hard place, when suddenly "the Spin" hits you and you're on solid footing again.

4. Your teenagers "demanding" that you go to your Parents' house for Easter - a 6 hour drive - because they miss them.

5. Your 17 YO senior announcing she has Straight A's - despite the fact that she has already been accepted to all colleges, has received a scholarship and by all rights should have a major case of senior-itis by now but that hasn't yet dawned on her.

6. Your 17 YO Daughter and Son letting down all reservations and teaching the Captain to play Kaluki (Jamaican cards) on a Friday night, complete with insults, giggles, and down right mean card playing, showing his acceptance. Finally. (Two-fer - your teenagers playing cards with you on Friday night!)

7. Your Daughter admitting she isn't very good at breaking up with her boyfriend - and you laugh together because apparently - with the Captain here for the weekend - you have the same "problem."

8. Putting the top down on the convertible in early March.

9. Sticking to your LOSE IT "iTouch" apps diet for a whole week and actually losing weight.

10. Realizing you are within 4 weeks of your Jamaican Vacation.

11. Finally finally finally teaching Stinky Butt to roll over!!!

Beautiful Blogger Award

Aw thanks BigCityDad!

Yes Props to me because "You've got to be kidding!' [living next door to ex]. Yes at first I thought it was a great idea. Now I can't wait to move. Not for any specific reason - more just a space issue in general. So thanks for coming by and noticing!

Of course in the bloggy world, getting means giving. But First, I'm supposed to tell you 7 things about me you don't know. That might be hard, because I'm pretty much an open book here (isn't that the point of blogging? Ok for my kind of blog anyway).

1. For a hard-ass lawyer, I cry about everything. I remember crying during the McDonald's commercial on the last episode of M*A*S*H - the one where the big brother gave the little sister his last french fry? Because I was in middle school and my Big Bro was in high school and I loved him like that and hoped he loved me like that, too. So Sentimental? Um yeah, that's me.

2. other people's blood makes me want to die (OK Captain so you knew this - maybe lots of people don't). When Son smashed his fingers in the neighbor's door at 3 years old and took the tips off his fingers, neighbor didn't know whether to tend to screaming child or passing-out mama.

3. I fantasize about having a gazillion kids. Philosopher Mom? She's my hero. 9 kids, phd, awesome person. I wanted 12 kids when I was a kid - after reading "Cheaper by the dozen." When I got married I wanted 6, Ex wanted 1. After many years of trying, I got a 2-for-1 special and we quit there. Many days I regret that - but it would have had to be many kids with a different Man.

4. I fantasize about singing like Kelly Clarkson or Barbara Streisand. I know I can't sing for crap and that it sometimes hurts people's ears to listen, but in my shower or a crowded bar full of drunk people? I AM the next American Idol! And no matter the song, I know ALL the words. It's a gift. Some call me the Human Radio (wait is that two things?)

5. I'm going to die when my kids go to college. OH don't give me that "freedom" and "they're growing" and "next stage" crap. I'm going to die. They are so awesome and I love it that when they are with me so are all their friends. My house is so crowded with overflowing shoes and food wrappers and soda cans and laughter and hugs, I love it. There I said it.

6. I love football and wish I had been a boy - a big boy - just so that I could've strapped on the pads and done some serious headknocking. Boys got all the fun sports. I played in the neighborhood until middle school when it became uncool for boys to be tackling me. Man I missed the many hours of playing "kill the man with the ball." Being a girl sucked then.

7. I love tonic water. OK sometimes with Gin or Rum, but I also love plain tonic water (diet even!). It's yummy. Add a splash of lime juice and it is awesome. Really.
So now bloggers I admire!

Wow that's hard - I love everyone. But I am going to choose the unusual - none of my commenters! They all know I love them to pieces and they are loyal fans. And win lots of awards. Here are my newbies:

1. My friend started a money advice blog at The Money Heifer. Now my friend is not a multi-million dollar salary earner.** She works for the government, is single, and is the most amazing, talented, dedicated saver I have ever met. She's an awesome friend, too. Check her out - she is wise on the money issues let me tell you! **edited to add: I mean this as the highest compliment - I think it's easy for "big money" people to tout advice that may or may not be "real." The Money Heifer, however, is someone we can relate to, someone who shows us that we can do this just as she has! I realized after writing this that this might have come out as less than a compliment!

2. OK This is how pathetic I am lately - I am going to name EVERYONE ELSE to Beautiful Blogger. Because truthfully? Although I always give the award to the same people (I am such a non-reacher-outer) I love my bloggy buddies. I Love Cheri (who I wish would write more b/c she's amazing), I love my cousin JO for too many reasons to list, I love Suzy who has such energy and ORGANIZATION and lives in a warm climate, I love Jenn who is truly Juggling life, Katydidnot makes me laugh out loud and spit things out my nose, ChiTown girl makes me think twice about hating the cold Chicago weather, Bumpkin stops by and cheers me up, Debbie at Etc Etc Etc cracks me up but makes me feel badly for being a wimp about life when she's living 1/2 way around the world from her peeps and thriving!, Loving Jason and his unique family because his courage sometimes make me cry and often makes me laugh, I love my cousin DF for his wisdom and telling me the hard things sometimes, I love and am amazed at my cousin at DuckFeet who keeps it all together in her uber-brilliant way, (My cousins taught me to blog by the way!), I love HulaGirl for her Buffet-ways and her awesome photos. I know I forgot some (add Philosopher Mom Here).... You can all claim the button (or not) and play along (or not). No worries.

Thanks again BigCityDad. So Nice to make new friends in the BlogOSphere.

When Not Passing a Bar is OK

Thanks to the well wishers and positive peeps out there who give me more credit than I deserve. The whole "not passing the bar" thing has nothing to do with my intelligence or lack thereof - I know I can pass a bar (unless it's having a GREAT happy hour), but I also know you really have to study. A Lot. I met lots of practicing attorneys who were there taking it the second time because, surprise surprise, they didn't have time to study the first time.

But I asked you all "why didn't I study when I had the chance?" And kudos to Suzy who hit it spot on: I simply wasn't ready.

And I think this all has to do with The Big Move, which in many ways resembles The Big Divorce. For many years I knew I wanted to be Divorced from Ex, but the actual doing part was so hard. There were kids to consider, and stuff, and moving, and splitting up, and telling people, and being an outcast and admitting certain failures, and hiring a lawyer, and filing court papers. Etc etc etc. But finally, after many years I got up the courage, set the wheels in motion, and pulled the plug.

And Now? It feels great and I know it was the right thing to do.

Looking back on the Florida Bar experience this week, I realize that just going and taking the test, even without studying, was the right thing to do. It helped me focus, made the decision more real. And now I know that I do want to pass this - I do want to make plans to move. I might not move this year or next, but I want to position myself so that when the time is right - when the job is right and it feels right with the kids - then I will be in a position to Go.

As my sister told me, "How do you eat that elephant? One bite at a time...."

Thanks Sissy.

When Soliciting Recommendations is WRONG

For the dreaded Bar Exam I stayed at a dive. I pretty much figured it would be a dive. I am spoiled, used to staying in 5 star hotels for work (when someone else is paying the bill) but I? Am cheap. So I moved myself out of the beautiful $300/nite Westin, figuring "I'm just going to sleep there." and booked a room at less than 1/2 price at the Howard Johnson.

Now I did check the reviews at Hotels.com. And surprisingly, there were hundreds of reviews and most of them positive. They were qualified with "for the price... " and yes I'm not dumb enough to think I was getting the Ritz.

But now that I am here, I have discovered WHY there are so many "positive" reviews. "Write a positive review, get a free drink."

Well Duh. Who wouldn't lie for a free drink? ME THAT'S WHO. (Wait I mean who wouldn't lie on a review. Because I'm pretty sure I've told some whoppers in my past to some unsuspecting member of the male persuasion in exchange for a drink or three). As a frequent traveler , I count on those reviews to an extent as a check on "do I really want to stay there?"

And I have to say, this is abuse. And when I get home I am going to write a scathing review that lets these companies know that HJ IS SOLICITING PERJURY!

This place is a dive. And I have promised myself that if I study for the test in July, then I get to stay at a good hotel! That, my friend, is incentive. Believe me.