Seasons? We have seasons!!

People ask me all the time, "Do you miss the seasons?"

What?

We have seasons.

For example, like the buds that first push through the ground in March up north, they start to appear here, except in October.

They come, first one by one, parking themselves in the center lane of A1A, aka Beach Road.  As October turns to November and then December, it becomes a cacophony of car carriers, convoyed down the center line, offloading the Caddies, Buicks, Lincolns, the occasional Bentley and Rolls Royce.  The trucks line up, nose to tail nose to tail, like the thousands of tulips I would see in the north in the spring, bringing to us the joys of the season.  The transportation has arrived, awaiting the flock of snow birds in their wake.

Shortly after the car carriers comes the awakening of the condos, the long covered over windows and sliders opening their eyes as the hurricane shutters go to storage.  Buildings, long silent and sleepy, awaken to the wheelchairs, walkers, and grocery carts of the snow birds.

High Season is here.

We go a little slower along A1A, the headless drivers going well below the speed limit.  But instead of impatience I thank them for the opportunity to look left and right along the beach, thankful for the sunshine, the light breeze, the top down and the birds flying overhead.  If I had been traveling my normal speed I might have missed this.

We drive downtown on a Friday night, wondering why we can't get all the way downtown.  Then we remember "HIGH SEASON." That means roads closed, a live band (FREE) downtown, dancing with our neighbors and friends, enjoying the peaceful evening, the slight chill in the air, the seasonal specials and good feelings of those on vacation.

Ah yes.  High Season.  Just one of the Seasons of South Florida.

So no, I do not miss the seasons.  I recognize a different kind of changing seasons.  And Love it just as much
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Another Other Side of a Year

Once upon a Blog I posted THIS.  Indeed a year and a half ago I wondered about things like this:

  Next year is sure to be rather momentous for all of us.  I can only hope that a year from now, I am again celebrating our strong bonds and our accomplishments!

Most of that post was about the kids - how they had changed after a year of college - their bonds, our bonds.  And I was contemplating the big move to Florida - would we survive as a family unit?

Now I am at the other side of a year and I think perhaps some of you are wondering how things are going. (Thank you Chitown Girl for hanging in there and checking in, even when I didn't respond....)


A little over a year ago when we all started contemplating Christmas plans for 2011, I was again stressing, terrified, stewing.  OK OK I was overanalyizing and obsessing (happy mom?!).  Would the kids feel comfortable in the "new" house?  How would they do when the Captain's kids came for Christmas?  How would they intermingle with the Captain's family?  Would it feel like Christmas?  Would they come....and would they ever come back.

I wrote the kids both a long email about the upcoming holidays 2011.  I laid it all out for them - how I felt about them, how important they were, but how I had to get on with my life, too.

They responded in a way that shocked me, but honestly it should not have.  They responded with love, with caring, and with a little bit of the Family Sarcasm, "Really mom?  You stress too much.  We love you.  We love the Captain.  It's all good."

The holidays were wonderful.  We took them sailing for New Year's Eve and Son, who has been sailing since 2 years old said, "This is the BEST sailing ever!"  Yes, the Captain is a bit more of a free spirit on the boat than my old family and I have to say, sailing is a lot of fun.

Spring break came, and so did the kids.  Lots of them.  Our tiny 3 bedroom beach house had 8 college kids (well mostly just 6, but one night we had some extras).  They shared one bathroom, did the towels, did the grocery shopping, shaped up one night when I ranted about the mess I was tired of coming home to after a long day at work, and generally we had a BLAST.

 

Fast forward to summer and where did Daughter opt to live?  In Sunny Florida with me!  Yes it was hard for her - her friends were in MD, she was lonely.  But she got a great job, her friends came to visit, we had a blow out week(s) of celebration when her brother, his girlfriend, and his best friend came for almost 2 weeks right before she went to spend the semester abroad.

 

Son then opted NOT to go back to school.  And where does he live?  Why right here with me in sunny Florida!  Yes he is bored many times.  But he found a job, has saved a signficant amount of money (no one to go play and party with!) and he has gotten his stuff together to go study abroad next semester just like Sister!!

 

This year the holidays again are at my house.  Their dad is a bit of a Grinch so they say.  And this year Son declared, "this Christmas is going to be the best ever.  It won't be all, 'Hey nice house Captain and nice to meet your son,' it will be 'Hey Forr Good to see you again I missed you!' and jokes and shopping with the Captain.  Great times mom!" 

 

Just days after Christmas, Daughter and Son will leave for dad's house.  I will see Daughter sometime in January to deliver the car she uses (she flies to his house, he drives her to school).  I will see Daughter in the spring for the annual Bridge Run.  Son will be off to Spain and I'm not sure when I'll see him.  They have both decided to take summer classes - he to catch up, she to add a couple more languages to her life (4 is not enough?!). 

 

The old me would have sweated the future, "When will I see them again?  Do they love me?  Do they regret this move?"  The new me knows unequivocally that my children and I share a very special, very strong bond.  We will weather any storm together.  And even if they live 1/2 way around the world, our hearts will always be together.

 

Yes indeed the other side of another year is looking very bright.

 

Only a Lawyer Could Get Lost Going to Court

You may or may not know that I am severely directionally challenged.

Today I was on the other side of the law - the Juror.  Called to Jury Duty.

The instructions said arrive at 7:45.  Right.  I happen to know nothing happens in that Courthouse (or any courthouse) that involves juries before 9am.  Last time I got called to Jury Duty and actually showed up at the "appointed" time I sat for 90 minutes waiting.  So I figured I'd get there around 8ish.

I left a little later than anticipated.  So 8 would be a hustle.

But around 8 I was approaching the courthouse.  Or So I Thought.

I turned a block early to catch the better parking (forget what the jury instructions said about parking.  Amateurs.).  I looked for the parking garage I knew behind the Courthouse.  No Parking Garage.  No Courthouse.  Huh?

Drove around and around and around a few block for 10 minutes.  WTF  did they move the Courthouse?!  OK I've only been to this one once because I practice all over the state, but seriously?  I've been downtown dozens of times at an opposing lawyer's office who is right behind the courthouse....OMG he's right behind the FEDERAL courthouse and I need the STATE courthouse.  I am an idiot.  And totally blanking on where the state courthouse is.

Finally I start to panic at 8:10 and pop up the GPS.  Oh my holy hell I'm 4 blocks off and have to cross the damn bridge I've been avoiding because I thought for SURE it was on this side of the bridge.  I forget a parking garage all together, dump it at a meter out front and run in at 8:15.

I get to the Jury room, literally hundreds of people are there, sitting in the dark, staring at the dumb girl coming in 1/2 hour late, and getting all kinds of instructions.  That I'm missing.  But really? I think I know what I'm supposed to do.

So the really nice (not kidding) woman from the clerk's office asks me about my parking ticket validation.  I say, "Oh I'm at a meter."  And a look of horror crosses her face as she informs me a meter won't do as I'll likely be there ALL DAY.  Then I have to admit.  "OK I'm a lawyer, totally directionally challenged and couldn't find the juror parking garage."

So she hands me THIS:

And there it is, in giant letters and arrows, how to go around the block and magically find the juror parking garage.  At least I'm not the first person who couldn't find the juror lot.

But this kind lady takes it one step further.  She points to the windows, orients me behind the map in the proper geographic position and says, "HERE is where we are, HERE is where your car is HERE is where the garage is."  GO!

Only a lawyer like me could get lost going to the Courthouse.

And of course I spent the whole day there and did not get picked for a jury.  Which I would have LOVED.  Hell I didn't even get as far as a jury PANEL.

Sigh.

Time To ReName The Blog!

OK OK I know this is way overdue.  Probably somewhere I said something about "June 1."  HA  That was funny.

What have I been doing?  OHHHH changed jobs, gave the house a 2nd overhaul, picked my daughter up from Italy, went down to Ft. Lauderdale twice in a month, packing, organizing, LEFT MY JOB AT MY FIRM where I had been for 9 years.  That was my first true career job.  And it was soooo hard to leave.  My last week was epic.  I still can't believe I have left.

SO on to the naming thing.  There have been some funny/cute/thoughtful/off the wall suggestions (in no particular order):

• High Heels to Flip Flops (Suz)
• 1000 Miles from my Ex (Yogurt)
• Tin Cup Chalice (Cristy)
• Behind Door #2 (Hula Girl)
• As Far Away From the Ex as I can Get (Jenn)
• Moved Not Murdered (Shirley)
• Many States Away From My Ex (ChiTown Girl)
• Far Away From that Assbag (Chitown Girl)
• See Ya, Sucka! (Chitown Girl)
• Why Didn't I do This Sooner? (ChiTown Girl)
• Life with the Captain (ChiTown Girl)
• Finally Free In Florida (ChiTown Girl)

And I have thought of a few of my own:

• She Sailed Away
• SouthBound
• New Latitude, New Attitude
• Come Sail Away
• Legally Blonde in Flip Flops
• EX Next Door To My Ex
• Charting a New Course

As much as I love some of the blog titles "kissing off" the Ex, I think this next phase of my life is about me, not him.  So I will pass on those titles (although Moved Not Murdered might be a step away and therefore a possibility....)

I need to remember how to set up a poll on the side of the blog.  Considering my pathetic blogging of late (I picked up 24 new cases in my first two days on the new job - I'm a little busy!!!!!), I will wait until July to have the voting run.  For now, Please Drop a Comment and Vote for a New Blog Name! (Or leave your own thoughts).

Moving On....

Word is out.  I'm moving.

What's that you say, you know my house is for sale?

No, I'm seriously moving on.

To Florida!  YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT!

I am so excited.  Scared.  Happy.  Eager.  A bit anxious.

I have a new job in Florida working "in-house" which means no more billable hours, no more marketing,  no more cool shoes because I can't afford them  - oh well.

Yes, I am moving closer to the Captain.  A.  Lot.  Closer.  We are not sure yet if we are sharing a roof.  But we are definitely going to be in the same town.  Imagine.  Dinner together.  Perhaps Breakfasts together.  Working out together.  Maybe catching a movie.  Doing chores.  Gardening.  Trips to Home Depot. 

I seriously cannot wait.

I told BossMan yesterday that I am leaving.  It was really really hard to do.  I do love my Big DC Firm.  I love my friends here (9 years worth!).  I have a great firm and my practice group is one of the best in the country in our practice area.  I have a LOT of friends here.  And it will be hard to leave.

They have tried to woo me back.  But they just can't compete with the CAPTAIN!

I am not moving until the end of July/beginning of August.  I still have a house to sell.  I have kids coming from Spain in July.  But I am leaving my Firm June 10, flying to Ft. Lauderdale June 10, picking up my new laptop and new blackberry and a pile of cases June 13, and flying back to MD June 15 where I will "work from home" until late July.  Sweet deal.

It's an adventure to be sure.  It's a lot of change all at once, but changes I have been contemplating for years.  I think it's the right thing, the right opportunity, and I'm excited!  When I'm not trembling. 

And? My Firm offered me a safety net - in writing - that if it doesn't work out, I can come "home."  I told you it's an awesome place that will be hard to leave.

But coming home from work and looking out on the water, hold the Captain's hand and staring out at the sunset?  Priceless 

Yes the "Change the title of the Blog" contest is still on - so now this gives you more ideas, right?  You still have until June 1 to suggest titles!!!!

When Not Passing a Bar is OK

Thanks to the well wishers and positive peeps out there who give me more credit than I deserve. The whole "not passing the bar" thing has nothing to do with my intelligence or lack thereof - I know I can pass a bar (unless it's having a GREAT happy hour), but I also know you really have to study. A Lot. I met lots of practicing attorneys who were there taking it the second time because, surprise surprise, they didn't have time to study the first time.

But I asked you all "why didn't I study when I had the chance?" And kudos to Suzy who hit it spot on: I simply wasn't ready.

And I think this all has to do with The Big Move, which in many ways resembles The Big Divorce. For many years I knew I wanted to be Divorced from Ex, but the actual doing part was so hard. There were kids to consider, and stuff, and moving, and splitting up, and telling people, and being an outcast and admitting certain failures, and hiring a lawyer, and filing court papers. Etc etc etc. But finally, after many years I got up the courage, set the wheels in motion, and pulled the plug.

And Now? It feels great and I know it was the right thing to do.

Looking back on the Florida Bar experience this week, I realize that just going and taking the test, even without studying, was the right thing to do. It helped me focus, made the decision more real. And now I know that I do want to pass this - I do want to make plans to move. I might not move this year or next, but I want to position myself so that when the time is right - when the job is right and it feels right with the kids - then I will be in a position to Go.

As my sister told me, "How do you eat that elephant? One bite at a time...."

Thanks Sissy.

When Soliciting Recommendations is WRONG

For the dreaded Bar Exam I stayed at a dive. I pretty much figured it would be a dive. I am spoiled, used to staying in 5 star hotels for work (when someone else is paying the bill) but I? Am cheap. So I moved myself out of the beautiful $300/nite Westin, figuring "I'm just going to sleep there." and booked a room at less than 1/2 price at the Howard Johnson.

Now I did check the reviews at Hotels.com. And surprisingly, there were hundreds of reviews and most of them positive. They were qualified with "for the price... " and yes I'm not dumb enough to think I was getting the Ritz.

But now that I am here, I have discovered WHY there are so many "positive" reviews. "Write a positive review, get a free drink."

Well Duh. Who wouldn't lie for a free drink? ME THAT'S WHO. (Wait I mean who wouldn't lie on a review. Because I'm pretty sure I've told some whoppers in my past to some unsuspecting member of the male persuasion in exchange for a drink or three). As a frequent traveler , I count on those reviews to an extent as a check on "do I really want to stay there?"

And I have to say, this is abuse. And when I get home I am going to write a scathing review that lets these companies know that HJ IS SOLICITING PERJURY!

This place is a dive. And I have promised myself that if I study for the test in July, then I get to stay at a good hotel! That, my friend, is incentive. Believe me.

Well that Stunk

Day one of the two day test - I was excited for the support from my previous post below and from my facebook friends. I foolishly thought I stood a chance.

The morning session was essays - and really the one thing I studied. I got three easy topics which I had predicted and hit pretty much a home run.

Then I found out the afternoon was all multiple choice, ALL Florida Law. Oops.

Doomed.

I think of the 100 questions I was sure about the answer for ... exactly one. I wish I were exaggerating.

I found out that a lot of people come back to repeat today's part. Tomorrow is supposed to be the easier part. Tomorrow - the part I studied for Not. At. All.

I also found a fellow out-of-state lawyer who also did great this morning and knew 5 questions this afternoon.

As we parted ways, I said, "See you in July!"

Grrrrr.

Going to Take A Test

The day (two actually) is finally here - the Florida Bar Exam. What the hell was I thinking when I started the paperwork for this last Fall? Oh right - that someday I want to live in Florida!

Well someday is going to have to be very very far in the distant future, because I have studied about 10 hours for this test. It requires about 100 hours of study. I have been working my butt off, fooling around procrastinating when not working, and generally doing anything but studying.

Why is it that I have not studied I wonder? I have pondered this a lot in the last three weeks - instead of studying, of course. Remember, I was snowed in for a week, with no power for 3 days = lots of time to study, right? But I didn't. I studied for maybe an hour or two. That's all. Why?

I honestly don't know. Perhaps I am so afraid of failing this thing that I figure if I don't study then if I fail, well, no biggie because I couldn't be expected to pass it. Perhaps I'm just so stressed over work that when I'm not working I don't want to study. I billed 255 hours in January. Billed - that doesn't count all the time I'm actually at the office. Do the math....

I do know that I do want to move to Florida. I have been looking at jobs on line down there and I keep thinking "yes yes move!" But I also love my job here and I just got a whopping raise. What I'd truly like best is for my firm to open a Florida office. There has been such talk but it's probably two or more years in the future. Can I wait that long? Well, the question is do I want to wait that long? The answer is NO.

Oh and in case you're wondering, it cost me about $1600 not including hotels and travel to take this test...and I am paying for it myself. Should be incentive enough, eh? Apparently not.

So why didn't I study? Why aren't I studying now instead of blogging?

If anyone has an opinion, I'd love to hear it.

It was Supposed to be Rhetorical

Dear Patent Agent/Scientist on the elevator yesterday:

As I bundled up in my Puffy Long Winter coat, donned my gloves and made preparations to step out into the frozen tundra as you stepped on the elevator, and I turned to you and said, "HOW many more days til Spring?!" That was a rhetorical question. I didn't really want to know how many. Because the answer is, "Too Many."

Yours truly,

The Frozen Girl on the 6th Floor
who would rather be in Florida, even if it's colder than normal there, too.

I Love TSA

Travelling to Florida Friday, going to meet the Captain. I am on a plane oh, about 2x a month it seems. So the security thing? No brainer. [unlike the sweet older lady today who apparently hasn't heard you can't bring bottled water or any liquids over 3.4 ounces through security. She didn't see the 48 signs, hear the 16 announcements, or read a newspaper in the last 3 years since that rule was implemented...]

I get pulled at BWI for what seems a random detailed check. OK no problem, I have time, they're doing their job. So I stand in this funky machine while they take some kind of something - I later decide it was some kind of xray and someone is sitting remotely reviewing it.

Now remember I'm going to see the Captain. So I'm wearing leeeetle white capris, with no pockets, rather nicely fitting if you know what I mean. And a very little sweater cut rather low "my eyes blue" that gets its fair share of, um attention. Sleeveless. And beaded flip flops.

In other words, not a lot of places to hide anything.

So I point to my two bags and random junk on the xray belt and say, "Do you need me to identify my stuff so you can review it?" And Mr. TSA says, "Oh no, just hang here a minute and you'll be done." Then I hear a voice on his radio and he responds, "No - no pockets. Those are buttons." and he smiles and says, "you're free to go."

SO what, I was hiding plastic explosives in my buttons? Perhaps a file in my bra?

I giggled all the way to Florida where I shared my story with the Captain who took one look at my outfit and said, "Oh yeah, you're really hiding a LOT in there!"

TRYING to Notice things Like A Lunar Eclipse

While not blogging this summer I have been focusing on other things. Repositioning my mind, my spirit.

Yes stopping to smell the Roses.

Cleaning out Clutter and Closets and Crap.

(Note to all and Google and etc, I Borrowed this Google Image of Clutter, my house is not yet that bad....)

And so Tonight the Captain said, "Lunar Eclipse." Because the Captain is all stars and moons and pays attention to stuff like that. He was going to take his local crew for a moonlight sail to watch the eclipse. I was happy for him but yes a little blue because I wanted to be there not here. But Oh well. So I followed Captain's Orders and googled "lunar eclipse time washington DC" and all variations thereof, but could not figure out what time I could see the eclipse.

(Ok ok I swiped this one, too, from Google)

Then I had a brain storm, Go Outside and Look for the Moon.

And I saw clouds.

OH well, I'd rather be here anyway.....

The Miami Thing

Every once in a while, I mention moving to Florida - or to Miami - as if it's a Sure Done Deal.

I wish.

Truth be told, moving south is my dream. But I am not sure when it will become a reality. Note I did not say IF. It's a matter of when.

First, the kids have to graduate high school. So I know I won't move til they go to college (fall of 2010).

Then I have to pass the Florida Bar. Actually, I am in the process of signing up to take that this summer and will hopefully pass it.

Then I have to convince my firm to move me to Florida and open an office down there. Here's where it gets tough. The economy is in the toilet (I'm sure no one has noticed but I said it anyway). Opening a new office when law firms are laying off about 1400 people/week? Yeah not the hottest idea on management's list of things To Do.

Actually our firm has a lot of clients in Florida, southern florida in particular. I've had a few cases down here myself. So I think I have a good argument lined up for them opening an office down here. Rumor has it the firm might actually be open to the idea.

Why not just jump ship and go with another firm you ask? Well, I could probably do that. But you know what? I love my firm. Yeah it's "biglaw" which can be a tough place to work. But I think you all know how much I love BossMan. And I truly like a lot of the people I work with. They are ethical. Moral. Decent. Funny. Jokesters. Caring. I know I could do a lot worse. Perhaps I could do better. Perhaps, but I'm not willing to risk that right now. If the right opportunity came along, sure I'd listen. But I'm not actively looking.

So although I will continue to talk about When I Move To Florida, in reality, I don't know when that will be.

oh and the kids? Daughter thinks it's the greatest idea EVER. She hates hates hates the cold. In fact, she's looking exclusively at Southern colleges, a few of which are in Florida. And Son? Although he wants to go north snowboarding to college, he loves the warmth and thinks coming home for winter break in Florida would be awesome!

Redefining Dreams

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

That's one of my fall-back quotes from college days. Still true every day of my life.

This weekend, while down in Florida with the Captain, playing dominoes with my Pirate friends and having lots of good laughs, it comes up that a certain house is for sale. Deco Dave, our Jamaican/New Zealand friend is in town. Deco Dave (who I'm pretty sure is my long lost brother, we have an amazing relationship like that) has a gorgeous house in the Grove that he kept despite moving out of the country. I love the location, the house, the guest house out back, the tree HOUSE with marble flooring, everything about Davy's house (ok ok it's worth well over a million so yeah, it has some "amenities.") Mostly I love the neighborhood - walking distance to town and the marina, lovely address with lots of Pirate friends in the neighborhood. Turns out the house for sale used to be the Captain's house - before his then wife decided it wasn't a place to raise kids and made him sell it and move across the state. Sigh. A few years later, Deco Davy's brother bought it and lived there for a number of years. Pirate neighborhood indeed.

I suddenly got the craziest ideas of buying the house. Ideally, I'd buy the house in 1.5 years, when my house is being sold and I have equity and all that. But the house is for sale now and at bargain basement prices. We start scheming and doing crazy math and coming up with creative financing plans. To be neighbors with DecoDave? priceless.

Next day Captain and I went to see the house (listed by another Pirate friend who gave us the code for entrance). The yard is perfect - lots of room for Queen Bee and Stinky to run, and already fenced in. Amazingly, much of the work the Captain did on the house is still in evidence 15 years later - clearly he has a good and careful hand for such improvements. And the latest owner revamped the entire (tiny) kitchen in very good taste. The windows have the original lead panes of 100 years ago. It already survived Hurricane Andrew back in '92, so we know it's hardy. Hardwood floors throughout. Nifty pass-throughs from the bedroom to the kitchen where the Captain's kids used to peek out and say, "We'd like cheeseburgers fries and a coke" while the Captain and his wife were making dinner 15 years ago. Much charm. My corner hutch would fit nicely in the dining room, as would the buffet and dining room table....

But as I walked around the house, it didn't feel like my next house. I have been toying with moving to Florida in 1.5 years. Where? I don't know - probably east coast, probably miami-ish. On the water? In a house? In a condo? I don't know.

At least now I know where I won't live. I realized this 100 year old house, while full of charm and in a great neighborhood, isn't me. I don't have the skills of the Captain to fix the many things that are likely to go wrong. [and NO the Captain and I won't be living together] I don't have the time or energy to "take back" much of the overgrown vines and plants in the way I would want to to make it My yard. I don't have the energy to revamp the bathrooms that haven't been redone since probably the 50's.

And so the Dream is redefined or maybe just given some definition.

At least now I know that I think it will be a house - I can't imagine not having at least a small yard. And it will be newer with a master bathroom and walk in closet like I've always wanted. And a decent sized kitchen. And a garage. And the charm of the neighborhood in the Grove where the Pirates live.

Where? I still don't know. But where not, well, I guess knowing that is some progress?