Bob Vila does NOT live here....

Once upon a time there was a girl who wanted to sell her house (and yes the blog title might need to change...). She had a realtor come by and he suggested she redo/paint the bathroom, the foyer, the downstairs bathroom, and fix the seams and paint the office. He said he would give her the number of a good painting crew. Before she got that number, however, she talked to her friend Rob who is pretty much a Bob Vila. He said, "you can paint right over the wallpaper - just spackle the seams, prime and paint. It's easy!"

Easy. Accomplishment. I am woman hear me roar.

So Girl Next Door went to Home Depot and bought $200 worth of paint and prime and spackle and "stuff."

Then Girl Next Door remembered Rob also said, "If there's any loose wallpaper, just tear it off or cut it out and spackle that." Girl Next Door assessed the wallpaper and saw many spots where it was coming down. So she grabbed a corner and started pulling...and was left with this... So she spackled like Rob told her and it looked like this...

And then she taped everything and thought she was ready to paint.

But when she primed where the wallpaper but not the sticky backing peeled off the wall, the paper bubbled. So she spackled again. And sanded again. and primed again. This pretty much went on for 5 days in a row. Finally on the 6th or was it the 7th? day..she finished.

But she needed new light fixtures. As part of her initial Home Depot run, she picked up what she thought were the same lights so that she could switch them out. But they weren't. And because they weren't, this would involve removing the original bases, drilling new holes, measuring, blah blah blah. Translation: No Frickin' Way...

So she went back to Home Depot but they didn't have the right size. Thinking about what new lights in a new size meant (no frickin' way) she searched Home Depot.com and found the right lights - miracle!!! And Ordered them - free shipping bonus!! Saturday she unpacked the lights....and one was BROKEN. noooooooo. One was not, so she killed the electricity, put up the new light, put on the electricity (each killing of electricity requires a trip to the basement 2 floors below...), and....No Light. So she ran to the basement, killed the electricity, ran upstairs, she took it apart, saw that she didn't wrap the wires carefully, rewrapped, reran to the basement, AND - LIGHT! Woot!

GND decided one new light was enough. Son came home for the weekend and said, "you're kidding right?" Ok ok, back to Homedepot.com....maybe next week.

Then Girl Next Door thought - "If I try to do this myself I won't get the house on the market until NEXT May...." By then Realtor had sent her the phone number of Painters. Painters came, gave her the most reasonable estimate ever....they showed up the next day...and in ONE DAY the painters removed wallpaper from foyer, spackled entire foyer, painted foyer and trim, painted living room ceiling, spackled and painted small bathroom, painted front and back doors, fixed the seams in the office and painted the ceiling AND the walls. In One Day. For $1300. Remember how Girl Next Door spent $200 for Home Depot supplies? Plus 6 days of labor?

BEFORE:

(You can't see the ugly textured wall paper in the photos above & below that is peeling off in places....)

Bathroom. What WERE we thinking??!!

Back door....

AFTER:

Office (above) the seams were all coming apart.

It's not fancy. It's boring. The entire house is beige and white - the perfect canvas on which someone else can paint their dreams.

At least, I hope so!

Oh and Home Depot being so awesome, Girl Next Door took back: 1 can of prime, 1 can front door paint, various brushes, rollers, trim painters, 1 tub spackle, 3 light fixtures (1 broken 2 didn't fit). She got a refund on all that, plus a $20 credit because the cashier felt bad that the light arrived broken. I bought 4 flats of flowers that were on 1/2 price sale, 2 bags of grass seed 1/2 price sale, weed killer 1/2 price sale, other necessities, (yes girls can find necessities at Home Depot! Stop smirking!) and spent only $38. Gardening - Yeah this Girl Next Door KNOWS how to Garden!!!

Redefining Dreams

"Life is what happens while you're making other plans."

That's one of my fall-back quotes from college days. Still true every day of my life.

This weekend, while down in Florida with the Captain, playing dominoes with my Pirate friends and having lots of good laughs, it comes up that a certain house is for sale. Deco Dave, our Jamaican/New Zealand friend is in town. Deco Dave (who I'm pretty sure is my long lost brother, we have an amazing relationship like that) has a gorgeous house in the Grove that he kept despite moving out of the country. I love the location, the house, the guest house out back, the tree HOUSE with marble flooring, everything about Davy's house (ok ok it's worth well over a million so yeah, it has some "amenities.") Mostly I love the neighborhood - walking distance to town and the marina, lovely address with lots of Pirate friends in the neighborhood. Turns out the house for sale used to be the Captain's house - before his then wife decided it wasn't a place to raise kids and made him sell it and move across the state. Sigh. A few years later, Deco Davy's brother bought it and lived there for a number of years. Pirate neighborhood indeed.

I suddenly got the craziest ideas of buying the house. Ideally, I'd buy the house in 1.5 years, when my house is being sold and I have equity and all that. But the house is for sale now and at bargain basement prices. We start scheming and doing crazy math and coming up with creative financing plans. To be neighbors with DecoDave? priceless.

Next day Captain and I went to see the house (listed by another Pirate friend who gave us the code for entrance). The yard is perfect - lots of room for Queen Bee and Stinky to run, and already fenced in. Amazingly, much of the work the Captain did on the house is still in evidence 15 years later - clearly he has a good and careful hand for such improvements. And the latest owner revamped the entire (tiny) kitchen in very good taste. The windows have the original lead panes of 100 years ago. It already survived Hurricane Andrew back in '92, so we know it's hardy. Hardwood floors throughout. Nifty pass-throughs from the bedroom to the kitchen where the Captain's kids used to peek out and say, "We'd like cheeseburgers fries and a coke" while the Captain and his wife were making dinner 15 years ago. Much charm. My corner hutch would fit nicely in the dining room, as would the buffet and dining room table....

But as I walked around the house, it didn't feel like my next house. I have been toying with moving to Florida in 1.5 years. Where? I don't know - probably east coast, probably miami-ish. On the water? In a house? In a condo? I don't know.

At least now I know where I won't live. I realized this 100 year old house, while full of charm and in a great neighborhood, isn't me. I don't have the skills of the Captain to fix the many things that are likely to go wrong. [and NO the Captain and I won't be living together] I don't have the time or energy to "take back" much of the overgrown vines and plants in the way I would want to to make it My yard. I don't have the energy to revamp the bathrooms that haven't been redone since probably the 50's.

And so the Dream is redefined or maybe just given some definition.

At least now I know that I think it will be a house - I can't imagine not having at least a small yard. And it will be newer with a master bathroom and walk in closet like I've always wanted. And a decent sized kitchen. And a garage. And the charm of the neighborhood in the Grove where the Pirates live.

Where? I still don't know. But where not, well, I guess knowing that is some progress?

BLASTING MY CAREFULLY PLANNED LIFE...

I have had a little trouble focusing at work lately, despite mountains of work (finally - lots of billable work) to do. I think life and challenges and summer and anniversaries etc just made it too hard. So last week I put together a list of all the work items I can and must accomplish over the next three weeks, accounting for deadlines and home-stuff and a day off here and there to visit with Sisters and Friends. I even calculated approximately how much time I think I'll have to bill to each project to get it done. (This is my world, people, my daily life is billed in 6 minute increments. Really. Not kidding).

I had a FAB weekend as the 2nd Annual Sister Act Tour hit Atlantic city (translation: my sisters and I met there for a weekend. 8-8-08 had to be great! Last year we did NYC). Perfect sunny weather, great fun. Yes will blog more when I get photos...my digital camera died, so I'm countin' on the Sistahs. It took me 5.75 hours to get home, instead of 3.3 because of a mere hailstorm and tornado. I waited them out at a local pizza joint, ate some stromboli and watched Olympic badmitton and finished my book (yep, trashy strikes again). But I wasn't really in a hurry to get home, so that was ok. For once no deadlines there.

I get home with time to spare - time to clean up my whirlwind messes from last week's working marathon, put out the kids' new towels, make the place all nice and clean smelling for their arrival that evening, weed out the damned plant boxes up on the catwalk (see header photo - those pink boxes are hell and I'm never doing them again...yet another postfor another day), and I decide to unpack and do some laundry. This is huge for me; I like to put off the laundry. But something was telling me..."Go to the basement." And as I descended the steps, I thought, "Gee the basement seems damp and hot for a basement with a dehumidifier running......."

And I went into the laundry room - to see water on the floor. And hear water leaking out of my fairly new hot water heater..... first I cried. Yep. Just cried. The water heater is wedged up against the dryer (the dryer I hate that Ex picked out and installed a couple years ago - just after the water heater) which is wedged up against the old, ginormous side-by-side fridge that I hate being in the basement and loved being in the garage but got overruled by Ex last year so 5 boys hauled it down the stairs, giving my son a hyneria in the process and how it's there forever and I hate it, which is wedged up against the furnace.

Can I move the dryer away from the water heater to figure out what the hell is leaking? NOOOO. the washer is in the way at a 90 degree angle.

I cry some more. Lest you think I'm all "Wonder Woman" - nope after the long trip and weekend of no sleep, and admitting some honest personal decision flaws in my life to myself on that long, solitary drive, I'm pretty much tapped out.

Friend calls, I cry to him but only for 3 seconds because my cell doesn't get good reception in the basement.

Then I brainstorm and remember Son is home alone next door and make an emergency call to Mr. Son the Man (no longer crying). Some might think this twisted, but he really loves being the Man around here and knows I will listen to his advice (I heard through a secret source that Ex doesn't give him much credit in the problem-solving arena. I hope that will change. He's really his Father's and Grandfathers' kid in that area). We empty the fridge, move it a little, after moving the old metal "closet" with rags in it, move out the dryer, find the shut off lever for the water heater, but only after Son SHOVES the sink next to the washer before I can say DON'T so he disconnects the pipe that drains the sink and I have that mess to figure out, too.

And now I'm wondering why this fairly new water heater is leaking? and yelling inside my head, "I HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE THIS HOUSE I HATE THIS HOUSE."

And thinking this is what I get for "taking" the house and "making" Ex move out. OK So not true but at the moment I was wishing I were in a beachside condo in Florida already....

Drag my sorry butt up 2 flights of stairs for the 15 millionth time to the office to find the hot water heater paperwork. Yes it's under warranty but all that fine print about getting approval ahead of time. On a sunday night when the hotline is closed, uh-huh.

And I'm looking at the water heater and thinking the top of it looks a little funky. did it explode? Did the pressure valve not release? Or is that gunk up there normal? And I know that Ex would know by looking at it for 15 seconds.

So I make the call. Which he doesn't answer. Surprise surprise...

But eventually I talk to him and he agrees to come over and look. I tell him I don't want him to fix it or anything - just want him to look and see if the top is "normal" or not. "Because, you know, you installed it."

He arrives - and walks past the 2 dozen pink roses on the foyer table next to the Card my parents gave me - and does a double take. I let him.

As he walks down the basement stairs he comments, "You need the dehumidifier on down here" and I tell him, "I just shut it off when I discovered the leak" Pompous ass. like I don't know it's damp and humid in the basement? Duh.

And he is baffled by the sight. First thinks the pressure valve didn't release. then thinks it did. Then says nope it's just lime buildup. And the tank shouldn't leak. (Um no duh - I kind of figured that but then why is there a steady stream of water dripping out of the bottom? Oh yes I did get my sorry butt flat on the disgusting basement floor and shine a flashlight under there and slide a paper plate under there to catch the drips. i know it shouldn't be leaking but it is). So he tells me to call someone. Duh.

Check. I had already called a local hot water heater hotline. Have they called me back? Nope.

So here I sit on Monday morning, unable to take a shower to wash the beach grime out of my hair, waiting for a call to repair my hot water heater. Wondering why I left all that work sitting on my desk at the office and didn't bring it home.....blasting my carefully planned life all to hell and back.

PS Edited to add: happy to report that indeed old friend Brian, who has maintained the heating and air conditioning in our houses for 20 years, was able to drop everything and come out. Home Depot/GE honored our warranty and gave Brian a brand-spanking new heater with no fuss, well except that he had to drag the old one out there. $633 later, I have a new hot water heater, my furnace has been inspected, my air filters changed, and I feel better about everything. I must learn not to panic and to know that with a little time and money, all will be well....
thanks for the support out there bloggers!!

Now back to work for me...

FINALLY Welcome to my Favorite Room....

Mrs. G, in a way that somehow only Mrs. G can, created this wonderfully fantabulous idea for the Heart of the Home sharing among bloggers. (check this out - it's a free giveaway). I am a little late, but it's still Friday so I'm ok. After all, I did get a last minute visit from my wonderful, supportive, loving and awesome cousin DF last night (more on that later maybe) so I couldn't take the photos last night, and well, I do have a day job people. SO it had to wait until tonight. But here it is - the heart of my home. My ROOM. Yes, I have posted previously on the whole pink thing, but here's more on why this, above all, is my favorite room of the house...

Here is MY ginormous king size bed. Ok accent on "my," yes. This is new, this sleeping alone and being myself thing. I love sleeping alone, in my own bed. And I love it that it's PINK. I love the comforter. I love the "M" pink pillow in the middle (does that stand for my first name or "mine" the world may never know). I am NO martha stewart and in fact a horrid decorator. I have made more home-fashion faux pas in the past 20 years than anyone would ever admit to. I am a lousy decorator. Oh well, next, move on, I have other talents. But when Ex moved out and I realized I couldn't keep the wedding quilt on any longer and I could go out and do my own thing with my room, well, it was better than sex with George Clooney liberating to say the least.

Ex was Bob Vila and redid and redecorated most of the house, using his own ideas and his own tastes, with me getting in a snippet here and there. To be fair, Ex and I generally had the same tastes and he was better at it, so I didn't always mind that he was so dictatorial opinionated suggestive on what we would buy or decorate with. And there was just a smidgen of angst when I would actually endeavor to buy something for the house, knowing I had to get by Captain Bligh. So Exit Ex, enter answering to me, myself and I. Enter Pink Comforter and My Bed and My room..... (why yes, I do make my bed every day. Do you? I wonder...am I weird or normal?) . No I don't usually blog from my bed - I have an office for that. but I read there, I sometimes watch late-nit-Nextflix movies on my laptop there, and, well, I get to be ME there. Sometimes My kids hang out with me there. But when it's time for bed, all are banished...

Here is the top to what used-to-be-ex's cluttered and totally ugly chest-on-chest (I think that's what you call it). Now it has MY stuff, stuff I didn't have "before. " Stuff that I look at and smile. Like the pink build-a-bear named "Candy." My sisters gave me a gift card for my 40th birthday and I made her. And She cracks me up. She's dressed for skiing and so cute. OH in my former life I collected Bears. I don't anymore. I still have the ones I did collect, in a box somewhere, but Candy Lives. And the cute little champagne glass candles? Target. My favorite store. And a cute, whimsical "spa day" bank that my mommy (and dad) gave me for my last birthday. It's silly and reminds me mommy loves me. And an old doll I bought Daughter in Spain when we lived there. She outgrew it, but I think it's precious...

And here is a jewelry chest that I always wanted but never had. Now I do. My sister helped me buy it on QVC. I adore it. Really. And my sewing basket is below it. Lest you think I am at all talented with sewing, I do buttons and the occasional crooked hem.

This is my triple dresser. (please ignore the crooked miniblind hanging down in my bathroom off to the left) I have always loved my triple dresser. The first suite of "real" furniture that we bought was our bedroom set. (sans the bed - that came later). We saved and saved and saved. And I love my triple dresser. I just realized I didn't take a photo of my lingerie chest - oh well, I like that, too. But this dresser, it has stories. And memories, old and new (see below)

My photo shop abilities are limited: here's the stories of my dresser treasures:

1) that's a jelly fish in a glass enclosure. The jelly fish glow in the dark. I think that is so cool. Friend Gave it to me as a present. And I love it. My kids think its creepy. I just think it's cool. And I like it. And it's my room. If you think it's creepy, leave.

2) that's a statue of the Virgin Mary that was given to my mommy by the "Mother's Circle" when I was baptized. That puppy is old. And it reminds me of my mommy and my heritage and my religious base. It says, "Home."

3) Those are shells that Friend and I found in the "Great Clam rescue of 2008." Some day I'll blog about that. It was a great day. A smiley day. And I look at those shells and smile.

4) That's a crazy jeweled blue crab that I found at Friend's Son's art boutique. It's cool. it's different. I bought it for myself b/c I like it. Another silly smiley thing.

5) OH my goodness, it's my Velveteen Rabbit. I got that bunny for Easter when I was like, 3? 4? I love him.... again "Home."

6) That's the only photo taken of my on my 30th birthday. It's Daughter and me in Portugal at the entrance of a Portugese version of "Sea World." It wasn't really a happy time - it was the first time Ex said, "I don't love you - I want a divorce." But it is a cute photo of Daughter and Me. So I like it. Plus she's holding a live parrot and she's so cute (my daughter, not the parrot) I can't help but smile.

So welcome to my world - my heart - my room. Thanks for stopping by...

Follow-Up to the Leveler

Follow-up to this post. OH Ex not only mocked my "below standard" leveler, he also challenged my son when he said, "No dad it's supposed to be in there at an angle" (when they were popping the bubbly piece back in that popped out WHEN THEY DROPPED IT). Ex said, "Why in the world would you need a bubble at that angle? Might try the next step up next time you buy a toool." Oh you are a tool pal.

GET THIS: Mr. Dishwasher installer man showed up yesterday (MY NEW BFF). And as he was finishing up and patiently showing me how the new dishwasher was level and the cabinets were slightly crooked - he whips out his kewl leveler - compact and shiny metal and magnetic so it sticks to the metal thingy your leveling - clearly a TOTL leveler. And IT HAS A THIRD BUBBLE! AT A 45 DEGREE ANGLE!! SO vindicated. I asked him about it - and Mr. Patient and wonderful Dishwasher Installer explained that for steps or something at a 45 degree angle you'd need it - not something you'd need often, but handy to have.

SO THERE MR. VILA WANNABE. Oh and your cabinets are crooked....