OOOPS I'm the mom....

Sometimes when the kids are with me (and their friends) I forget that I am the mom. I have kind of a silly streak in me - a practical joker if you will. Shocking, I know.

So yesterday we're driving to the movies and there's a "barely old enough to drive" young man in a hidiously colored mustang convertible in front of us. (One of the kids called it "baby shit brown, which made me hoot. Said that's what his mother would call it. I've heard of goat-puke green. Now I know a new one.) anyway, the boy was driving nicely. But he kept playing with his hair. Fussing actually. With his fingers. Then the light would turn green and he'd move on to the next one in a convertible with the top down. And get to the redlight and fuss with his hair (long - well beyond ears but maybe not quite to shoulders). I mean primping and fussing. A lot. So of course we started giggling. First laughing at Daughter's BF comment of "Babyshit brown" (so funny coming out of his band-geek, straight A mouth - in front me me!). And then I forgot I was the mom.

And I pulled a hair brush out of my purse and dangled it out the window and made eyes at him as he looked in his rearview mirror.

What was I thinking??

of course the kids laughed uproariously. I sometimes don't set the best example, I admit...

Six Random things

Thanks Myra for the nod. Curious. I am totally random. So forget 6, I could go on all day!
1. Cut me off in traffic? No problem. Run a red light? No problem. BUT FORGET TO SIGNAL AND I WILL TAKE A CONTRACT OUT ON YOU. yeah, no signals, my pet peeve.

2. I have a niece who is allergic to anything odd numbered. When she's in my car, it has to be on even numbers. When she pushes a button, it has to be even numbered times. She's 26 and there's no hope for her, but I love her. Except for the button-pushing...

3. I evilly trained my children to give good footrubs. When they were about 3 or 4 and we lived in Spain, I made it a competition. "Oh Son, you are the best footrubber in the world. Oooh. Nooo, wait, I think it's Daughter. yes Daughter now you are the best!' I did that all the time to get them to rub my feet for more than 2 seconds. Now my Son truly is the world's best footrubber (daughter figured out the scheme...darn.)

4. I fall asleep at my computer at least once a week. I just did it now. And now I'm awake. Clearly time to go to bed.

5. I have been getting hot flashes since I was 39 and my sisters tell me they will last until I am 50 and I therefore hate my genes. Hate hate hate.

6. I collect band and conference badges. I have them hanging on my wall in my office. I don't just keep mine, I approach random conference goers and ask them for theirs, too. I get them from "celebrities" who attend the conference, band leaders who perform, as well as random people.

THE RULES:
Link to the person who tagged you.
Post the rules on your blog.
Write six random things about yourself.
Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
Let your tagger know when your blog entry is up.
Who’s up? Let’s see…

1. My Cousin JO at Merry ol' land of oz because she is SOOOO much younger than I (3 weeks HA) and she has great wit

2. Persnicky Ticker because she is so random.

3. Etc etc etc I am learning to love Japan and I so want you to visit me when you come to the states.

4. And Alice at Honey Pie because random is good and admitting you like Tom Cruise movies even better...

5. Katy because us twin moms have to stick together.... and

6. And Katydidnot because she has the craziest life and the best comments!!!

thanks all for playing. time for me to go to bed before I fall asleep on my computer again....

MEMORY MONDAY

DATE: JULY 28, 2008

TIME: 10:20 A.M.

PLACE: MOTOR VEHICLE ADMINISTRATION

PRESENT: MOM, SON, DAUGHTER




Who says Memory Monday has to be about a distant Memory? I think the memory of this morning will last a lifetime. The day they got their Permits. The day they got behind the wheel and DROVE. (Um well maybe we did a little illegal driving through the neighborhood and in parking lots, but never on a "real" road....)


Cute how they wore matching shirts, no? OH yes, daughter didn't realize it until I pointed it out at MVA when they were about to have their photos taken. AUDIBLE GROAN.


Honestly, I'm not sure who was more excited, them or me. For some reason everyone tells me I'm supposed to be nervous about this. But I have been looking forward to this day. I have enjoyed every stage of their lives and haven't wished them to stop growing up or wanted to go back and do over - every age is so awesome and, in some ways, each age just improves over the last. I think We're Rare and Blessed that way.


Some great quotes from the 1.5 hours of driving.


MOM: Daughter, slow down a little.
DAUGHTER: But My foot's not on the gas.
MOM: TRY BRAKES!!!!!!!!
DAUGHTER: Oh, yeah, huh.


MOM [to Son]: A little slower on that next turn, ok?
SON: But I was trying to negotiate the turn and stay in the correct lane.
MOM: Just try it a little slower next time, ok?
SON: Well if I go slower next time then I blah blah blah
MOM: GO SLOWER ON THE NEXT TURN OR YOU'RE DONE
SON: Oh, ok.


MOM: WHOA Go left! Too close to the mailbox!!!!!
DAUGHTER: But I was trying to get around that parked truck on my left.
SON: YOU WERE ON THE GRASS I"M HAVING A HEART ATTACK BACK HERE!
DAUGHTER: Oh, sorry...



SON: THERE ARE CARS COMING AT ME!!!!!!


I think they'll be great drivers. Nope, my nose is not growing. I have confidence in them.

To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn

yeah so this post title shows my age.

The wheels of change are spinning and I experience an odd sensation as they do: excitement with a tinge of....dread? Apprehension? "Appredrension" maybe?

The 1 year mandatory voluntary separation date is fast approaching - the date on which I am free to file for the official divorce. I have been thinking about how to handle - to draft it myself? Wait and see what Ex does? [NOT] Call the lawyer we had hired to do the separation agreement?

A year ago we had said that we would do this together and file it simply, but that was when we were still civil to one another, about 2 months before he stopped talking to me and stopped acknowledging my existence. So I figured that plan was off.

And what appears in my inbox today but....an email from EX! About D-Day. In keeping with our previous understanding and in true "get 'er done" fashion, he has already called our previous lawyer, figured out what needs to be done, and is ready to do it. He offered to file the petition yaddah yaddah.

Shocking. In a good way. I have been wondering what was stewing in that depression-ridden brain of his. Was he going to file some crazy papers? Contest something? Try to break the separation agreement? I have been a little crazed these last few months wondering what he might try to pull, just because he is living in his own fantasy world of rejection lately. It appears - yes appears - I might have worried about nothing.

So I shot him an email back offering to do this like we did the separation agreement - working together, using my legal skills, filing the papers on the cheap, and getting it done ourselves.

two characteristics of his I can use to my advantage: 1) he is a true do-it-yourselfer who HATES to pay others to do what he can do; 2) he hates to spend money on anything that's not necessary.

Hmmmm, ball is back in his court. Wondering where it will go, but cautiously optomistic. Imagine....

Intruder Alert!

Monday night, 11:30 p.m. I am finally thinking about maybe going to bed - still on the phone with the Captain saying goodnight. I didn't get home until after 10pm from work and felt creepy inside my own house, alone, no dogs no kids. Something just felt wrong.

In my room, at the far side of the stairs on the second level, I could swear I hear something. Voices? Is that the front door rattling? I'm distracted by Captain but have that niggling fear creeping back into my heart, hair on the back of my neck standing tall....

Suddenly I say to Captain, "I swear I hear something!!!" Did I lock the front door? Bolt it? Yes, I am sure I did.

I go to the edge of my doorway and listen and YES I HEAR THE FRONT DOOR CLOSE!!!

I call out bravely, "WHO IS THERE?? I HEAR YOU!!!" Followed by stomping up the stairs. I scream into the Captain's Ear. HOLY SHIT SOMEONE IS IN THE HOUSE!!!!

Around the corner comes......Daughter and Lorelai! "HI MOM!"

EEEEEEEK Mom is still screaming.

"HOLY SHIT DAUGHTER! YOU SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME!"

Daughter, "Sorry Mom I was trying to be quiet. It's late you know."

HUH?? Trying to be quiet? Trying to get a baseball bat over the head??

ME: "Why didn't you call me to warn me?"

Daughter, "I didn't want to wake you."

Uh, yeah, I'm awake....

Scaley Creatures Nibbling my Toes - ?!

Under the Category of "Now I have Seen Everything."


It seems America can't get enough pampering. A simple pedicure just doesn't cut it anymore. Nope. No amount of foot rubbing, sloughing off, creamy gunk between your toes, or abrasive toenail filing can beat the feel of hundreds of fish eating the dead skin off your feet.


What, you think I'm kidding?!

First, Bossman sent me the website where he's sending his wife for her birthday tomorrow.

So I checked it out. And found this.

THOSE ARE FISH IN THAT WATER, EATING DEAD SKIN. (notice only children will do this long enough to have their photo taken)

NO I AM NOT KIDDING. SEE FOR YOURSELF....http://www.yvonnesalon.com// (hmmm looks suspiciously like another tender child's foot in there....)

Then our Loyal Assistant noticed this article on CNN.
Yep for a mere $35 for 15 minutes or $50 for 30 minutes, you can sit with your feet in a tank full of fish and have them nibble off your dead skin. It seems they don't have teeth, so they don't "bite you."

One woman claims, ""It's a little ticklish, actually." Uh-huh.

At least you no longer share a tank with other people, only to be embarrassed when the fish swarm your feet for your plethora of dead skin while leaving untouched that gorgeously svelte young girl next to you, with her perfect teeth and perfect skin and perfect hair who apparently has no dead skin for the poor starving fish to eat so they will gorge on your calloused tootsies. Yeah the Health Department declared that unsanitary. One old, smelly, scaley, calloused pair of feet per tank, please, with fresh water for every customer. Because who wants to stick their feet into a pool of dirty fish water anyway - puh-lease I need clean fish water!?

And then My Head exploded...

This week sets a New World Record for head explosions. Interestingly, both good and bad head explosions. See, I'm one of those people whose head explodes in good situations, too, and not just when things are so bad that, well, your head explodes....

So what happened this week?
on the Good Explosions list we have:

• Ainhoa came to visit. (follow the link for a lengthy post on my other blog about the kids' long lost Spanish best friend). I worried if the kids would have enough in common after 11 years away. Would they remember each other? Could they communicate? Would they have anything in common? HA I should have put the worry wart pants away - they had so much fun, they barely slept.
• My Son Held My Hand - voluntarily - while shopping today . Yes, My 15 year old Son took my hand while talking to me in the mall and we walked towards a store, discussing his latest "must have" in electronics. Forget that the hand-holding was part suck-up for fronting him money for this purchase until the vacationers return and pay him for the lawn mowing he's been doing. We held hands like when he was little. And it was sweet.
• My home computer at least survived the SDFix if not was cured by it. perhaps there is hope for this non-technogeek.
• My old Friend Irene, whose husband works with the Ex and who was hosting Ainhoa, is indeed still my Friend. It's one of those friendships where you say, "Hmm, are they His? Mine? Both?" I figured with working with him and all, they might be in the "Him" column, which I would understand. But Irene and I were really good friends when we lived in Spain and suffered that interesting experience together. It was awesome to reconnect and grow in our friendship together.

And then there were the not-so-good head exploding experiences.....

• Puppy Lorelai has clearly learned the word "outside," and she clearly knows what to do there. So why did she look at me so adorably and piddle on my oriental rug???
• Irene invited the kids to go to an amusement park with them and Ainhoa this week - but the kids are with Ex. So I had to STAND ON THE PROPERTY LINE and shout over to him about this opportunity while he grunted and said, "FINE I'll call her" and not answer me....BTW we hadn't spoken in over 3 weeks....despite seeing each other regularly in our yards when I smile and say "hi" and he pretends there is no one talking to him.....
• Why oh why am I up blogging at 130 a.m. and doing laundry when I have to go to work tomorrow??? My head can explode now or in the fast-approaching morning....

Goodnight!

Daring to Enter the Sacred Domain

Well, it's time. I have tried to ignore it. I have tried the "easy way out." But I have to admit it. I picked up a nasty-assed virus on my home computer that spybot search and destroy can find - but it cannot kill it. The demon is virtumonde and it is nasty. I have used my work laptop to google this badboy and am now entering the realm of the computergeek that is faaaaaar beyond my capacity. Even bleepingcomputer.com warns:

"I do not recommend using the tool without guidance from a qualified malware removal specialist!

Hell, I got the damned thing probaby surfing/downloading somewhere I should not have OR didn't keep my McAfee up to date. or something. So why not download/install/run a computer virus program that is waaaay the hell over my head? What have I got to lose? A few days? A few brain cells (from banging my head against the desk)? Surely not my dignity. And I have come to the conclusion that my computer can't get any worse. I guess smacking it around really doesn't work:

Should I wait for my cousin DF to come over, who is rumored to be in the area next week? Oh, if I had a brain and an ounce of patience I would. But my brain departed somewhere just before I "caught" this virus. And patience has NEVER been my strong point. And hell, it only took me 2 hours to get a lawn mower running - that's an ancient machine running just on a gas/oil mixture. Why the hell not delve into the world of computers, the world that has confounded and confused me ever since the day my college roommate dragged me to the MAC lab and insisted I learn to use a PC???

The fact that I now look like this is HER fault..

Wish me luck. If you don't hear from me by Tuesday, send in the GeekSquad.....

All images courtesy of Google Images - original artwork credited to those listed and is NOT my own.

You Know Things Are Twisted Up When...

Life must be a little unbalanced when....

• You are excited to find a lean cuisine in your Freezer at 11pm when you get home from work;
• You forget where you parked your car in the garage at work because it has been there so long;
• You're reading blogs on your crackberry while driving home from work to try to catch up;
• You think jott.com is the greatest invention ever;
• You realize in July that your dining room table runner is your Easter runner (um, I think this happened last year, too);
• Your winter snowman decorations are still on the kitchen wall - but at least you've put away the valentines and st pats day front door hangings
• Your car has been at the repair shop nearly a week - and it only took them 1 day to fix it but you keep forgetting to pick it up or get home too late to do it;
• Your other car has been in need of a front license plate since....you bought it in November but you keep forgetting to get one;
• Owner's manuals for those used cars you bought last November? Oh yeah, you'll get those too, one of these days...;
• You look at your Netflix account and realize that you've had the same two movies for over a month;
• You decide to "work from home" because all of your office-appropriate clothes are in a heap in a bag to go to the drycleaners, but, yep, you keep forgetting that, too;
• You are thankful that your children are teenagers who can feed themselves and like macaroni and cheese and sandwiches and cereal and fruit;
• You know that none of the important bills in your life (mortgage, insurance, utilities, etc) would ever get paid on time if you didn't have automated payments set up from your checking account and the 1 or 2 un-automated ones sometimes get forgotten...;
• despite these lists of "things to do, to remember, to get control of" you find that BLOGGING still manages to get done almost every day....

Somebody PLEASE Help Me

I have this teenage boy. And I just don't get him. At All. Somebody please translate....
BACKGROUND: Son has been "complaining' that he doesn't get to spend enough time with girlfriend. Girlfriend lives about 25 minutes away. Kids don't drive. Kids aren't allowed home alone.
MOM'S RESPONSE: Bend over backwards so that Son can see girlfriend.
TODAY"S EXCHANGE WITH SON:
Son: I don't think Girlfriend is coming over Thursday (oh gee mom did you rearrange your life and worry all day that helping Grandmother might fall in the middle and how would you do both things you promised? A day in my life I say)
Mom: Why not?
Son: She said, "I think we should talk" and I guess we're going to break up over the phone rather than in person.
Mom: Do you want to break up with her?
Son: Yeah for about a month now.
Mom: (as head explodes) (thought only - manages not to say this out loud) Then Why The Heee-ll have I been killing myself to drive you there or get home in time so that she can come over here if you've just been posturing for the perfect breakup moment??!!

Yes, I have considered that this is all a front and that he is really upset by her "we have to talk" thing, but I don't think he is. When not whining about not seeing her, he has mentioned that they really are very different and she's not "fun." Daughter and I agree she isn't very "fun." She's a nice and GOR-GEOUS girl, and I love her parents, but she is the only child who has stepped foot in my house in years whom I have not been able to joke with and tease and basically treat as one of my own.
And Yes I've considered that it's about sex. Much as that pains me.

A little bloggy break

By now you've all figured out that I've taken a blogging break. And just when I was getting a lot of visitors, too, which really makes my day, by the way.

To what do I owe this? Lack of time, computer malfunction, general disaster.

First it was a short trip down south to see Friend (one of my friend/readers has said that name "Friend" creeps him out and I should choose something else. I thought that was funny. what say you readers? Should I call him something else? My thoughts are "Captain" or "Rainman" [that's his real nickname from me]) I brought my computer but ended up not plugging it in, even though I sadly did have time because Friend/Captain/Rainman was on call and was in surgery for many of the hours of my visit. Sigh.

Second it was work. I do like my job, but sometimes I wish I had one of those so-called 9-5 jobs where when you're off, you're off. I'm never off. even when I sleep I am thinking about work. Sad but true. I do love my job, but sometimes...

Third it's life. MIL took a turn for the worse yesterday and I was called to go to Dad's rescue. Nothing major in some ways, but in other ways it's major b/c it's just the way she is. She has traumatic brain injury. She is combative. She has no short term memory. So she forgets she has to drink liquids and get's confused. And she forgets she needs a walker so she falls down. Then she gets raging mad b/c she can't get up and she starts a rampage, usually in the bathroom, where she's annoyed b/c she needs diapers, and she starts destroying stuff. And Dad, who was cared for for 50 years and now is in role reversal, throws up his hands and says, "I can't do anything with her." So I arrived to find her on the floor chucking stuff. Ironically, b/c I am the "outlaw," she will not rage at me. The minute I walk through the door, she is peaches and cream, we got her cleaned up, drank some gatorade, ate some food, read a book, had a nice chat.

Fourth, I still have a computer virus that I have "killed" three times. If I can get back in control of my life (HA) I will finalize the kill process.

Fifth, I have three dogs two of whom pee in the house. Under "dog lover" I might quickly become "FORMER." I banned two certain dogs from the upstairs and reminded Daughter that Puppy is STILL a puppy and needs to go out EVERY HOUR. As for the beast who should be next door but for some reason is an uninvited guest in my house, she is banned to downstairs and at night will be next door. Until Ex comes home from his emergency business trip.

So my friends, that is Life with The Girl Next Door. No major tragedies, but no witty posts to share, either.

I'm hoping to be back in the next couple days.

Until then, why Yes CHERI there does appear to be a gas can under Ex's window in the post below....NO I didn't put it there. funny you noticed it.

So How Close is NEXT DOOR

Some of you got to see into my "heart of the home" as I took you into my bedroom. Not surprisingly, this was the subject of an early post on this blog, too, which explains a lot about me.




Now my college Friend Marie, when told of the new living arrangements and the pink thing, suggested I take that M pillow (click on "my bedroom" above), put on some spike heels, get scantily clad, and do a little victory dance in front of my bedroom window. Huh? Well, putting aside that Marie is a little wacky, a whole lot funny, and incredibly supportive, why would I dance in front of my bedroom window?



Why?


Have any of you out in blogger world ever wondered just exactly how close is "next door"? Let me show you, my cyberfriends.....






How's that for close??




I kid you not, this is the view from my bedroom window...


And in case you think I'm exaggerating, here's a view with my interior window in the photo.
Yep, that's is junk out there, his window in mine. I can almost hear the toilet flushing over there...I lived in that house for 2 months while the twins were "cooking" - lived there a couple months when we were between houses before the twins were born. Lived there between SC and spain when the twins were 2.5 years old. I know that house.

Jenn at Juggling called me "bold." I think I might be just "stupid."

IT WORKS IT WORKS IT WORKS

OK I don't have Katydidnot's Tech support, but I do have a fantabulous cousin (or two) who fixed my computer by remote control. I really thought this thing was a goner. I must back up the hard drive!

I am so excited. But exhausted. it has taken me a couple days and a lot of hours. Time for bed. but happy to be posting again from my HOME computer! (ooooh that reminds me I have to get ready for Manager Mom's "open house"!)

So no prompt Tuesday here like I thought I might do. Maybe tomorrow.

PUPPY POWER!!!

OK how many of you loved Scooby Doo? And hated the new Scooby doo with scrappy do?? I hated it. But with a new puppy in the house, I had to say it.

Yes, Lorelai has been with us for a week now. Tonight she is back with me because Daughter is the greatest, most perceptive girl in the world and knew that i was lonely and delivered Puppy to my door at 9:30 pm when I got home from work. Plus I think after a week of getting up with puppy at 4am and 6am, Daughter was ready for a whole, uninterrupted night's sleep. Yes, that's what Grammy's are made for. Babysitting.

Here she is:!


As we arrived, we were worried Great-Gram would be upset to be hosting a puppy for 3 days. HAHAHA we shouldn't have worried! Within minutes, this was the scene! (above)



Grandpa was soooooo happy to have another Great Grand-dog!!! Really!!




Uncle TJ let her sleep in his shirt. You draw your own conclusions on that one...



TB and KRB are thinking about the puppy they're getting when they get back from Vaca next week...




And Uncle F - tb's dad - is ready to get a puppy BEFORe they go on vaca. He was so cute with Lorelai it was hilarious!



Here she is in her tiny bed with her tiny Tigger. That's T-I double "GH" rrrrr to you!



Eating is exhausting - you have to lay down sometimes..

Awwwww.


That's a big step for a tiny puppy! (2.5 pounds)



Curled up with the big sister - NO I did not pose them -they sleep like this!


Cousin Chrissy was sooooo stealing her!




See, this is Lorelai in Chrissy's bag!!

Awww Grammy loves the baby - this is her first day home....

ME! a BLOG! award!!

OK So here it is my very first blog award!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks so much to Busy Bee for thinking of me!! She reads me very often, and comments best stuff ever. I don't know how she finds the energy. Must be because she is a Busy bee!! Duh.

Here's the rules:

Here are the rules for those that were nominated:1. Pick five (5) blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3. Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4. Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award (http://arteypico.blogspot.com/)

And the nominees are......(big ol' drumroll)

1. I think she already won but dammit she was MY friend first so...Paranoid Mama, who constantly underestimates herself, her beauty, her charm, her humor, her intelligence, her amazing motherhood skills. I love you Fairfield Girl and I miss you every single day...

2. Persnicky Ticker, the girl who has endured more than most women should ever have to and comes back with humor and energy. You Go Girl!

3. Suburban Correspondent, because how the heck do you have six (6) kids and blog and live and eat and feed everyone and even sleep! And funny? She invented the word.

4. Manager mom b/c she heralds from my college hometown and somehow knows how to balance work and being a mommy. And is funny to boot. I love funny, btw.

5. Etc Etc Etc how the heck to you live halfway around the world and stay so grounded? Ask her, I don't know. I love her blog and the personal emails she sends after every comment. I think she might have been nominated already, too but too bad so sad. I love her.

6. What 5? 5 you say? oh damn you all to hell. I love my cousins and my cousin Carol P blogs to perfection - photos of the kiddies to keep me amused. Amazing humor. I haven't seen her in ___ years (I refuse to divulge how old I am. Oh wait, it's on my "about me" anyway....) but she rocks. Hard. And I love her blog title. I wish that I had duck feet

so there you have it folks. Blog away! I love this world!

NO MEMORIES TODAY

Memory Monday has been interrupted by technical and general difficulties.

Things currently going wrong in my home/life:

• Computer has wicked spyware viruses (Although my cousin DF may have sent me a few ideas to fix it - but I need a couple hours apparently to finish the job. Sigh)
• Living room ceiling is leaking - kids' bathroom is flooding and I need to get BossMan's repair man over to fix this. What's that I hear? The sound of money going down the drain?
• New Puppy has been hijacked by EX. He now has 3 dogs, and I have none. OK It's Daughter's new puppy, but we were going to keep her at my house. Yes I know it's best for Daughter if puppy travels with her so that Puppy can actually be HER puppy (see new photo in sidebar) AND it actually works better for me to have no dog when I have no kids (I travel a LOT), BUT I JUST WANT TO WHINE A BIT HERE AND BE A BRAT! He trumped me by saying, "Oh you can bring her over here when you're here) He stole my puppy. Not technically correct, but I'm just going to leave that one out there for now.
• My Pilot/SUV has the "Maintenance required" light on full time and is overdue for repairs.
• My convertible with just 17,000 miles on it is making chunking noises and has a ding in the back fender by some nasty DC parker (no for once I didn't back into anything....) and while all of the above is covered by warranty/insurance, I still have to find the time to deal with it.
• Is it any wonder my face has broken out in nasty cysts? Oh no, I don't get just normal acne, I get the cyst variety. Yes I get these under stress and they are genetic (my oldest brother gets them, too). There is nothing but time to make them go away. Indeed, the more you try to do something about them, the worse they get. Gee, just in time for a visit to see Friend, too. He will go running and screaming in the other direction.
• My roof leaks when it rains and the wall in the office (where the water runs down the chimney) is crumbling. We have had 2 separate roofers in the past few years try to fix this. Can I find the paperwork/receipts for this? Nooooooo. Time to spend another $3000 on someone else who won't be able to fix it.....
• My plants in my window boxes on the far right insist on dying. I have replanted twice. Can't figure it out. Yes I've tried new dirt and everything. The other three are perfect. Perhaps we will just have 3 boxes this year...
• There is an unknown fungus growing in my front garden. Again, likely fixable if I could find the time.

So Memory Monday became "want some cheese with that whine?"

Feels better just to get it out there...

On the bright side:

• I'm going to see Friend in a few days
• I'm very busy at work
• I got to see my parents and most of my family this past weekend
• the puppy is a great traveler and was good in Gram's house
• Daughter is ridiculously happy and responsible with new puppy
• Son is happy with puppy even though he wasn't involved in the picking out and arrived home from vacation to discovery puppy (I was worried about this - even though it is Daughter's 16th birthday present)
• BossMan has a great handyman who will work for me and fix all my house problems and is reliable
• I have a great mechanic who is trustworthy and reliable who can fix my cars
• If I put a little effort into it, I will remember that God is with me - everywhere every time in every place and hears me and He will get me through. My Faith is a wonderful gift.

OK feeling even better now. Thanks!

The Great Clam Rescue of 2008

You know, I've been talking about this for a while, so now that you've had all that build up, I'm not sure this will live up to the wonder of the day. but I'll try anyway.

A few months back I was visiting Friend in conjunction with a conference. Handy how that worked out and we were able to stretch the usual couple days into over a week. Honestly, it was a bit scary to think about at first. I had never spent that much time with him - just a few days here, a few days there, and probably close to 10,000 minutes on the phone. (thank God for in-calling...)

I needn't have worried, but that's another post for another day....

Anyway, I realized that while in Sunny Florida, Jim Morris - a small Jimmy Buffett-type artist I like to hear when he comes north - would be performing on Florida's west coast - and gee wouldn't it be fun to go see him perform with Friend? Friend, being Friend and adventersome and thoughtful and ridiculously romantic guy - booked a night at an adorable West Coast Inn so that we could enjoy the show and the beach all in a 2 day whirlwind. The show was Fab and Jim was a bit confused at first to see me in HIS territory and with Friend, but all was soon explained. We enjoyed our stay at the Inn and took a lovely walk on the beach the next day.

Where I come from there are no walks on the beach in March. So walking on the beach in warm weather and shorts in March? Priceless.

And on the West Coast of Florida there are lots and lots of shells on the beaches. Also unheard of where I c ome from. I felt like children must when confronted with a sunny day, waves, and an endless supply of spectacular shells - big, small, colorful, sparkly, alive. Literally. ALIVE.

We were walking along, and I spotted what I thought was rare - an intact classic clam shell. About1.5 inches in diameter. White and orange and intact. So Friend went to pick it up for me and it started "chattering" - no not talking, but vibrating and opening and closing like it was trying to bite us. I, of course, screamed, being at times a ridiculous and scaredy-cat girly girl. Friend laughed and dropped the clam. Then we looked at each other and realized it was alive and must be saved - this rare creature. So Friend gently tossed it back into the Ocean. And we marveled at that unique experience.

Now Friend is a native Floridian and has lived on both the East and West coasts of Southern Florida. But he had never seen such a sight before. And as we talked about the beaches we had each been to in our lives and the times and places we had collected shells, we both agreed we'd never come across a live one like that and how rare it was. And as I looked down, there was another one - alive. Knowing it would bite me, I told Friend to pick it up, "Save it save it" she cried to the Prince. (OK lame I know). And being the kind of Friend he is, he dutifully picked it up and gently tossed it back into the ocean.

Wow two in 1 day. After a lifetime of never seeing one. Who knew?

And there it was again - another one! Now the girly girl was squeeling, "Pick it up Pick it up! Rescue it!" And, Friend being the kind of Friend he is, did just that.

(Have I ever told you how infinitely patient this man is? Yeah he puts up with a lot from me. I can't figure it out....)

Now the Girly Girl Next Door was into it - there were clams among these shells, hiding, starving, dying, waiting to be rescued. And She knew Just the Man for the job. So she started galloping along the beach, looking for live ones. Finding one she would shriek to Friend to Rescue it. Cause although she wanted the clams to live, she wasn't sacrificing her fingers! I have limits.

But Friend couldn't keep up with the silly girly girl, Eventually she decided to Buck Up and PICK IT UP. So she announced loudly to the masses of slightly older folks trying to walk peacefully along the beach, wondering about this silly girl chucking clams, "I'll Get This One." And carefully, gingerly she picked it up. And it BIT HER and she shrieked and chucked it like a lit firecracker far into the ocean. Friend suggested that perhaps a light tossing would be better for the poor, light, traumatized shell. You know, being fired out of a cannon after sitting in the hot sun might not be such a pleasant experience. Girly Girl giggled, "Oh yea, huh." And raced off to find another.

And so they spent the next hour or so racing from clam to clam, tossing, chucking, hurling, flinging those clams back into the water. And laughed about the Great Clam Rescue of 2008.

prompt Tuesday - the ShowerOCizer

OK I was finally going to post about the Great Clam Rescue of 2008 when Cheri at Blog This Mom reminded me that it's Prompt Tuesday. And what do I find this week but a challenge to write an INFOMERCIAL? I just have to do this one.





Here's the product:

And here's the "rules."

This week, write an infomercial about the above photo.

• You must write your entry in 10 minutes. This encourages top-of-mind, primal thinking before the ego and judgmental brain kicks in. Just set a timer, make your kid count to 600 slowly, whatever. It’s an honor system. And I trust you.
• For this one, keep to 350 words or less.
• Please have fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Together, let’s rediscover the simple joy in the writing process.
• Post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.
  

The Shower-O-Cizer:
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Annoyed that if you find time for the workout, you can't find the time for the cleanup?
Or finding you're cutting into the workout time in order to get cleaned up for the office?
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Let the Revolutionary Shower-O-Cizer help you grab that workout AND that shower, all at the same time.
This patented, state of the art exercizer with future-tech carbon graphite tubing allows you to workout AND shower - yes - all at the same time. While the body is pumping up the arms, the chest, the core, by doing dips and crunches on the extendo-bar, the patented-water-blast pump system delivers a warm rain shower overhead. The shower-o-cizer comes with an original step-by-step exercise guide to help you maximize your minimal workout routine. No need to be late for the boss's meeting. Show up spiffed up and buffed up in just the amount of time it take you to shower. Go ahead and grab that donut, too, knowing you started your day with the Shower-O-Cizer.
And that's not all. Act now and we'll throw in the waterproof cardio belt to measure the heartrate and the calories burned, all during the convenience of a shower. That's right, burn calories, pump up the heart rate, buff up the chest, slim down those abs, simply by taking a shower before work.
The first 300 callers will also receive a bottle of exclusive "SmellTheBurn" shower gel, formulated for use with your Shower-O-Cizer.
That's right, you get the Shower-o-Cizer, the exercize manual, the cardio belt, and the Smelltheburn showe gel all for the low price of just 29.99 [plus shipping and handling]. Act now. order yours today.