Sometimes when I'm procrastinating, when I'm learning from my past life, I like to go through my old posts and remember how far I've come.
Today I read this.; an old post from a day I recall so vividly after re-reading that post. And I remember how unlovable I felt. Not just unloved, but truly unlovable. That was the lesson I took away from that disastrous thing I called marriage, "I am unlovable."
Fast forward a few years.
Enter the Captain.
Enter BLISS.
Enter unconditional LOVE.
Yes folks, it does exist, and not just from your dog.
Every day I awaken next to a man I fell asleep giggling next to (or something else maybe...) Every morning I look at him and thank God for the indescribable joy that has come into my life. Throughout the day we sent text messages, emails or even pick up the phone and chat. Just because we miss each other. When we sit on the couch in the evening and read, I put my legs in his lap just to be near him.
OK OK some of you will say, "Yeah you've only lived together 2+ years."
But really? I know THIS IS IT. Because he knows I get crabby, he knows sometimes I leave my shoes all over the house, he knows sometimes I rush dinner and burn stuff. He knows that when I drink too much I get a little mischievous. He knows I like to get up on stage and sing karaoke badly. He knows I have a big, loud, game-playing family. And he loves all that about me and more.
He also knows that I love deeply. I laugh often. I care about the hurting and injustice in the world, both near and far. He knows I am the absolute mama bear to my cubs. He knows my family is my most important world. He knows my religion and my beliefs are important to me but that I will not push them on you.
He gets me. And it Loves me, as is.
It is so wonderfully, joyfully satisfying to look back on my life and look at today and see how satisfying the journey continues to be.
Thanks truly be to God.
Today I read this.; an old post from a day I recall so vividly after re-reading that post. And I remember how unlovable I felt. Not just unloved, but truly unlovable. That was the lesson I took away from that disastrous thing I called marriage, "I am unlovable."
Fast forward a few years.
Enter the Captain.
Enter BLISS.
Enter unconditional LOVE.
Yes folks, it does exist, and not just from your dog.
Every day I awaken next to a man I fell asleep giggling next to (or something else maybe...) Every morning I look at him and thank God for the indescribable joy that has come into my life. Throughout the day we sent text messages, emails or even pick up the phone and chat. Just because we miss each other. When we sit on the couch in the evening and read, I put my legs in his lap just to be near him.
OK OK some of you will say, "Yeah you've only lived together 2+ years."
But really? I know THIS IS IT. Because he knows I get crabby, he knows sometimes I leave my shoes all over the house, he knows sometimes I rush dinner and burn stuff. He knows that when I drink too much I get a little mischievous. He knows I like to get up on stage and sing karaoke badly. He knows I have a big, loud, game-playing family. And he loves all that about me and more.
He also knows that I love deeply. I laugh often. I care about the hurting and injustice in the world, both near and far. He knows I am the absolute mama bear to my cubs. He knows my family is my most important world. He knows my religion and my beliefs are important to me but that I will not push them on you.
He gets me. And it Loves me, as is.
It is so wonderfully, joyfully satisfying to look back on my life and look at today and see how satisfying the journey continues to be.
Thanks truly be to God.
2 comments:
You are lucky to have each other--I have friends who have gotten lucky the second time around and they really do savor every moment.
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