From Son: "we destroyed. dominated. conquered and sold the natives as sex slaves."
why? because THEY SWEPT THE DISNEY COMPETITION! oh yes they did - won first place in every category in which they competed and the "best soloist" awards ALL went to kids from their groups!
So I texted him to congratulate him (Daughter had been texting me madly to tell me about the wins. Girls are communicators, yes they are!), and his response was the lovely text above.
I laughed out loud.
And am keeping it forever.
Showing posts with label text of the month. Show all posts
Showing posts with label text of the month. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Random Bits of Life
- How desperate are you to Blog? Try putting your laptop on your lap. Then put a 10 pound jack russell across your lap and your arms, just your fingers reaching out to the keyboard. And put an 80 pound lab to your left, resting her head on the side of the keyboard and snoring. Now type and surf.
- Helllllooooooo didn't I say that? Leaving the house yesterday morning:
ME: Son do you have all your rugby gear for your game tonight? [b/c I am not going to your game I'm letting you take the car [egad] while I drive your sister and her friend to shop and to practice and to shop and to dinner....so I am not available]
SON: Yes
ME: Do you have under armor?
Son (rolling eyes) YES
ME:Do you have shorts and socks and everything
SON: YES ALREADY
.....
text this afternoon...
SON: So mom if and when you come to my game can you pls bring underarmor its cold
ME: whaaaaaat you said you had it ...
SON: well I have short sleeves but it's cold 2nite...
ME: [grumble grumble insert wild mommy unpublishable texting here]
.... few minutes later...
SON: oh and pls bring socks I can't find mine
ME: WTF I thought you "packed everything.?!"
SON: Yeah I owe you big mommy. I love you
ME: sighhhhhhhI'll be right there...and you owe me a foot rub...
___________________________
- And in case you're wondering no Daughter doesn't listen either
Daughter YES
ME: and all your school stuff? metro card? money?
Daughter: YES YES AND YES SHEESSH LEAVE ME ALONE>
ME: as Daughter opens front door.... DO YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE?
Daughter YEEEEEESSSS
....
me, 2 minutes later as I walk through foyer on my way upstairs...and see Daughter's phone on the floor where she left it...
sigh
the phone now? Mine. She can have it back next week. So Friends? STOP TEXTING HER.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
FOLLOW-UP TO THE TEXT OF THE MONTH...
Ah yes, so what happened after Mom received THIS TEXT?
No, I managed not to crash the car.
Yes, First I hit "SPEED DIAL SON." I didn't really read the text (I was driving. I, ahem, never text and drive...) Not surprisingly, Son didn't answer.
Second, I texted back. "CALL. ME. NOW."
Yes, he called rapidly.
Third, I congratulated him for contacting me and not "hiding" anything. Oh, you think I'm crazy do you? When you realize the Ex had custody and there's no reason I would ever have found out about any of this - oh except for the eventual phone call from the insurance company - I decided to start with a positive by recognizing the honesty involved. Yes, many of you got a kick out of the part where he said, "stick to our story...." and yes, I thought that was hilarious. Indeed it was what made me freak out most, second only to wondering if he was, in fact, physically ok. Fact is, he leveled with me on what "story" he was "sticking to" so I gave him credit for at least being honest with me.
Fourth, I told him to read me the text, then I deposed him on the subject of text and details of said accident:
"R U HURT? [no]
Was anyone hurt? [no] ...
Who, what, where, when, how, why...
What "story" are you sticking to? [oh, the one about only 2 kids were in the backseat, not 3 or was it 4 really piled in back there?]
Did Dad know and approve you were riding with child driver [yes]?
Did Dad know and approve you had too many kids in car [no]?
Did you call Dad yet and tell him about accident [no]?
Snarky aside - he called his momma first, he called his momma first. Who does he turn to? momma. [um and no not because I am the more relaxed disciplinarian. We both kick their butts equally....]
I explained why he had to call Dad and tell him and why I had to check and make sure he called Dad (no, not because I don't trust you but because I have a legal obligation to inform him when a child has been in an accident... "divorce 101").
I explained why if he ever gets in a car again that does not have 1 seatbelt per rider, and, indeed, that seatbelt is not WORN, he will never, ever be allowed to:
1) get his permit [which is only 6 weeks away]
2) get his license
3) ride with anyone but his mother or father AND
4) the same restrictions will apply to his children and grandchildren until I die...
Ironically, Ex called Son while we were talking. Son said, "Don't tell Dad I told you first - he always says has to be first." I responded, "I can't lie to him, but I doubt the subject will come up anyway..." As it turned out, Son dropped the dime on himself b/c Insurance Agent found Dad (Sister/Daughter was at my house getting something, answered the phone, heard insurance agent ask about brother's accident, panicked, ran phone over to Dad's house next door, and voila, Dad finds out about accident from Insurance Agent, not Son. Oops) Son's excuse to dad? "I was talking to Mom - I was about to tell you....."
Yeah and if you are still reading and following any of it, you know that after all the convoluted story telling and coincidences, no one was hurt, but it was a giant wake-up-call/reality check. No, I didn't ground him for life - first, he wasn't in my custody, second, he turned to me when it all hit the fan. The old me would've ripped his head off and spit down his neck, then stopped to ask questions. The new me says, "Listen to what he's saying, try to understand how he got into this situation, make it perfectly clear that he shouldn't have been in it in the first place, give him options for how to handle this predicament in the future, and love him. Love him so he knows how precious he is." And that's what I chose to do.
Oh, and Son? IF THERE IS A NEXT TIME - CALL!!!!! DO NOT TEXT!!!!
what's that I see? a few gray hairs? wrinkles? high blood pressure? where'd I put that bottle of wine...
No, I managed not to crash the car.
Yes, First I hit "SPEED DIAL SON." I didn't really read the text (I was driving. I, ahem, never text and drive...) Not surprisingly, Son didn't answer.
Second, I texted back. "CALL. ME. NOW."
Yes, he called rapidly.
Third, I congratulated him for contacting me and not "hiding" anything. Oh, you think I'm crazy do you? When you realize the Ex had custody and there's no reason I would ever have found out about any of this - oh except for the eventual phone call from the insurance company - I decided to start with a positive by recognizing the honesty involved. Yes, many of you got a kick out of the part where he said, "stick to our story...." and yes, I thought that was hilarious. Indeed it was what made me freak out most, second only to wondering if he was, in fact, physically ok. Fact is, he leveled with me on what "story" he was "sticking to" so I gave him credit for at least being honest with me.
Fourth, I told him to read me the text, then I deposed him on the subject of text and details of said accident:
"R U HURT? [no]
Was anyone hurt? [no] ...
Who, what, where, when, how, why...
What "story" are you sticking to? [oh, the one about only 2 kids were in the backseat, not 3 or was it 4 really piled in back there?]
Did Dad know and approve you were riding with child driver [yes]?
Did Dad know and approve you had too many kids in car [no]?
Did you call Dad yet and tell him about accident [no]?
Snarky aside - he called his momma first, he called his momma first. Who does he turn to? momma. [um and no not because I am the more relaxed disciplinarian. We both kick their butts equally....]
I explained why he had to call Dad and tell him and why I had to check and make sure he called Dad (no, not because I don't trust you but because I have a legal obligation to inform him when a child has been in an accident... "divorce 101").
I explained why if he ever gets in a car again that does not have 1 seatbelt per rider, and, indeed, that seatbelt is not WORN, he will never, ever be allowed to:
1) get his permit [which is only 6 weeks away]
2) get his license
3) ride with anyone but his mother or father AND
4) the same restrictions will apply to his children and grandchildren until I die...
Ironically, Ex called Son while we were talking. Son said, "Don't tell Dad I told you first - he always says has to be first." I responded, "I can't lie to him, but I doubt the subject will come up anyway..." As it turned out, Son dropped the dime on himself b/c Insurance Agent found Dad (Sister/Daughter was at my house getting something, answered the phone, heard insurance agent ask about brother's accident, panicked, ran phone over to Dad's house next door, and voila, Dad finds out about accident from Insurance Agent, not Son. Oops) Son's excuse to dad? "I was talking to Mom - I was about to tell you....."
Yeah and if you are still reading and following any of it, you know that after all the convoluted story telling and coincidences, no one was hurt, but it was a giant wake-up-call/reality check. No, I didn't ground him for life - first, he wasn't in my custody, second, he turned to me when it all hit the fan. The old me would've ripped his head off and spit down his neck, then stopped to ask questions. The new me says, "Listen to what he's saying, try to understand how he got into this situation, make it perfectly clear that he shouldn't have been in it in the first place, give him options for how to handle this predicament in the future, and love him. Love him so he knows how precious he is." And that's what I chose to do.
Oh, and Son? IF THERE IS A NEXT TIME - CALL!!!!! DO NOT TEXT!!!!
what's that I see? a few gray hairs? wrinkles? high blood pressure? where'd I put that bottle of wine...
Monday, June 9, 2008
TEXT OF THE MONTH
Starting a "monthly" thing - This award is just what it sounds like -
"The best text of the month that I get from my kids."
(or maybe someone else, but most likely them. They text me constantly, not wishing to speak to me out loud when in public...)
And this one? Well, no contest.
SCENE: Driving up north - without kids - to see my family for the weekend.
CUSTODY STATUS: His
SON'S AGE: 15 1/2 (not driving yet...)
RECEIVED THIS TEXT WHILE STUCK IN TRAFFIC....
(EXACTLY AS RECEIVED)
mom i was in a car accident with marians sis on the way home today -- noone and nothing of ours was damaged at all. weve been at marians for a while and their insurance agent asked for who was in the car and they have YOUR hosue info. if they call u kno nothing and plz just let me handle it we need 2 stick 2 our story. oh and she was rear ended not at all her fault ill xplain later.
I swear, I don't make this stuff up. It's still on my phone....
Did he really think he could text me this?????????????????????????????????
"The best text of the month that I get from my kids."
(or maybe someone else, but most likely them. They text me constantly, not wishing to speak to me out loud when in public...)
And this one? Well, no contest.
SCENE: Driving up north - without kids - to see my family for the weekend.
CUSTODY STATUS: His
SON'S AGE: 15 1/2 (not driving yet...)
RECEIVED THIS TEXT WHILE STUCK IN TRAFFIC....
(EXACTLY AS RECEIVED)
mom i was in a car accident with marians sis on the way home today -- noone and nothing of ours was damaged at all. weve been at marians for a while and their insurance agent asked for who was in the car and they have YOUR hosue info. if they call u kno nothing and plz just let me handle it we need 2 stick 2 our story. oh and she was rear ended not at all her fault ill xplain later.
I swear, I don't make this stuff up. It's still on my phone....
Did he really think he could text me this?????????????????????????????????
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