tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post7877358608161454005..comments2023-09-23T03:55:36.697-04:00Comments on Next Door 2 .....Paradise: Still Blindsided even 2 years later (or 13 depends on how you count it)The Girl Next Doorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08106281074589247494noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-87264739512462868162009-09-09T20:14:22.094-04:002009-09-09T20:14:22.094-04:00I'm with Busy Bee Suz....ditto to everything s...I'm with Busy Bee Suz....ditto to everything she said! Hugs to you and your many success as a powerful, strong, wonderful mother and woman.Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17218519474695662328noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-48430832311872723492009-09-09T06:11:20.639-04:002009-09-09T06:11:20.639-04:00I totally identify with this.
On Facebook, I see...I totally identify with this. <br />On Facebook, I see old friends who married around the time ex and I married, and are still together. I get a pang every time. It's not that I want to still be married to HIM. I just envy them still being together, having had a successful marriage, and being together for their kids. And apparently, making a better choice way back when.Putting the FUN in DysFUNctionalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02996772324484385959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-67496169516651424132009-09-08T09:01:37.170-04:002009-09-08T09:01:37.170-04:00You are not a failure. What you've done does n...You are not a failure. What you've done does nothing but show how strong you are! Those thoughts you have about him? Yes, they feel strange and can really throw you for a loop. They might keep cropping up for a while, but eventually they do stop or at least do not derail you as much. Be kind to yourself.~annienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-77825826850228351812009-09-07T20:07:49.341-04:002009-09-07T20:07:49.341-04:00So...I'm reading through all the comments and ...So...I'm reading through all the comments and shaking my head and agreeing with every single one of them.<br />Failure? Schmailure! HOney...I've seen failures and you? not. even. close.<br />Look at all you have and what you have accomplished....no. not a failure.<br /><br />I think that we all have those moments of self-doubt, what-ifs, being blindsided by nice memories/fantasies....but.dkuroiwahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14702013452096435136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-3106869105900870482009-09-07T17:58:11.230-04:002009-09-07T17:58:11.230-04:00Failure is the LAST word you should use. You are ...Failure is the LAST word you should use. You are living your life, on your terms. I would venture to guess that you and your kids are a lot happier now. <br /><br />There are a lot of people who stay, keeping the kids in dysfunctional homes because they don't have your courage!SabrinaThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10347329403278847816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-87703044348424787672009-09-06T22:34:01.928-04:002009-09-06T22:34:01.928-04:00Oh, Sista, I know exactly where you're coming ...Oh, Sista, I know exactly where you're coming from. There's absolutely NOTHING weird about your "bizarre thought." I have those thoughts far more often than I'd like. And, listen up, Lady, you are NOT a failure in any way, shape or form!!!!ChiTown Girlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09240876368610100419noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-17176792817516992472009-09-06T17:53:38.248-04:002009-09-06T17:53:38.248-04:00You are so many things I can only hope I will be. ...You are so many things I can only hope I will be. I admire you so much. You're doing it and you're doing it on your own. You are a strong woman.<br /><br />I'm going through a divorce and although I know in my heart it's the right thing for my kids and me, it still makes me sad. I was miserable with him, he with me, we were toxic together. Why then am I still sad? The loss 3 Peas in a Podhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01836773658497641385noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-45158711491503667132009-09-06T00:57:53.130-04:002009-09-06T00:57:53.130-04:00Wow. I asked for a divorce 7 years ago but am sti...Wow. I asked for a divorce 7 years ago but am still with him, in love with someone else and terrified that I will have those same feelings one day. I admire anyone who is strong enough to go through with it, I keep hoping my day will come. <br /><br />You should be very proud of yourself. In my opinion, instead of being a "failure" you did something to prevent becoming a failure by Sabrinanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-5161234426120067222009-09-05T12:49:54.957-04:002009-09-05T12:49:54.957-04:00I never check divorced. I check the single box. ...I never check divorced. I check the single box. I refuse to let my ex rule over my checking of boxes. And really? Who is going to do what to me for not checking the divorced box? Sue me?!<br /><br />Sometimes, when I am feeling especially feisty, I check the MISS box. Because I? Still a teenager in my own mind! (that drives a mini-van and grocery shops and stuff, but meh...I still feel Persnickety Tickerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05610905362144187311noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-35834475570322294682009-09-05T12:40:36.832-04:002009-09-05T12:40:36.832-04:00I'd like to echo all the supportive things tha...I'd like to echo all the supportive things that everyone has said. You need to move on from this feeling of failure. Assuming you've described your situation accurately - he suddenly decided he no longer loved you but wanted to stay married until the kids were raised, you couldn't take it any longer after many years of a loveless marriage - you made the right choice. I hope that inFantastic Forresthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08044290192610027408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-52949370460782463792009-09-05T00:15:39.056-04:002009-09-05T00:15:39.056-04:00I think Cheri and Suz covered it really well--but ...I think Cheri and Suz covered it really well--but I can see where the feelings could come from. I hope they are fleeting.Jenn @ Juggling Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14455967210924573398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-18714607705400837342009-09-04T23:40:06.775-04:002009-09-04T23:40:06.775-04:00You know - we all do the best with what you have. ...You know - we all do the best with what you have. You're no failure. Look at your kids. They should make you feel good about where you are now. And you're strong and self sufficient.Myrahttp://www.wemakethree.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-60179527510422838942009-09-04T19:59:17.231-04:002009-09-04T19:59:17.231-04:00Wow. I hope you eventually get over these thoughts...Wow. I hope you eventually get over these thoughts, especially about being a failure. You did the best you could. You probably gave it more effort than someone else did. You still have a life to live. You still have love in your life. SO that 'one thing' did not work out, look at how much you have going in your life. You have a fantastic career (you can support yourself and your kids!) Busy Bee Suzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18115487928147732314noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3405237705406428948.post-14789958645604561982009-09-04T19:58:00.946-04:002009-09-04T19:58:00.946-04:00Ah,that's a tough one. You aren't a failu...Ah,that's a tough one. You aren't a failure and did what you had to do to keep your sanity but I somewhat understand what you mean.<br />I was widowed in 2003 after 15 years of marriage (my daughters were 3 & 5)so it's a bit different for me,but had my late-husband lived, we would not be married today. I can't say we should have never married b/c if not, I wouldn't have Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com