Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I've Proposed to the Waiter....Again....

20 years ago when I used to travel alone for work, I'd bring the newspaper. Now I have Crackberry. Amazing how the Crackberry makes me feel connected - I am posting facebook statuses, trading jokes with my nephew, chatting with friends, catching up on blogging. So despite sitting in a noisy NY restaurant alone, I don't realize I'm alone. I look around and all us singletons are texting or blackberrying our aloneness away. Except for that moment when I sit back, sigh and thank God for a good waiter, a kickass pinot grigio, and seabass that is so good I want to cry. After 24 hours without food I am ready to eat the tablecloth. My seasoned waiter brought me chunks of parmesan so good I want to crawl into it and live there. And just when I'm thinking life can't possibly get better, he recommends dessert "warm chocolate lava cake - chocolate cake with a warm liquid chococolate center topped with vanilla ice cream and carmelized bananas." I took a photo with my phone but it disappeared and didn't save....well neither words nor photos could do it justice anyway. Did I ever tell you how I married my waiter in vegas for ordering me the perfect dinner? ** I think I need to divorce him for this one.... I'll keep you posted....

** If you've never given over your dinner selection to a seasoned waiter in a fine restaurant, you should try it. Let them order for you and you might experience something you would not have chosen and therefore would have missed an amazing culinary delight. I happen to love food of all types, shapes, sizes and states of doneness, so this is tons of fun for me. I have yet to be disappointed. Except that I have to stop proposing to them....

Monday, January 26, 2009

Dads and Railroads and Hotels that Suck and Long hours and emergency rooms

So I have 300 great ideas brewing in my head with photos to match b/c of my swanky new camera courtesy of the Captain. I have awesome shots of my Dad's railroads and his Puns; Party photos; tales of emergency rooms interrupting anniversarys with dislocated knees and bloody chins; hotels that think I won't notice when I get to my room and find a less-than-king-sized-bed after telling the receptionist in no uncertain terms that I never sleep in less than a King so I used my nail file to break into the minibar that they failed to give me a key for and they can pay for the wine and so there; getting 600 documents dumped on my head the night before the deposition so instead of finalizing my outline I'm reading docs so now (some in Italian - when did I start speaking Italian?!) I'll be up all night instead of sleeping even though the partner told me to "get some sleep' after telling me the 60000 things I should've thought of but didn't b/c he's been doing this 25 years and I've been doing it 8....and there go the pringles from the mini-bar, too. I eat when I'm stressed....

Friday, January 23, 2009

Dogs and Chocolate should NOT live in the Same House

I had this great Idea last Wednesday - be the nice mom and pick kids up after their first exam and bring them home so that they'd have a 2 hour jump on Thursday's exams (rather than wait for a ride from friends after all exams are over) then go to work and stay at work until 8 pm, thereby putting in a full day, just later. Gave me a chance to run (yes exercise!) in the a.m. and hang out with dogs.

Picked up kids, Dropped kids at home, ran in to grab some stuff, about to leave when the cry goes out, "STINKY BUTT GOT INTO CHOCOLATE!!!!" Oh no. Chocolate kills dogs. that is not a myth. It shuts down their kidneys, affects their heart, damages the pancreas.

Quick, grab the hydrogen peroxide, call the vet to find out how much for a 9 pound dog, shove it down her throat and wait for her to vomit. (heh Suburban Correspondent, I'm honing in on your Vomit Territory!). 20 minutes pass. No vomit. Call vet. Redo peroxide. Wait. No vomit. Duh. Put Stinky Butt in car where she is guaranteed to vomit in 30 seconds. And she does. Bucketfulls of chocolate. Whew. Disaster averted.

But wait. There's more. Because that bag of chocolate that Stinky Butt was caught in? Yeah, it was 3/4 empty. And I will recall, while at work later (oh losing 2 hours to the Vomit Adventure), that it was a full, unopened bag of fondue chocolate. So someone else was there first. Quick call to home.

ME: Hey Kids, I think one of the other Dogs ate some Chocolate, too.

Daughter: No duh Mom, Queen Bee has been barfing all afternoon. Buckets of Chocolate.

Me: (thinking) how the hell did they eat so much chocolate in the 5 minutes we were home?! [they are not allowed to roam house when we aren't home, so it had to occur in that 5 minute span]

Return home from work 10 pm to a distressed Queen Bee. She's not doing well. I let her in my bed, thinking we are going to lose this dog tonight. We didn't get the chocolate out of her fast enough - she started vomiting about 4-6 hours after ingestion, meaning she was processing it. Ut oh. I snuggle with her and listen to her insides rumble, knowing more is coming out.

Sure enough around 1 a.m. I awaken to the sound of Dog Heaves, but I'm a minute too late. Thank goodness she is trained to heave in the bathroom. [no I'm not kidding, but she missed the toilet. She will throw up in the toilet if so guided...] But at least she didn't waste the Wall-to-wall rug with yet another gallon of chocolate vomit.

Next day I take kids to school, go by the office, call the Vet who says, "You need to get her in here NOW for bloodwork and IVs - we might be able to save her." Huh? Really? So I fly home to find a perfectly content Queen Bee showing no signs of distress. Double Huh? I take her in anyway, vet is astonished with her health - stomach fine, heart fine, kidneys fine. Takes blood anyway. Blood work comes back "thick" and a slight pancreas problem, but it will cure itself over time after a weekend of just rice. Vet's only explanation, "Well she's a Lab." Can You Say Marley?

I have stopped crying, I haven't stopped Thanking God (we had a lot of long chats Wednesday night!) and I have Banished Chocolate from my house. Forever. Thank goodness the Firm keeps it in the conference room candy dishes....

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Experience - Witnessing History

After an awesome weekend with Dad and family, I took a nap then packed some bags and jumped on the Metro with Daughter and her Friend J. Dragging a suitcase of blankets and snacks, we herded like cattle towards the metro and rode downtown to my office on 7th street - right in the heart of Chinatown and the Verizon Center (an arena). We unloaded at the office, got Thai Chili food with Sushi, watched a Movie at the theater (Benjamin Buttons - so cute!) and then wandered the streets with thousands of people, buying tshirts and buttons and hats and getting excited and caught up in the thrill of the moment....

We headed back to the office around 10pm in the feint hopes of getting some sleep. We prepped our bags for the morning, set alarms, rolled out sleeping bags and took over the partner's office down the hall who had a couch for mom....

All night long sirens wailed, buses emptied, people hooted. And We Did Not Sleep. ..

Finally at 4 a.m. we "awoke" to get ready to go. We donned layers and layers and layers....shoveled food in us even if we weren't hungry, and away we went...

We wandered 3 blocks down to the entrance just below my office...but at 430 a.m. it was full. so we went another block, but that entrace was full!!!! Crazy. So we hi-tailed it to the 3rd street entrance and VICTORY is ours - we are in the "running" for getting in...along with 5000 of our closest friends....

Someone said it was about 8 degrees at about 5 a.m. when this was taken. (below)

But we have our FRIENDS to keep us warm!

And we DO get in - not only that, but we also snagged a FRONT ROW SEAT to the parade!!! Life. Is. Good.

We had "dice" and cards and food to keep us warm til the show started.

And we felt very very very safe with a policeman/woman from all over the USA standing approximately every 2 feet apart all up and down the streets. The Miami Police were in front of us, braving the Cold to celebrate the MOMENT. Awesome

The Magic Hour - as President Obama gave his inaugural address, my girls Smiled! (above)
We could hear him but not see him - but we didn't care. We knew he'd be coming...soon...

A view of the capitol - up the street from where we were standing. There are a LOT of people up there -and then in the 'gardens' there are people flowing all over the place.

SEE?? People! (below)

And then we waited...and waited....and waited some more. And my "texting Girl" kept the police informed as to why there was a 1 1/2 hour delay when we heard about Senator Kennedy - they police kept saying, "Where's that Texting girl who can give us an update?!" Yep, Daughter's friend was giving us the play-by-play from home so we knew when the parade finally and their gadgets, she even beat my Crackberry and my Hey CNN You should Hire My Kids!

Finally we saw Flags and People Moving!

We watched tall men in cute uniforms perform daring feats of feet....

That's the General of the Armed Forces above in those tall, adorable Men.

And men With Furry Hats...

And REALLY REALLY Tall Men with big bayonets...

Yes you KNEW I was going to take photos of Shoes!

And then one of my favorites - the Fife and Drum Corps - awesome hats and nice wigs...
Reminding Us we've Come a Long Way Baby...
And then we saw media trucks, which could only mean one thing: The President is coming......

SEE??!! Him in the back seat and one of the girls in the middle....

Indeed, he came and we saw him and we took photos!!!

We cried. We cheered. We enjoyed being in the moment.

We wear our buttons "I was there " with pride.

We will never forget....

Monday, January 19, 2009

Going to See Obama!!!!

After an awesome weekend with my Dad and family who all loved the Captain (!), my Daughter and I are on our way Downtown to Join in the Excitement that is CHANGE sweeping the Nation. Yes, we are headed to join in the Swearing in of Obama.

Have my new camera ready for lots of photos. Will be sure to post when we get back!

Sometimes, Change is a Good Thing.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Turning Pages

This weekend my 78 year old Father will Officially Retire. He started life as a "paid killer." i.e. the Army. He loves telling people that.

8 years and 3 kids later, he and my mom moved to CT where my brother and I joined the family (I believe the teasing goes "He was a mistake and I was an accident...") and where I was raised. 21 years, 1 house for me. In my lifetime, Dad sold real estate. He and mom had a real estate/insurance business most of my growing up years. About 10 years ago (?), mom retired, and Dad closed his office to go work "part time" with someone else.

Finally we have been able to convince the man of Boundless Energy that perhaps he should get off the schedule and live life with mom. Enjoy their Maine house. Visit grandkids. Go on trips. Hang Up The Phone! And finally, he will.

My mom and dad busted their butts raising 5 kids through all kinds of "economies." I remember when the prime rate hit 18+ % and NO ONE was buying or selling houses. Yet my parents never let me feel insecure or worried. Frugal? Yes. But somehow they always provided. (By working their butts off, this I now know but couldn't appreciate when I was 10 or 12).

Dad's job allowed him the freedom to participate in my life - for example, to take me to the hospital when a field hockey stick rearranged my nose during the last 20 seconds of my game sophmore year. He was always on the sidelines, cheering me on. Always there with a car ride or the gas card or a trip to McDonald's or the keys to his office to "make copies."

I vaguely recall conversations between Mom and Dad about franchising or "moving up" or "expanding." In the end, Dad kept his name on the door - eventually adding Mom's and the "insurance" part. (actually they dropped his first name and just used their last name). But dad's name has always been well known around town and around the state as The Guy in Real Estate. He was honest to a fault, never compromised his ethics or his clients or his profession, no matter what the "opportunity" or how difficult the times. This was one thing mom was sure to point out to us kids as we were growing up. We never questioned Dad or his ethics or his business practices. We knew if Dad said it or did it, it was honest and by the book. Lesser men may have made more money, but no one slept as well at night as My Dad or could look his kids in the eyes any straighter.

When I think of Dad and his Career, somehow I think of my high school and college years most, days when he would pop in, whether at home after school (kept me and the boyfriend honest....) or at college to take me to lunch now and then, despite his hard work, he was always "there." Looking back I see the gift that truly was. And I am proud of the man he is and always has been.

So this weekend all 5 of his kids and their Significant Others (yep insert Captain here ____) will be on hand to congratulate Dad for a life of excellence and a Job Well Done.

Enjoy your retirement Dad - you've eaaarned it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I think It's Time for One At A Time

I love my kids. Really I do. They are pretty good teenagers as kids go. But sometimes they make me so made I am shaking and not able to control my tongue or my body. My fists ball up, my entire body starts to shake and I am so enraged at their.....unspeakable thoughtlessness..... unbearable meanness.... I cannot fathom they are my kids. In those times I say some horrid things. And I of course regret them later - sort of. Sometimes I think they deserve a little bit of honesty (NO I don't tell them they're stupid or unwanted or losers or anything. I cuss at them and tell them they are making me absolutely horrifically insane and I can't stand their behavior - mostly it's the rampant cussing that I get mad about later)

In December it was the fist through the window. Tonight it was a kick in the face. No I'm not kidding and I wish I were. Although it's not really as bad as it sounds.

It started pretty lovely. Daughter volunteered to make spaghetti for dinner and didn't tell me or ask me, she just started doing it. I discovered dinner in progress so made salad. It got ugly in parts, like when Son showed up to say, "Smells good" and Daughter snidely sniped, "You could at least set the table!!" I decided to smooth it over by asking, "Son could you please set the table?"

After dinner they started horsing around, calling each other names (I think they were kidding but I'm not sure) and then Daughter swatted Son in the head. Again, he blew it off and I think they were kidding. I did yell, "KNOCK IT OFF." (one of these days she'll respond, "That's what I was trying to do!")

Then we were all running up the stairs to do the "Christmas boxes into the attic" procession. Daughter was behind Son when she said something about a race and he said, "NO" and stuck his foot out behind him [here stories vary. I think he just stuck it out. She says he actively kicked her in the nose] Next thing I know there's screeching and blood's head blows off, flying all around the living room, cussing, annoyed. Daughter is screaming at me b/c she can't figure out how she could possibly be at all at fault (in truth she was barely at fault but she doesn't see how her name calling and swatting builds up to things like this. Sigh).

But Son? SON? HE ARGUED WITH ME FOR 10 MINUTES ABOUT HOW IT WASN'T REALLY HIS FAULT AND HOW SHE'S 50% TO BLAME. And what really made my head explode, creating enough energy to run the electricity for the entire city for a week, was the fact that his first reaction wasn't to grovel and apologize and feel really badly.

Huh? I thought I raised them better than that. I thought I was raising caring, loving, thoughtful kids. Where did these self-centered, self-preservationists come from?

And will anyone buy them? Or take them off my hands? Because I have come to the conclusion that I cannot live with them both another day. And thus the "one at a time" solution.

Daughter has asked to live apart from him. I agree. They are twins. In the same scholar's program at school. They ride to and from school together, share many friends, share a bathroom [oh the horrors right? I shared one with 4 other siblings...and it was 1/2 the size], have classes together (some not all), do ski club together, do band together. It's just too much togetherness. So I think when Ex stops traveling next month, we are going to divide and conquer. At least for a while. Thoughts? I'm really torn on this one, but I am about to lose what little sanity I have left. And I'd like to know what you think....

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Making My Bones

I did it. I finally did it. I stood before a jury of 8 and said those immortal words, "Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury...."

No longer a virgin, a rookie (ok I'm still a rookie), no longer a wannabe. I have finally finally finally after 8 years of waiting (sick isn't it?!) gotten on my feet and done it.

You want to know if I won, don't you? Or if I lost? Guess what. I didn't do either. Nope they weren't a "hung jury" either - we settled before they got to make a decision.

Settled! SETTLED! Crap crap crap. OK not really crap because it was good for the client to put the legal garbage behind them and get back to work and get back to making money. But let me tell you, if I could have just put on my "star witness" - the Executive VP of the 135 year old company who started in the shipping department 35 years ago and worked his way up to EVP? Yeah, he was totally awesome. Smart yet simple. Crafty yet straight shooting. Honest to a fault. The Perfect Witness. But alas, he had work to do and money to make. So he made the smart business decision and settled.

I'd like to think my killer opening with my ginormous flip-charts with the "disappearing trade dress" and my 4 hour killer-cross-examination had something to do with the parties settling. In reality, it was all about math.

Along the way there were surprises of course

  • the night the partner and I were sitting in the "war room" at 1 a.m. for the 5th night in a row and, instead of arguing with each other, we were both calmly tapping away at our computer working on the outlines for the next day, having drilled the clients for info for 6 hours and sent them home, we occasionally tossed out an idea at the other person, who would catch it and run with it, declaring it "perfect." No hype, no craziness, just a Zen-like "in the zone" moment;
  • working on a line of questioning for 2 hours, wondering how to lead the other side to walk through this "technical" stuff on cross and then showing up to court, only to have the other side walk everyone through it on direct without having to ask a single question, setting me up perfectly for my cross and the Client leans over and says, "PERFECT";
  • running to the office at 730 a.m. on day 2, having solved a mystery of "timing" - where you know the opposing guy was lying on direct but how to absolutely prove it? You wake up and it comes to you and you run through the streets of chitown in 7 degrees in your killer new Via Spiga's with your coat 1/2 closed, too excited to realize you should be freezing;
  • basking in the glow of being totally spoiled by local counsel, a man who has done this for 33 years and could try this case by himself and win it, even though he hasn't a clue as to the substantive law, but he is happy to mentor you and keep you fed with amazing italian food, to-die-for chinese food, stomach-crushing french food (where he speaks French fluently to the owner); and even a home-cooked pork loin roast made by his lovely and engaging wife - and he periodically stops by the "war room" to shake your diet coke can and refill it if necessary, all because he believes in you;
  • spending an hour with a jury after you tell them they can go home because they want to know more about the law and you, and they are happy to share their points-of-view and help you be that much better the next time;
  • standing next to your client in the hotel lobby the night before he leaves, just after settlement as he towers over you and in his darling and sincere deep-bass, oklahoma accent leans in closely and says, "If you evah need ah-nay-thang, an' Ih do mean AH-nay-thang, you caaaaallll meh" and feeling your heart break just a little as you say goodbye to such sweetness, wishing you could've had just 24 more hours to slam the other side for him, because he's worth every second of sleep you have lost.

Yeah, I'm home. Enjoyed a whole weekend with nothing to do but clean up Christmas stuff, shop, play with doggies, talk to siblings, run on the treadmill, hang out with the kids, watch movies. It's a good life. And I am blessed.

And thanks to ALL of you who sent me well-wishes to my "back posts" while I was at trial. I get your comments on my blackberry instantly, and they were keeping me energized and awake at 3am knowing I had my Peeps out there cheering me on!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Cameras and silliness


Because there clearly weren't enough toys to go around, Queen Bee and Stinky Butt had to fight over that one big bear...

Mine - MINE - Mine - MINE

Hmmmm, interesting necklace. Wait. I Like it!

No way no way no way no way I got a camera! You were listening Mom!

Nephew finds that Bows make nice accessories....

Brother Finds a better use for Couch than just Stuffed Bears....

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Christmas Hunt

Part III In the Christmas Past Posting While Trial Continues in Chicago...

Once there was a boy who wanted wanted wanted wanted Guitar Hero IV World Tour for XBOX 360....until 4 days before Christmas. And then he changed his mind. With no time for returns, Santa said, "What the hell, let's make him work for it anyway."

And so, of the many apparant LLBEAN Boxes under the tree this year (Santa decided they needed gloves and liners and warm layers), there was this ONE - LAST - BOX apparently "mislabeled" "to mom from mom." Nope it was to Son...


Hmmmmm I already got the Gloves and Sox and Layers I want.....too small to be a cool ski parka...

Hair color? No wait that's just a ruse. There's a note on the box top....."Not Under the Tree must you look, but in the pages of an Old Old Book...."

To the Guest Bedroom, in the pages of his Great-Uncle Ed's Mark Twain Adventures of Huck Finn, he finds another note, "PSYCHE not here either - that's just a TOOL to send you to the Garage, where there might be more in my Trunk than just JUNK."

Clearly on to our game, he makes of us and here's his Mock Excitement.....

Sure enough, it's just a clue. "Ha Ha Ha you're halfway there, now to the Office for a box, don't despair!"

He saw the "wrapped" box but didn't believe. He finally took out the verrrrry heavvvvy box and unwrapped it. To find his own weights and some empty christmas tree lights boxes...and, of course, a note...."

"It might be worth the scour of the shower to find a tower waiting there...."

But alas, no tower of presents. Just another Pink Envelop with a note....

"It's been under your nose the whole time. Look under the stairs in a box waiting there...." And he immediately knew to find the new empty Artificial tree Box that was stuck under the basement stairs...

Yep, World Tour Guitar Hero. Daughter and I LOVE it. He's still deciding......whatev'

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Cookies Cookies Cookies

Part III of the Back in Time while I'm at Trial Chronicles....

Cookies. Christmas is about Cookies. My Great Grandma Faison's Honey Cutout Cookies. I've blogged about them before. Here's a little bit about us making them....and the Dogs Who Watch in Hopes of a Crumb.... (Sadly I didn't get a photo of Daughter rolling them out - she rolled out ALL the cookies ALL by herself this year while I watched and put them in and out of the oven, talked to her and told her how Awesome she is. Truly she is....)

before we make cookies, I have to dig into the Bacon you bought for Christmas morning and eat some because I can't make cookies if I'm hungry...

Son thinks we didn't make enough....

Pssssst Hey Stinky Butt, I hate to tell you, but you have this funny Cone Thing on your head and I think you're distracting from our Cuteness Factor which is why they haven't tossed us a SINGLE morsel - can you please ditch that thing?!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Sounds of the Season

Part II of the "Back in Time while I'm at Trial" postings.

Son is a rather accomplished Pianist. With GreatGrandparents who were in Jazz Bands and had their own radio shows to Grandparents who play anything by ear to an Uncle who is a composer/musician and plays any darned instrument to Parents who played Piano and [mom] Sax and marched in the band, and lots of aunts and uncles who performed in various music groups, we are, well, OK - We've Cornered the Market on Band Geeks. I admit it.

one time, at band camp....

But one Sound, one simple thing, takes away the grime and grump of the day. One moment is all it takes to make me forget that sometimes Life is Hard, or Not Fair, or JustPlainSucky. And especially at Christmas, this Sound, Vince Gerialdi (i can't spell) coming from This Boy...sigh....

When I see this Boy at This Instrument, time stops, and all is well. (yes he is wearing an oxford and a tie. Just because that's what he wears every day. He no longer notices and forgets to remove it upon entering the house. Just adds to the ambiance if you ask me).

10 years of "I have the Itchies - I can't Practice." and "I HATE THIS PIANO" and "I WANT TO QUIT" and "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME PRACTICE." And "I HATE YOU MOMMY AND I HATE THIS PIANO AND I HATE MUSIC" all become worth it when I can't tear him away from the keyboard long enough to do anything, even eat. Who knew?

Monday, January 5, 2009

Going Back in Time

While The Girl Next Door is in ChiTown for Trial, we'll be posting some happenings from yesteryear - 2008 and the Christmas season.

Today, we'll start with - Decking the Halls....

First up - the 3 foot "easy tree." I threw it up in about 15 minutes. Except this year Stinky Butt was in the house, trying to eat the "snow" under the tree. Duh. Good thing I know about "bitter apple."

The girls decided they were in charge of decorating outside. So I gladly relinquished the reins. I did have to help with extension cords and shared with them my acquired knowledge of how many watts can you string together before you a) melt the plug or b) have a fire. Why yes, I do know those answers...somewhat from experience....'nuff said.

FINALLY the Bear Stands...

Meanwhile, Son and I Haul the Tree inside.

Until it soon looks like this....

Daughter was recruited to again do the banister - which lights up (no I can't rotate the photo....)

And then we got lazy and tossed the "Basement" bears onto the living room couch. And Voila! We are done...

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Sometimes I hate me and My Blessed Organized Disorganization...

One of the last things on my list before packing to a flight for late January to see the Captain, cashing in one of my Southwest Vouchers for being a nice passenger and giving up her seat.

But first I have to find said Voucher.

last I saw it, it was on my dresser.

No I moved it off there, figuring I'd lose it.

Check the desk.

Oh that's a mess.

Check the "to be filed" bin.


The firebox? oh hell don't open that, I'm not that organized. No way did I put it there.

Look in the "coupon folder" instead. Nope.

How about the "travel folder"? Nope

Go back to your dresser - remember moving it someplace safe. Look in dresser drawers. Look in all drawers in bedroom. Take out all drawers and look behind drawers.

dang dang dang dang dang where the hell did I put it besides remembering I put it "someplace safe."

Go back to desk. Tear it apart. All piles get reorganized. Nope

Open all briefcases (OK I have 4 at my feet for various purposes....I have a problem, I know). Nope in none of the briefcases.

Think back to the timing of receiving said Voucher.

Oh what the hell, look in that firebox......and yup....there it is. Safe and sound. Even if we had a fire, it would've survived. Right where I put it.

Time lapsed 45 minutes....grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Friday, January 2, 2009

The Nervous Shoe Equation

This is the one they don't teach you in law school. The number of shoes you pack for trial is directly proportional to the nervousness you feel. Nervous factor x Y = number of shoes packed. So far I have at least 10 pair. For a 5 day trial....

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Why do People Keep Wishing Me A Happy New Year? oh yeah, it's Jan 1...

Blah blah blah trial work jury instructions outlines pretrial conferences blah blah blah ....

I'm sorry if I am repetitive. It may surprise some of you to know that lawyers, particularly in my area of practice (Intellectual Property - trademarks [including false advertising], copyrights, patents) RARELY go to trial. Indeed I have been at my firm for 6.5 years and have attended ONE, count 'em, ONE trial. And that didn't count b/c I just sat there. I didn't do a thing. (ok I did a lot, but NOTHING in court). So the fact that I am "first chair" and going to trial Tuesday? A pretty big deal. Just like TV [not] but I get to do opening and closing and all the directs and crosses. When I'm not peeing my pants in fear I'm reallllly excited.

So this whole New Year's thing kind of went by the wayside. When the Captain called at midnight to wish me a Happy New Year, I couldn't figure out who the hell was calling and bothering me while I was working.....lucky for me he is a patient, understanding man who lives 1000 miles away and was drinking Champagne (reallllly good stuff if I know him and I do) and enjoying Fireworks from his Sailboat on Biscayne Bay while I was freezing and working.

So today I took a 124 minute break to run to the mall, buy 3 new skirt suits (jury consultant says NO PANTS), a new long down parka (Judge says courtroom is HOT meaning I need a kickass outside coat to get me from office to Courthouse so I don't freeze then shed coat and wear light clothing inside), lots of SPANX to hold in my ever expanding butt (I have written my weight in lipstick on my bedroom and bathroom mirror and in marker on the refrigerator in the hopes I will soon STOP EATING - my 1 and only New Years Resolution), a couple new dress shirts, and some accessories for trial and the working weekend with the client. Yes I bought all that and more in 124 minutes. I am amazing. And oh the bargains.....And everywhere I went in the mall? Clerks kept saying, "Happy New Year." HUH? Why do they keep saying that? OH YEAH. Right. It's Jan 1. And I mumble back, "Yeah um Happy New Year....."

And tonight when I got home after 124 minutes away, do you think my wonderfully supportive teenagers [cough gag] managed to complete the ONE task I requested? Last night I fed 8 teenagers pizza, then drove them all to a party, then picked them all up 3.5 hours later and let 6 of them sleep over. ALL I ASKED WAS THAT THE TREE BE UNDECORATED AND TAKEN OUTSIDE BY 6PM. That's all. Just 1 tree. A few ornaments. Lights. Take it outside. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Did mama bear lose it and yell at her teens? DUH YEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSss . Did they want to know why I was yelling? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Am I ready to sell them? DUH YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs.

So I won't be posting anything recent for about 10 days. I have gathered photos and planned posts adhead of time for a few days to come. Then I'll be back to ranting about trials and clients and worry worry worry worry blah blah blah blah boring boring boring boring. Sorry in advance for being such a Law Geek.

Oh and Happy New Year!